F
Forever Sleep
Earned it we have...
- May 4, 2022
- 10,069
I've never really had a very strong desire to have children. I do feel a maternal instinct to care for and protect them- when I've been around them but (maybe unusually,) I've never had a great desire to have my own. I'm grateful for that because, it makes it easier to lean towards anti-natilism which I feel is absolutely the right decision for me.
I very briefly saw a therapist in my early 30's who asked me the question. She said maybe I didn't want children because my childhood had been pretty painful. Maybe it would remind me too much of my (deceased) mother. I didn't like to say it was because it was more that I didn't want them ending up as unhappy as me and- I'm fairly certain they would.
I suppose I could understand the question. It's probably a fairly common desire of people of that age. Still, it also made me feel a bit annoyed in a way. Like- that's a potential solution. Have a child. Bring purpose into your life. Like a living, feeling, emotional crutch. What about the child's life?!! Why would it be good for them to have a mother like me? I think I'm being a much better mother leaving my unborn children where they are.
I don't know how common that is really. Especially for women. I've known and known of quite a few women who were almost obsessive about becoming mothers. I suppose also, I was pretty fixated on a career. Plus, I was never attractive enough to have a partner so, the actual practicalities weren't there as an option for me!
I'm curious to know though- how many people here feel that biological drive. If you don't, do you ever wonder why?
Also, as a side note, for those who have chosen not to have children, have you ever found yourself almost having to defend why? That's happened a few times to me. It's made me realise that maybe it isn't all that normal! It's been kind of weird though. Plus, kind of hard to hold back the full anti-natilist reasoning without insulting them.
I very briefly saw a therapist in my early 30's who asked me the question. She said maybe I didn't want children because my childhood had been pretty painful. Maybe it would remind me too much of my (deceased) mother. I didn't like to say it was because it was more that I didn't want them ending up as unhappy as me and- I'm fairly certain they would.
I suppose I could understand the question. It's probably a fairly common desire of people of that age. Still, it also made me feel a bit annoyed in a way. Like- that's a potential solution. Have a child. Bring purpose into your life. Like a living, feeling, emotional crutch. What about the child's life?!! Why would it be good for them to have a mother like me? I think I'm being a much better mother leaving my unborn children where they are.
I don't know how common that is really. Especially for women. I've known and known of quite a few women who were almost obsessive about becoming mothers. I suppose also, I was pretty fixated on a career. Plus, I was never attractive enough to have a partner so, the actual practicalities weren't there as an option for me!
I'm curious to know though- how many people here feel that biological drive. If you don't, do you ever wonder why?
Also, as a side note, for those who have chosen not to have children, have you ever found yourself almost having to defend why? That's happened a few times to me. It's made me realise that maybe it isn't all that normal! It's been kind of weird though. Plus, kind of hard to hold back the full anti-natilist reasoning without insulting them.