Michi_Violeta
Specialist
- Feb 3, 2025
- 319
Something happened yesterday night that dealt the last blow to my hopes of having the life I wanted. My ex is already making future plans with the asshole she replaced me with and I just cannot see a future in which I'm happy after having gone through all this. It's time to make future plans for myself and I've made up my mind: I'll ctb by the end of the month or beginning of the next. I've shared with you my emotions leading me there and you've been quite empathetic for which I'll be eternally thankful. I've also received some feedback on my methods so I'll try to combine everything in just one thread, focusing for now on how to select a method and which protocol to follow.
Method: it's been impossible to find SN locally and my timeframe doesn't allow me ordering from DMC. I have to available methods based on the PPH: overdosing either on amitriptyline or chloroquine. I made a thread before about ODing on amitriptyline and various members advised against it. I now realize that the amount of pills needed is too high and I still have less than half of the 10 grams required by the PPH. Then I read the section on chloroquine: apparently I don't even need a prescription for it (will try on Monday to order a couple of packs) and I require considerably less pills. It's also got a considerably higher reliability rating on the PPH, albeit a slightly lower peacefulness score. This makes the sedative essential and, sadly, I haven't been able to acquire it because I have limited choices: zopiclone being the most likely. I already got hold of metoclopramide and will be using it as indicated.
Protocol: regardless of method, I'll follow the PPH unless there are better recommendations here based on evidence or successful cases of people fortunate enough to be now out of this fucking cruel world.
Preparations: so far, besides getting the pills, my only preparations have been informing my closest and most beloved that I've made a choice and that it's not their fault. I have no idea how to proceed on the rest, although I have planned writing a will, leaving some goodbye notes, and a playlist for my funeral. I would commit suicide in a hotel room, but I'd still need to find a way to leave home without raising too much suspicion and informing someone of my location ONLY after enough time has passed and there's no chance of being rescued. In this sense, I'll also take into account speed for choosing a method (although, sadly, both score just 2/5 on the PPH).
Thank you very much everyone for reading and for this beautiful space of understanding and empathy, where we're not judged for our feelings or called selfish simply because we want a dignified exit from what we're each suffering. Any input is very much appreciated!
Urgent questions
1. Amitriptyline vs chloroquine overdose: which one is best?
2. Replacement for benzodiazepam: is zopiclone a suitable alternative to sedate myself before the pain of the overdose kicks in?
1. Amitriptyline vs chloroquine overdose: which one is best?
2. Replacement for benzodiazepam: is zopiclone a suitable alternative to sedate myself before the pain of the overdose kicks in?
Method: it's been impossible to find SN locally and my timeframe doesn't allow me ordering from DMC. I have to available methods based on the PPH: overdosing either on amitriptyline or chloroquine. I made a thread before about ODing on amitriptyline and various members advised against it. I now realize that the amount of pills needed is too high and I still have less than half of the 10 grams required by the PPH. Then I read the section on chloroquine: apparently I don't even need a prescription for it (will try on Monday to order a couple of packs) and I require considerably less pills. It's also got a considerably higher reliability rating on the PPH, albeit a slightly lower peacefulness score. This makes the sedative essential and, sadly, I haven't been able to acquire it because I have limited choices: zopiclone being the most likely. I already got hold of metoclopramide and will be using it as indicated.
Protocol: regardless of method, I'll follow the PPH unless there are better recommendations here based on evidence or successful cases of people fortunate enough to be now out of this fucking cruel world.
Preparations: so far, besides getting the pills, my only preparations have been informing my closest and most beloved that I've made a choice and that it's not their fault. I have no idea how to proceed on the rest, although I have planned writing a will, leaving some goodbye notes, and a playlist for my funeral. I would commit suicide in a hotel room, but I'd still need to find a way to leave home without raising too much suspicion and informing someone of my location ONLY after enough time has passed and there's no chance of being rescued. In this sense, I'll also take into account speed for choosing a method (although, sadly, both score just 2/5 on the PPH).
Thank you very much everyone for reading and for this beautiful space of understanding and empathy, where we're not judged for our feelings or called selfish simply because we want a dignified exit from what we're each suffering. Any input is very much appreciated!
Last edited:
