Discomfort of trying, comfort in pain

[scared:bug]

Discomfort in growing. Discomfort in doing. I read that you have to "go through it". Feel the feelings. Do uncomfortable because comfort=things staying the same. I keep telling myself i need to just go ahead! Just try it for a while! Just be uncomfortable and get out of the past, the guilt, the shame, the pain, the bottomless hole that never is filled, etc etc etc. But i wake up in the morning and i scroll my phone for hours even though last night i totally promised myself that i wouldnt. That i would just deal with the discomfort. Pain is not particularly comfortable? But i think it is. It is strange because i feel as my most genuine, true and real self when i just let go into the pain and dark. All other times i feel like i am lying, pretending. It prevents me from forming connection with other humans. I am trying to learn how to see through thouhts. To discover myself beyond these patterns . But it doesnt feel very genuine. I am tired.

 

[Abandoned Character]

It is a tiring journey.

Little by little, my friend.

 

[une vie grotesque]

in my experience, being in a place of sadness and pain for so long makes you accustomed to these feelings. when you try to get out of it, it feels very uncomfortable and strange, like a new experience but going in blind. you need to try to push through it, you will feel better. fake it till you make it!! as @Abandoned Character said, it is a tiring journey. i feel like it's very worthwhile tho!!