Death by shark?

[Smilla]

I am sure many of you older folks are fans of the movie Jaws.

Where I live we are having a bit of a great white shark "problem" so they are closing beaches left and right because of the spike in great white sightings—last week alone 8 great whites were spotted, one of whom devoured a seal. I wish to be that seal!

My plan would be to kayak out to sea with a trail of bait attached to my kayak. And some bait on my body. If I spot a shark I will immediately leave the kayak, jumping into the water and flailing around to attract attention from the shark. I'll put the bait around my neck, closely and snuggly tied so my jungular is impacted immediately upon attack.

Any drawbacks to this method? Input appreciated, escpecially from marine experts and fishermen. Jacque Cousteau where are you?

Thank you,
Smilla ;)

 

[skitliv]

Did Volatile possessed you? lol

 

[Tiburcio]

Did Volatile possessed you? lol

He already died and his spirit is in Smilla now.

-------------------

Here where I am there is a HUGE amount of jellyfishes in the beach, there is a massive concentration and very easy to see, could somebody die by a poison overdose?






Now seriously, I think both methods are awful ideas.

First of all, being devoured by any animal is cruel, gruesome and keeps the pain to totally unknown levels. Every form of suicide I know is more peaceful than this.

Second, if when you try to kill yourself you feel fear, how do you know that fear won't come when yiu are in the kayak? You know you are going to die after all.

The last, there is a small chance if some boat or some rare thing with humans is near you could be rescued with several injuries due to shark attack. It already happened in previous situations.



If you want to die in the sea, I simply can't reccomend this.

I'm even going to say that attach yourself to a heavy weight or having concrete shoes, falling into the water and dying choked is way more peaceful than a shark attack.

 

[Smilla]

He already died and his spirit is in Smilla now.

------------------- For sure

Here where I am there is a HUGE amount of jellyfishes in the beach, there is a massive concentration and very easy to see, could somebody die by a poison overdose?






Now seriously, I think both methods are awful ideas.

First of all, being devoured by any animal is cruel, gruesome and keeps the pain to totally unknown levels. Every form of suicide I know is more peaceful than this.

Second, if when you try to kill yourself you feel fear, how do you know that fear won't come when yiu are in the kayak? You know you are going to die after all.

The last, there is a small chance if some boat or some rare thing with humans is near you could be rescued with several injuries due to shark attack. It already happened in previous situations.



If you want to die in the sea, I simply can't reccomend this.

I'm even going to say that attach yourself to a heavy weight or having concrete shoes, falling into the water and dying choked is way more peaceful than a shark attack.

Ok I think I will stick with Nitrogen.

;).

Meant this as a humorous thread btw.

 

[lv-gras]

pulls out ouja board

portuguese man of war

 

[Smilla]

pulls out ouja board

portuguese man of war

I'm rowing out to sea now. Made some sandwiches (tuna salad), bought a bottle of Gin, and some limes.

Wish me luck. I tied canned sardines to the kayak. FYI I took sardines out of the can first.

Also added leftover salmon

 

[Smilla]

Also it's Jacques Cousteau


I spellled his name wrong earlier

 

[Nauseated]

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

Is the kayak hard hull or inflatable? I was thinking it would be less traumatizing for the shark if you simply punctured the kayak, jumping in May startle the shark. We'll its probably to late now.

Peace be with you.

 

[ge0rge]

 

[Smilla]

I'm still rowing ‍

It's a hard kayak.

Sun is coming up and I don't see any sharks yet.

 

[Dip]

I'm still rowing ‍

It's a hard kayak.

Sun is coming up and I don't see any sharks yet.

You've got wireless internet out that far?

 

[Smilla]

You've got wireless internet out that far?

I'm using radio waves

Thanks for asking.

I saw a dolphin so far but no sharks.

Need to eat then get back to rowing.

 

[Dip]

I'm using radio waves

Thanks for asking.

I saw a dolphin so far but no sharks.

Need to eat then get back to rowing.

Ok I think I will stick with Nitrogen.

;).

Meant this as a humorous thread btw.

Skipped over this part before, suspected as much heh.

 

[Smilla]

Skipped over this part before, suspected as much heh.

I'm actually rowing right now.

Thanks for the well wishes. Much appreciated.

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

Dolphins don't like sharks there one of only a few natural predators of sharks (they can swim 60mph underwater and "torpedo" the shark) plus there probly eating the bait, did you bring a knife?

 

[Smilla]

Dolphins don't like sharks there one of only a few natural predators of sharks (they can swim 60mph underwater and "torpedo" the shark) plus there probly eating the bait, did you bring a knife?

No knife. Gin gone.

Did not know that about dolphins.

So I guess I should row back, this attempt was doomed.

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

Yeah, get some beer and go relax, sharks are generally just interested in seals that close to shore, but with legs dangling on a surf board..from underneath looks just like a seal.

 

[Dip]

No knife. Gin gone.

Did not know that about dolphins.

So I guess I should row back, this attempt was doomed.

Have you tried death by giant squid or octopus? They're known to pull entire ships into Davy Jones locker ^^

 

[Soon4me]

 

[Smilla]

Have you tried death by giant squid or octopus? They're known to pull entire ships into Davy Jones locker ^^

Yes. However Tiburcio ruled this out in his post above.

 

[Nauseated]

I'm glad you are just joking because this would be the worst way to go. Sharks generally will take a taste test of you first to see how much fat you have on your body they don't normally eat people they just bite huge chunks out of them and leave them to bleed out and die. A likely scenario is you would get your leg or arm bitten off and wash up on shore maybe be found and saved. Watch the show "I was prey" it has people recounting their tales of animal attacks, very gruesome stuff indeed.

 

[Xmac000]

Did Volatile possessed you? lol

Lol this. I wouldn't call it a silly method since its pretty effective but it will hurt like hell before you die. Thats one. Two where are you going to go to get eaten by the shark? Beaches don't have sharks in the perimeter and zoo's have things keeping them away from people.

 

[Freesan]

You should also wear a seal costume.
Make yourself look like a real juicy one.

Forget the kayak.
Otherwise the shark will see through the disguise and wont bother.
As seals dont row in kayaks.
Just swim.