Do you also leave hints that could prevent your suicide?

[noname223]

Svlyvia Plath did that. However, she succeeded in killing herself.

I also leave hints. It could be that I kill myself in the next few months. I met my psychiatrist(s) again. They seem to be so clueless. I even told my pcurrent psychiatrist that it was very serious when I had to go to the clnic for acute suicidal people. She seems to be pretty busy and gave an appointment in the mid of next January.
It was the last time I met my old psychiatrist. She told me none of her patients ever committed suicide. She retires this year. I wonder how she will react to my death.

It depends on the mood of large these hints are. Some are tiny, some are bigger. But honestly I think therapists won't do shit if I am not explicit about it.

 

[TragedyBornCrimson]

I don't like hinting or using suicide like that at all, I am not saying you are fyi. I will either do it or won't, no point in getting other people involved, if you do they will begin to resent you or think you are manipulating their feelings.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No. Why the hell would I want my suicide, if I ever were to attempt, to be prevented? Why would a suicidal person even be suicidal if they secretly want their suicide to be prevented?

 

[noname223]

No. Why the hell would I want my suicide, if I ever were to attempt, to be prevented? Why would a suicidal person even be suicidal if they secretly want their suicide to be prevented?

Yes actually that is quite common. I think suicide is way more complex than in your imagination. Ambivalence is very common and is probably a part of Most suicides.

 

[Forever Sleep]

More in terms of- I suggest it's something I'm still open to to just one friend. Not so that they stop me though. More so, that it wouldn't be such a shock. I feel safer talking about it to them though because, they have attempted in the past. That said- they've ignored it when I've mentioned it so- I assume they're not wanting to talk about it now.

Do you think your psychiatrist should be doing more to stop you? Do you want them to?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Isn't there a saying that people who talk about killing themselves won't kill themselves? Or similar? I think once someone said this to me when I was already suicidal and depressed.

I don't see any point in giving hints that I plan to kill myself within a certain time frame if that is the only relief bc everything else failed and recovery is impossible. If I made up my mind and I'm close to the end I wouldn't say anything bc the chance that someone interferes is high. That would only increase and prolong the suffering. For a serious plan, the risk is too high.

I would give hints if there was sth that could actually prevent my suicide, if I had hope for help/treatment and if I expected sth to get back from my hints that would make my situation better.

I hope my thoughts about this make some sense.

 

[noname223]

More in terms of- I suggest it's something I'm still open to to just one friend. Not so that they stop me though. More so, that it wouldn't be such a shock. I feel safer talking about it to them though because, they have attempted in the past. That said- they've ignored it when I've mentioned it so- I assume they're not wanting to talk about it now.

Do you think your psychiatrist should be doing more to stop you? Do you want them to?

Actually, I don't want them to interfere. But a part of me wants that they get a guilty conscience for not treating me better when I am dead.

A part of does not want to Die. Because I think suicide is not a good solution. It is for me the least bad of All evils. I tried ridiculous much to heal and recover though and there is not much hope left.

I think though this ambivalence occurs more often when you actually make a concrete plan about suicide. If your suicidal ideation is only in your head you won't feel that ambivalence. You can reduce suicide to All its positive aspects when it's vague. But actually planning it in Detail, thinking about the Real consequences for your environment that's different. I am not sure how much of it is the survival instinct self-Sabotaging you.

 

[cloudyskye]

Personally I don't see any reason for this unless it's attention or as pp said manipulation. You're taking a chance of being hospitalized or stopped by loved ones why take that risk?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't need to leave hints to prevent my suicide because everyone who knows I'm suicidal knows exactly what needs to be done to prevent it.

Unfortunately for them, the chances of it being prevented are literally 1 in 14,000,605.

 

[swankysoup]

No. Why the hell would I want my suicide, if I ever were to attempt, to be prevented? Why would a suicidal person even be suicidal if they secretly want their suicide to be prevented?

I imagine a lot of people wish they were somehow "saved" so they could keep on living. I mean i personally don't love the idea of dying, i'm just tired of living.

 

[Nobodi]

No I wouldn't. I don't really care if they mourn me or not. I don't even want a funeral. If I could just decompose and give my body to nature that would be better atleast the trees and the plants will get nutriention. Leaving behind hints would only lead them to believe I want attention and it may place a obstacle in place for them to stop me. Silence is golden

 

[noname223]

close friends accepted i'm going to ctb and i don't know how to react

hi, due to unforeseen circumstances, a handful of my super close friends (virtually inseparable), who, for all intents and purposes, are completely mentally healthy, found out about my plan to ctb. there were obviously questions, concerns, and attempts to convince me not to, however, after...

sanctioned-suicide.net

For example here. It gives you a weird feeling if your friends let that happen.

I fully agreed with the following post:

I think secretly we want people, if they were to know our plan, to beg us to stay, to say they love us so much they would go mad if we were to die, that they'd do anything and dedicate all their powers to saving us. Any reaction less than that is a let-down.
On the other hand I do long for a friend with whom I could calmly explain my reasons and have them compassionately understand and accept.
At the end of the day it is a lonely act which goes beyond social connections, whether they are good or bad.

 

[waistcoat]

close friends accepted i'm going to ctb and i don't know how to react

hi, due to unforeseen circumstances, a handful of my super close friends (virtually inseparable), who, for all intents and purposes, are completely mentally healthy, found out about my plan to ctb. there were obviously questions, concerns, and attempts to convince me not to, however, after...

sanctioned-suicide.net

For example here. It gives you a weird feeling if your friends let that happen.

I fully agreed with the following post:

was not expecting to see my posts referenced somewhere else xd~

 

[Forever Sleep]

Actually, I don't want them to interfere. But a part of me wants that they get a guilty conscience for not treating me better when I am dead.

A part of does not want to Die. Because I think suicide is not a good solution. It is for me the least bad of All evils. I tried ridiculous much to heal and recover though and there is not much hope left.

I think though this ambivalence occurs more often when you actually make a concrete plan about suicide. If your suicidal ideation is only in your head you won't feel that ambivalence. You can reduce suicide to All its positive aspects when it's vague. But actually planning it in Detail, thinking about the Real consequences for your environment that's different. I am not sure how much of it is the survival instinct self-Sabotaging you.

Definitely. I think passive ideation is very different to active ideation. I haven't been anywhere near attempting so, I don't know what I'm going to go through, but I have a good enough imagination to believe I'll be terrified.

 

[XdragonsoulX]

I give subtle blatant hints to those closest to me, using the term subtle loosely as I've told them true feelings, but to those people who are just around like coworkers and friends they know something is wrong but they don't know the depths of it. Nobody has seemed to care enough besides to ask if I'm taking my medicine.

 

[I_go_in]

Honestly that seems more like manipulation. I would feel like somebody who wants to end their life for real would want to end the suffering and not try to involve others for…. whatever reason.

 

[witchcraft]

Hmm... Just to offer a possible alternative explanation I haven't seen mentioned so far:

It could be a cry for help, but they want to be helped by someone who really cares. Someone who picks up their hints because they understand. Someone to give them hope that they are worth saving, and that it's possible to save them. It's a Hail Mary play.

-

Personally, when I say that I'm going to kill myself in response to something going on in my life, it's mostly me trying to convince or encourage myself. Because I can't take the pain anymore, and I'm so tired of being too afraid to end my life. I'm tired of being strung along and abused by hope that "it will get better" or some bullshit. I'm tired of life using hope to toy with my emotions. So why can't I just fucking die already. I can't take suffering in this shitty limbo anymore.

So if I mention CTB in front of other people, either anonymously online or maybe in a group chat or something, part of me is just trying to talk myself into it.

It might be interpreted as "dropping a hint" or "emotional manipulation" by other people, but the fact of the matter is, I don't know a single person in my life who can help me. There's nothing they can do. There's nothing they can say. What am I going to "manipulate" them into doing for me, if there is nothing they can do for me? They can't actually stop me. They also can't do anything to fucking help me.

Truth is, I'm struggling to silently carry the burden of how badly I want to die, struggling to keep the unbearable suffering bottled-up. It slips out of my mouth, or mind, but not with any intention of "hinting" or "manipulating."

Does a tiny, microscopic piece of me hope that if I slip-up and mention something to just the right person, in just the right place, at just the right time, that a miracle will be performed? Of course, that microscopic (but also very strong) piece of me is called SI.

But no, I don't seriously expect or believe that I will be fortunate enough to be saved by a miracle. It's over for me, and SI is nothing more than the ego.

 

[cloudyskye]

I see what you're saying. I would add manipulation doesn't always mean you're trying to get things from people . Some people just like the feeling of power they get from making others feel certain ways. I.e. they know it causes their mom stress and anxiety when they bring it up so they bring it up when they want the reaction or to punish. I get constantly trying to find the courage to die but I don't see how telling random people would help.

 

[witchcraft]

I see what you're saying. I would add manipulation doesn't always mean you're trying to get things from people . Some people just like the feeling of power they get from making others feel certain ways. I.e. they know it causes their mom stress and anxiety when they bring it up so they bring it up when they want the reaction or to punish. I get constantly trying to find the courage to die but I don't see how telling random people would help.

I can agree with that. I am totally powerless, at least to do anything productive or positive.

And to be honest, part of it is that it's nice knowing NPCs suffer. I'm tired of feeling like I'm the only one suffering.

Here, in this community, I don't have to act like that (thankfully). Nobody is here to hide their suffering. It's something that can be shared. I need only look in the nearest thread to be reminded that I'm not alone.

 

[vitbar]

Attempts that are likely to fail (usually with hints, or other forms of sabotage) can be a coping mechanism. The crisis that brought them to that point being defused after. People going through this cycle of attempts might not consciously realise the dynamic.

Isn't there a saying that people who talk about killing themselves won't kill themselves? Or similar? I think once someone said this to me when I was already suicidal and depressed.

I see things the same as you for the most part. If I had firmly decided then I'd try and make sure nobody could tell. At the same time people toying with their life as a cry for help, or to manage their emotions, run the risk of actually killing themselves. I wonder if they are at times more likely to succeed as SI could be moderated by the intent to survive.

 

[willow115]

I say it outright these days so people are prepared. Physically, no one can stop me and none of the handful of people I speak to would call the cops. They'd just let me go, I've been suffering too long.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Yes. I have told every family member that I plan to do it. And one day I will stop crying wolf.

 

[TheHolySword]

One person knows that I'm going to, whether they want to believe it or not (they won't do anything to stop me or notify anyone so I'm not worried about that). I've made my intentions fairly clear to another person but they've given up caring about me so that doesn't matter. My younger brother knows that I want to but not that I'm going to (and he never will). Aside from that, no one has a clue. I don't leave hints because this has to be final. I can't risk anyone picking up even the slightest possibility. If I fail this time it will be incredibly difficult to make another attempt for a long time

 

[Gstreater]

I'm not sure if this counts but I joke about me dying and death a lot.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Svlyvia Plath did that. However, she succeeded in killing herself.

I also leave hints. It could be that I kill myself in the next few months. I met my psychiatrist(s) again. They seem to be so clueless. I even told my pcurrent psychiatrist that it was very serious when I had to go to the clnic for acute suicidal people. She seems to be pretty busy and gave an appointment in the mid of next January.
It was the last time I met my old psychiatrist. She told me none of her patients ever committed suicide. She retires this year. I wonder how she will react to my death.

It depends on the mood of large these hints are. Some are tiny, some are bigger. But honestly I think therapists won't do shit if I am not explicit about it.

This would assume leaving hints means people are going to give a shit. They don't. Really truly people either are incapable or just simply don't give a fuck.

 

[Warlord's Pulse]

I give hints, but not for "preventing my death", it's more like "predictive programming"

 

[cazza82]

I told my counsilior because I needed to let it out I couldn't keep it in any longer all those dark thoughts going around my head it certainly wasn't for attention it's quite dangerous to think that the people who talk about killing themselves to others are the ones that never do it .i don't think I want to die but I can't stop these thoughts daily and with my depression and anxiety the pain of getting up everyday going to work having to fake it is unbearable. I actually told my drugs worker to and they did nothing why because I look ok put together as long as they have known me I've been stable so because I'm not an absolute mess and I look ok which means I git good at putting on a front till I no longer could

 

[Emeralds]

I don't. There's no point. I 'm either going to do it or I'm not. There's no point in involving other people. If I decide to do it, I don't want anyone to stop me. I also don't want anyone to look back and feel guilty that they should have done something because I kept dropping hints. If I don't do it, there's no point in having worried people.