• If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
  • Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

  • Security update: At around 2:28AM EST, the site was labeled as malicious by Google erroneously, causing users to get a "Dangerous site" warning in most browsers. It appears that this was done by mistake and has been reversed by Google. It may take a few hours for you to stop seeing those warnings.

    If you're still getting these warnings, please let a member of staff know.
Anonymoususer1234

Anonymoususer1234

Experienced
Apr 13, 2023
216
I keep going scrolling through certain tags on social media even though I know they'll make me angry/anxious/ashamed/generally upset.

It almost feels...hypnotic. I don't know why I keep doing it.

Does anyone else do the same thing/something similar or is it just me?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Celerity and winamp
soonatpeace777888

soonatpeace777888

Specialist
Jul 4, 2023
349
My brain is addicted to pain, which is why I hate it and myself.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Anonymoususer1234
HighFlight

HighFlight

Global Mod
Jun 28, 2023
667
I do, but don't know why. I don't get upset over it, but just watch and scroll unemotionally. And it's getting worse, where I'm spending more time doing it. Can't stop...
 
  • Like
Reactions: Anonymoususer1234
enough of this

enough of this

Specialist
Jun 4, 2023
382
I try to avoid anything like that.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Anonymoususer1234
Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,733
Yes, I think it's because we're driven to try to learn something from our bad experiences, even if very often there is nothing to be learned. Our mind goes over a past experiences again and again and again hoping for a new insight that never comes or reexamines a frightening possibility in the hope that it can be avoided. It doesn't need to be an exact match for our mind to find it engaging; it just needs to tap into the same emotional threads.

Back when I had a lot of unresolved childhood trauma from abuse/neglect by the adults in my life, I used to be captivated by harrowing stories about abuses of power and sadism. Even though they understandably depressed me, I was drawn to them nonetheless.

This and other experiences in life suggest to me that seeking happiness is not actually a primary instinctual drive. The human mind seems much better suited to focus on negative rather than positive stimuli since it arguably aided survival in our dangerous evolutionary past. I see this phenomenon you're talking about as an extension of this instinct.

That's my theory anyway.
 
busybee

busybee

Experienced
Jul 5, 2023
209
I do. When I am upset I don't feel as empty.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Anonymoususer1234
Zebulon

Zebulon

The loneliness is killing me
Jul 30, 2023
125
I talk to people whom I know will make me unhappy, because the have everything figured out and cant understand our struggles
 
  • Like
Reactions: enough of this
W

winamp

Enlightened
May 20, 2023
1,349
absolutely it's just another form of self harm for me but sometimes I do it/seek out upsetting things without knowing it
 
  • Like
Reactions: Anonymoususer1234

Similar threads

kenma0
Replies
17
Views
412
Suicide Discussion
FireFox
FireFox
J
Replies
9
Views
261
Recovery
Jack_Nimble
J
Too_Many_Years
Replies
11
Views
373
Suicide Discussion
egg_an
E
socrates.
Replies
2
Views
132
Recovery
broken_stoic
broken_stoic