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TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Illuminated
Aug 27, 2018
3,049
I am curious since I am my mothers first born child, do you love your first born more I need to know if it will be harder on her to lose her first born child.
 
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K

kkatt

Paragon
Nov 12, 2018
967
I have two children.
Explaining maternal love is difficult. Often I don't even really like my kids. But there's always that instinctive love where I'd take a bullet for them without a second thought.
I absolutely do NOT love the first born more. But there is a particular connection that I just can't express in words.
He was the one that made me into a functioning "woman" as opposed to a girl. Essentially, my life was no longer mine to do as I choose- I had become XXXXX's mom and everything I did would have an impact on the person they would become. Of course,this all applies to subsequent children too. But everything just changes overnight with the first.
I can't speak for "mothers" in general-only my own understanding.
In short, NO, I don't love my first born more. But they will always be special.
 
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Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
I am curious since I am my mothers first born child, do you love your first born more I need to know if it will be harder on her to lose her first born child.
Nah, I'll bet it doesn't matter which child is lost unless u are the golden child. If u are in a toxic family where some kids are golden children or scapegoats. Golden child can do no wrong, scapegoats can do no right lol!
 
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CFLoser

CFLoser

I fcking hate myself
Dec 5, 2018
609
Nah, I'll bet it doesn't matter which child is lost unless u are the golden child. If u are in a toxic family where some kids are golden children or scapegoats. Golden child can do no wrong, scapegoats can do no right lol!
I don't really understand the whole golden child and scapegoat concept. Probably because I didn't really experience it. I don't really interact with my family a lot at all, we all kind of have our own lives. Even when we were kids.

Is there anywhere to read about this so I can better understand that concept?
 
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Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
I don't really understand the whole golden child and scapegoat concept. Probably because I didn't really experience it. I don't really interact with my family a lot at all, we all kind of have our own lives. Even when we were kids.

Is there anywhere to read about this so I can better understand that concept?
If you go on YouTube there's tons of videos dedicated to this stuff. Just type in narcissism
 
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J

JustAboutDone

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2019
3,532
Nah, I'll bet it doesn't matter which child is lost unless u are the golden child. If u are in a toxic family where some kids are golden children or scapegoats. Golden child can do no wrong, scapegoats can do no right lol!

I totally agree with this @Final Escape it's scary to be in this kind of family. You get the Golden Children, the Scape Goat and the Overlooked - the quieter one that get abused and bullied and no one notices or bats an eyelid.
 
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K

kkatt

Paragon
Nov 12, 2018
967
My brother is a textbook narcissist. The awful things he's done to his family are too many to mention.
I've initiated complete no contact with him.
However,if you have to communicate with a narcissist in your life, check out "Grey rock".
It's a technique that prevents them from drawing you into the drama they crave.
 
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FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,782
Sorry in advance for the tongue-in-cheek reply: I love all my children so very much that I never had them.
 
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