Venting do insults and hurtful jokes even get to you anymore

[annoyed]

it feels redundant to even argue about how people make me feel with certain jokes that trigger my insecurities so i just let people walk over me and say what they want.
it sometimes builds up and i get extremely angry one day and then back to square one.
does anybody understand this? is anybody more comfortable with ideating and planning ctb that nothing or nobody else seems to matter anymore?

 

[Yume Nikki]

it feels redundant to even argue about how people make me feel with certain jokes that trigger my insecurities so i just let people walk over me and say what they want.
it sometimes builds up and i get extremely angry one day and then back to square one.
does anybody understand this? is anybody more comfortable with ideating and planning ctb that nothing or nobody else seems to matter anymore?

Sometimes it gets to me, sometimes it doesn't... it depends on the situation really. I've had people tell me that I should 'off' myself before on online games and in vrchat during arguments and I don't even get phased by it anymore. Like that's essentially what I've been trying to do for years. If anything it gives me a bigger reason to ctb cause of how mean and shitty people can be towards others and not be empathetic about it.

 

[coolgal82]

depends on how i feel at the time, who's saying it, the context theyre saying it in, and what specifically theyre saying.

like if im doing particularly bad or its something im very like insecure about or i like the person it'll probably hurt but like i can ignore it otherwise usually (usually it just doesnt phase me if i dont like the person cus im like "i dont value you as a person why should i value anything you say?" but sometimes idk like when i saw a screenshot of some dickhead i used to know that particularly hit at something im insecure (i guess?) about)

 

[ma0]

It does get to me sometimes, but i've got a really good poker face, so you wouldn't be able to tell.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes but, less than they used to. My mind tends to ruminate on things. What I've tried to become better at is not reacting though. At least, trying not to give them the satisfaction that they've gotten to me.

It depends though. If they seem to have a grievance with me, that will make me worried that I've upset them. Why else would they be doing it? That can be misleading though. Some people are just bullies.

But, if they seem more reasonable, I'll go down the rabbit hole of how we got here. Who said the malicious thing first? Is this actually my fault?

Are they just a bit of a prickly person that gets irritable, triggered and lashes out? In which case, I'll likely avoid them in future!

Seems like an odd thing to say here but, life's too short. I spent great chunks of my childhood walking about on eggshells, terrified I might set a family member off. I don't intend to spend anymore time now doing that.

The thing I absolutely need to learn is not to engage in conversation with people who are full of anger. I've got into it with both incels and pro-lifers here and it just ends up infuriating for both sides. I need to learn to keep away from that kind of stuff from the start because it pretty much always goes the same way. Starts out nice and cordial and polite and ends up in a shitshow when neither party will back down or see it from the other's point of view. I think that's maybe the trick though- avoid the people who likely will end up insulting you where you can.

 

[banger12]

I get what you're saying. I don't have the same exact problem but something somewhat similar.

For starters the feeling that it's redundant and pointless is painfully relatable. Nobody ever wants to hear you out or adjust they're behavior or take criticism. They take offense to the idea that they were rude or did something wrong. It's pointless.

Insults don't exactly bounce off of me, but even though they're more intense and provocative in the moment I prefer them to all the passive-aggressive bullshit I'm surrounded by constantly because at least overtime insults are honest.

Due to a long line of unfortunate circumstances I am homebound (somewhat involuntarily; it's complicated) with the exception of work and I have no IRL social circle so I'm stuck around the same 2 people every day. I try to love them but lately sometimes I feel like I really hate them, which is shitty and it sucks but still. They're very passive aggressive, dishonest about they're own frustrations and how they feel and don't try to understand how my predicament is effecting me.

This is stuff that really used to get me upset but given biting my tongue is a requirement for avoiding homelessness I just bit my tongue until I started feeling numb to all of it. Like in principle I still hate it and if I Dwell on it I feel bothered but I can't bring myself to care when it happens anymore because it's been the norm for so long.

I completely relate to h9e you feel about the futility of trying resolve any of it. You can't reason with people who are being shitty.