Help Difficulty getting along with others

[sadstargazer231]

Does anyone else struggle with getting along with others? I have been working my whole life and today was stopped short by a co-worker who told me that she sees me as someone who cannot get along with others and who is "always angry." She told me this while yelling and being unable to lower her voice even when asked calmly. Sadly, I think she is right. I try to be empathic, work hard and share successes, but it just isn't working. I need to keep an income, as others depend on me for housing, but am starting to worry if I can hang on. How do you do it? I could really use your wisdom. Thanks.

 

[Ren Elsie Jewelria]

My word of wisdom is that getting along with self-righteous sheeple is impossible.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I can understand what you are talking about though cannot offer much advice. It can be very hard to please certain people most of the time, and impossible to please everybody at once; it is a mind game. To answer your question: I try to avoid other people when possible. This can minimize the nasty behaviour that you are exposed to.

 

[Rogue Proxy]

Judging by that interaction, you don't seem to have any problems with anger or civility. That aggressive, judgmental cog was clearly in the wrong. It was most likely projecting its baseless insecurities into you, gaslighting, blaming, and lashing out at you simply because you don't have a rictus grin plastered onto your face every waking moment. Most humans will loose their shit over anyone and anything that's a centimeter outside of normality, even if that deviance is completely benign or even beneficial.

 

[sadstargazer231]

Judging by that interaction, you don't seem to have any problems with anger or civility. That aggressive, judgmental cog was clearly in the wrong. It was most likely projecting its baseless insecurities into you, gaslighting, blaming, and lashing out at you simply because you don't have a rictus grin plastered onto your face every waking moment. Most humans will loose their shit over anyone and anything that's a centimeter outside of normality, even if that deviance is completely benign or even beneficial.

Thanks for your kind words. I appreciate your perspective and celebrate this forum for giving me the opportunity for reality testing. I am definitely way more than a centimeter outside of normality,!

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I try to hide behind a mask of cheerfulness and competence. When in reality I am the opposite. On some days it appears that others see right through it. I guess it is just hard to get along with others when you have nothing in common.

The one lesson I've learned in life is that people will treat you as poorly as you will let them. If you show any weakness you will be exploited. That's why I prefer just to isolate myself instead.

 

[Rogue Proxy]

My word of wisdom is that getting along with self-righteous sheeple is impossible.

Unless you're a werewolf. Then you get the pleasure of watching them shiver in their yellow wool.

But seriously, those ovine apes will pull the pettiest excuse to treat you like the shit out of their fluffy asses. That's just how sadistic and pathetic those things are.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

You might be shy and therefore come off as stand-offish or rude. People tend to distrust others like that. Not saying you have to change, but we live in a society where loud and in-your-face is the way to go. You're supposed to ride an emotional rollercoaster, wear your heart on your sleeve, and be outgoing and sociable. If none of that describes you, it's possible you're seen as untrustworthy/sly/manipulative/devious etc. People prefer those who are easy to read. That's how things seem to work unfortunately.

 

[Luchs]

Sorry, I can't give you any advice, I simply ignore unpleasant people (most of them) and just do my work in a borderline dissociated state and then come home and interact with the people I actually care about. I am a very polarizing person, people either love or hate me, and most tend to hate, but they leave me alone because I simply do what I'm told to and leave them alone too.

 

[CogitoMori]

It's really not us honestly. Neurotypicals refuse to simply communicate and use their words to solve a problem. If you're not a mind reader they're mad that they actually have to say what they mean, if you do assume what they mean, they get mad and tell you not to assume things when their communication style relies entirely on assumptions. There's no winning with them.

 

[Pluto]