to me my Death is a reward. i couldn't care less what another human does . we all will die anyway.
i mean Death which is non-existence forever. i don't mean "dying" when you are still alive and "dying" that could be painful and i want to avoid pain . pain is not a reward to me . only a living brain can produce pain. i mean 1 micro-second after my brain dies that's the best reward i could get eternal non-existence: all my problems solved instantly and forever, no pain no problems no suffering no bad memories ever and i get out of this horrible life
I can't separate the pleasurable garbage addictions from the worst torture imaginable. these are both part of life . the intensity and constant long duration of extreme suffering and extreme pain far outweighs any pleasurable garbage bs addiction. what is worth 1 hour of the worst constant worst pain ? what is worth 6 hours of the worst pain, a week, a year? nothing
imo there is pain so bad a few seconds of it make everything else meaningless .
I don't think i nor any human is immune from many of the many extremely horrible things that can happen.
I don't see any objective reason to work 15 hours per day a job and chores to do lists only to decay get old and exist under threat of extreme torture
To me there is no reason why i have to live or have to want to live in the first place. nothing matters except avoiding unbearable pain and extreme suffering.
nothing matters to me only avoiding pain, suffering problems and my suicide asap . nothing matters. what will matter in 200 years, what that we do today will matter in 10,000 years. what will matter in a trilion years ? nothing.
This is all only my opinion. warning below :i will talk about tortures that i think can happen .
a relatively minor thing : i cut my finger . i can't believe the pain all the world goes away for a few seconds of the searing pain, the addictions don't matter then. how can pain be this bad ? how can something so horrible as pain exist. why does this exist , evolution programmed pain into animals for example pain of starvation to make the animal seek food only to replicate it's genes. it's a horrific accident of chaos and chemistry a nightmare beyond belief , a million trillion animals tortured most dying by being eaten alive by other animals parasites bacteria : where is the empathy for these and the billion of humans DNA based life has tortured from the "life is beautiful" crowd?
This is what life is to me : imagine you get a brain stroke at age 60 . then you get put into a nursing home . then they forget or neglect to turn you in bed so you develop incurable incurable incurable skin sores all over your skin. so you are in constant unbearable pain. then of course it's very difficult to sleep with the constant unbearable pain. so you are in unbearable pain that you can't move away from can't escape a second. plus not being able to sleep is a unimaginable nightmare by itself. so you manage to yell out "please kill me please " . Nurse "we can do that it;s a crime for one thing life is beautiful and sacred be grateful you are alive ". so then this torture continues for 30 years from age 60 to 90 until finally the body dies. every second for 30 years of the most unbearable pain.
Think this is implausible? I worked in a nursing home . here a Doctor describes working in a nursing home and says this is likely :
[Trigger warning: Death, pain, suffering, sadness] I. Some people, having completed the traditional forms of empty speculation – “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, “…
slatestarcodex.com
to me non-existence is the best thing by a trillion times because it's the opposite of the evil imposition life , evil pain ,evil suffering. non-existence forever is the only guarantee of never suffering and is the only absolute perfection. if one is locked in a torture dungeon and you find a way to escape and you escape out of the dungeon into peace and freedom how is that new state of freedom not a reward ?
