Help Depression and emotions

[Redt2go]

Anyone ever get so depressed that you straight up have no emotions towards anyone? If you do feel somethings it's being annoyed with them ? I can't tell if it's my narcissism or my depression that's making me compassionless and shitty

 

[TiredHorse]

Yes indeedy. Not so much while I was trying to ctb, but just before. This might have described me, for a while: https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

 

[wxtyubidi7y]

Yes indeedy. Not so much while I was trying to ctb, but just before. This might have described me, for a while: https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

That link is great.

 

[Redt2go]

Yes indeedy. Not so much while I was trying to ctb, but just before. This might have described me, for a while: https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

Like literally not loving people you should love?

 

[TiredHorse]

Like literally not loving people you should love?

I don't think I'm the right person to reply, actually. I've got a funny detachment from the emotion of love. There has only ever been one person whom I knew I loved, or who I knew loved me. Everyone else with whom I exchange "love" --mother, sister, stepfather-- I can't really define what I feel, so default back to "love." Appreciate, like (sometimes), respect, want as part of my life --yes. I can feel those. And I know there is a deeper level of affection/appreciation/closeness with some friends that I translate as "love" for lack of a more articulate way to express it to them. But I don't feel "love" in the way I think I should be able to, and certainly not in the way or with the bone-deep certainty and acuity that I loved she who is now my ex.

 

[Redt2go]

I don't think I'm the right person to reply, actually. I've got a funny detachment from the emotion of love. There has only ever been one person whom I knew I loved, or who I knew loved me. Everyone else with whom I exchange "love" --mother, sister, stepfather-- I can't really define what I feel, so default back to "love." Appreciate, like (sometimes), respect, want as part of my life --yes. I can feel those. And I know there is a deeper level of affection/appreciation/closeness with some friends that I translate as "love" for lack of a more articulate way to express it to them. But I don't feel "love" in the way I think I should be able to, and certainly not in the way or with the bone-deep certainty and acuity that I loved she who is now my ex.

Yeah I relate completely. It's kind of like oh no there goes the one person who made me feel something disappearing in my rearview. I feel bad (I guess not bad but immoral) because a good amount of friends and family love me but I don't think I'm able to love them back in the same way. I think you were the perfect person to reply. Thank you <3

 

[Memento Mori]

I don't think I'm the right person to reply, actually. I've got a funny detachment from the emotion of love. There has only ever been one person whom I knew I loved, or who I knew loved me. Everyone else with whom I exchange "love" --mother, sister, stepfather-- I can't really define what I feel, so default back to "love." Appreciate, like (sometimes), respect, want as part of my life --yes. I can feel those. And I know there is a deeper level of affection/appreciation/closeness with some friends that I translate as "love" for lack of a more articulate way to express it to them. But I don't feel "love" in the way I think I should be able to, and certainly not in the way or with the bone-deep certainty and acuity that I loved she who is now my ex.

You, Sir, spoke right from the cell of the non existant soul in my host.

 

[Redt2go]

Yes indeedy. Not so much while I was trying to ctb, but just before. This might have described me, for a while: https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

Somewhere deeep deep in my boundless void it hurts that his depression series is so relateable lol

 

[Redt2go]

You, Sir, spoke right from the cell of the non existant soul in my host.

Hey! I feel like I have no soul too!

 

[TheCrow]

 

[Memento Mori]

Hey! I feel like I have no soul too!

Dunno how I feel about that or how to segregate the soul from the consciousness for understanding what we are except flesh, bones, fat and electrical impulses :D

At least I left my heart at a better place than my chest.

image

Lol I have a screenshot of that. What about a thread for suicidal memes?

 

[TheCrow]

Lol I have a screenshot of that. What about a thread for suicidal memes?

Oooooooh, that's a good idea!

 

[therhydler]

View attachment 6188

 

[HellinHeaven]

I'm so done, I can't even cry. Helpless state of mind. Fucking terrible, I would love to cry but I can't.

 

[Lil_Intro_Vert]

I barely feel anything anymore, positive emotions are just remnants of what they should be, and I can't really seem to get very upset or sad when bad things happen. When my gf of three years broke up with me last year I didn't cry, i just felt hollow and fucked up. I just keep retreating into myself, going deeper and deeper to hide from the stress that comes with emotions and caring for others. I know I should feel guilt about hiding my self harm and suicidal tendencies from my friends, but I don't care. Like that blog post linked up above, i'm unable to give a fuck. The only times i really feel anything is when my anxiety kicks in, but only when it gets really bad. Most of the time the anxiety is an elevated heart rate and mild panic while my mind wonders what the fuck is going on and it just sucks. I miss being able to feel things and being able to care, even tho it is a lot easier for me to plan my suicide and not have to worry about the guilt. The lethargy that comes with feeling nothing is terrible though, I'm constantly tired and constantly empty, and sleep can't fix it.

 

[HellinHeaven]