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M

manic

dead again
Nov 8, 2024
35
i get afraid sometimes about what could be the afterlife but personally i think its nothing and it sounds so peaceful. i like thinking about after i die- i know that everyone will be devastated but i crave that attention even if its messed up since its my death. it feels peaceful knowing i wont feel a single thing anymore i already feel numb but i know im not truly numb i think not feeling anything at all means youre dead. i wont talk to anyone ever again, no one can upset me or i wont go crazy anymore. the thought of CTB makes my brain and mind feel calm, it feels like a final end thats in my control and i know the impact.
 
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vanillamilkshakes

vanillamilkshakes

Aspiring Corpse
Aug 26, 2024
435
I relate a lot, death is the one thing that is final and forever
 
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Kemmerich

Kemmerich

Member
Jan 15, 2020
21
I agree. I'd love to never have to wake up and worry again. My problem is that I'm afraid of messing it up an permanently crippling myself instead of killing myself.
 
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M

manic

dead again
Nov 8, 2024
35
I agree. I'd love to never have to wake up and worry again. My problem is that I'm afraid of messing it up an permanently crippling myself instead of killing myself.
i have the exact same fear and this is probably the main thing thats holding me back- i dont want to fuck it up
 
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Kemmerich

Kemmerich

Member
Jan 15, 2020
21
i have the exact same fear and this is probably the main thing thats holding me back- i dont want to fuck it up
The concept is terrifying. Being dead doesn't worry me, but the thought of not getting it right and being trapped as a hopelessly maimed invalid scares me stiff. I've asked around a couple times for what is esteemed to be the most sound method of exit, but each method has it's own considerable risk and margin for error.
 
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M

manic

dead again
Nov 8, 2024
35
The concept is terrifying. Being dead doesn't worry me, but the thought of not getting it right and being trapped as a hopelessly maimed invalid scares me stiff. I've asked around a couple times for what is esteemed to be the most sound method of exit, but each method has it's own considerable risk and margin for error.
i know i cant believe even killing yourself could be so difficult
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,354
I agree so much. Death truly is peaceful and nobody can convince me otherwise. I see peace in not having to suffer or go through life for all of eternity. Life only offers hardship and suffering for me. I'm not like the majority of people on this world as they find hardship and suffering to be worth it whereas I could never find any suffering or hardship to be worth it. People always talk about how they would be depressed if they didn't have to work or have any responsibilities to do but, in my case, I think I'd actually be happy and relieved if that was me. Unfortunately, the only way to not go through any suffering is via death.

I always say that I'd be at peace when I'm dead but of course I say this metaphorically as I acknowledge that there is no me when I'm dead. What I mean by peace here is the absence of suffering. I don't believe that I need to feel peace for there to be peace as I merely consider it to be the absence of suffering. To me, the scenario in where I am dead (which will be a real scenario that happens to me because everybody dies) is peaceful even if there isn't a me in said scenario. Also, the fact that there isn't a me makes death sound far much better for me as I hate everything about living and being alive. I hate having experiences, feelings, thoughts etc and the cessation of all of that sounds so peaceful to me.

I'm not scared of death and I heavily embrace it but what I am scared of is dying due to how horrific it is. Honestly, all natural ways of dying seem to be horrific to me and that scares me immensely. Unfortunately, to reach death, one has to die but, after the dying process is done, I will be free from all suffering and harm that could happen to me
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,199
I understand, I also believe death to just be nothingness which is all I wish for, all I've ever hoped for is an eternal, dreamless sleep free from all pain and suffering where all is finally gone for me, I just hope for the peace of never existing again.
 
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HenryHenriksen_6E

HenryHenriksen_6E

Member
Oct 19, 2024
77
I can agree. Death sounds really peaceful, unless you believe in hell or something like that. I don't believe in the afterlife, but sometimes I wish I did. I want to have a calm beautiful time after my death. A prime example is me sitting on that bench by my cottage, together with my deceased cat, along with other dead loved ones, where we watch over the emerald lake as the sun is shining, probably talking about something trivial. I can't help but love that idea.
 
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M

manic

dead again
Nov 8, 2024
35
I agree so much. Death truly is peaceful and nobody can convince me otherwise. I see peace in not having to suffer or go through life for all of eternity. Life only offers hardship and suffering for me. I'm not like the majority of people on this world as they find hardship and suffering to be worth it whereas I could never find any suffering or hardship to be worth it. People always talk about how they would be depressed if they didn't have to work or have any responsibilities to do but, in my case, I think I'd actually be happy and relieved if that was me. Unfortunately, the only way to not go through any suffering is via death.

I always say that I'd be at peace when I'm dead but of course I say this metaphorically as I acknowledge that there is no me when I'm dead. What I mean by peace here is the absence of suffering. I don't believe that I need to feel peace for there to be peace as I merely consider it to be the absence of suffering. To me, the scenario in where I am dead (which will be a real scenario that happens to me because everybody dies) is peaceful even if there isn't a me in said scenario. Also, the fact that there isn't a me makes death sound far much better for me as I hate everything about living and being alive. I hate having experiences, feelings, thoughts etc and the cessation of all of that sounds so peaceful to me.

I'm not scared of death and I heavily embrace it but what I am scared of is dying due to how horrific it is. Honestly, all natural ways of dying seem to be horrific to me and that scares me immensely. Unfortunately, to reach death, one has to die but, after the dying process is done, I will be free from all suffering and harm that could happen to me
i completely understand and i agree so much- an absence of suffering would be peaceful and euphoric
 
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