• Light/Dark
  • If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
  • Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

  • Security update: At around 2:28AM EST, the site was labeled as malicious by Google erroneously, causing users to get a "Dangerous site" warning in most browsers. It appears that this was done by mistake and has been reversed by Google. It may take a few hours for you to stop seeing those warnings.

    If you're still getting these warnings, please let a member of staff know.

Do you have any plans for the future?

SipSop

SipSop

Arcanist
May 7, 2020
483
I'm off my meds, the sedative effect on me is wearing off and I can think and feel properly now. I am affraid to do something to myself for 2 reasons: I begin to have hope again and fear of being locked up again in a institution like psych ward.
The trouble is that I am on a rollercoaster, now I'm high, now I'm low. My motivation might betray me the next moment.
But I really want make my mom proud as she was the only one to be by my side honestly. Even if I do not understand why, I will call it mathernal insinct.
So I want to build a business to make some money and hopefully to share it with her. Maybe have my own family.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: voyager, BitterlyAlive, strand and 2 others
Iamnotperminant92

Iamnotperminant92

Alien visitor
May 4, 2020
54
Hoping to move out of Michigan, somewhere without much snow/ice in winter and better public transport (SAD, unable to drive due to vision issues.)

Move out of my mothers home and start my MTF transition, open a business. Find a good partner and start a family.

I'm not particularly hopeful really. I'll probably CTB before any of it.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: voyager, Supersadmommy90 and SipSop
SipSop

SipSop

Arcanist
May 7, 2020
483
Iamnotperminant92 said:
Hoping to move out of Michigan, somewhere without much snow/ice in winter and better public transport (SAD, unable to drive due to vision issues.)

Move out of my mothers home and start my MTF transition, open a business. Find a good partner and start a family.

I'm not particularly hopeful really. I'll probably CTB before any of it.
Click to expand...
Thank you for sharing. I hope you get to see at least some of it. Good luck!
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Iamnotperminant92
P

Pallf

I'm tired
May 27, 2018
358
Get a degree, hopefully go to law school and get a J.D., start my own firm, make bank, take pro bono cases whenever I can, get married, start a family.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Supersadmommy90, SipSop and Yomyom
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
If I don't ctb, then I want to get my degree in either computer science or video game design and create a successful video game.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: strand, Supersadmommy90, SipSop and 2 others
Myforevercharlie

Myforevercharlie

Global Mod
Feb 13, 2020
3,184
Actually i have a fantastic idea. Just need to work out the details. Ill get back to this :happy:
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: voyager, SipSop and Yomyom
oneess

oneess

Die in my sleep
May 5, 2019
46
To get a degree and fly to Japan, probably the only dream I have honestly. I just hope I reach a day it will happen, but I'm really afraid of the "what comes next" phase that will probably kick my ass.
 
  • Like
Reactions: voyager and SipSop
BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

Visionary
Dec 1, 2019
2,361
oneess said:
To get a degree and fly to Japan, probably the only dream I have honestly. I just hope I reach a day it will happen, but I'm really afraid of the "what comes next" phase that will probably kick my ass.
Click to expand...
I was supposed to have gone to Japan april 21st but corona saw that that dream died. Kinda sums up everything. I used to have dreams and ambitions. To go back to school, have a family, a home.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
  • Like
Reactions: voyager, SipSop and oneess
oneess

oneess

Die in my sleep
May 5, 2019
46
BPD Barbie said:
was supposed to have gone to Japan april 21st but corona saw that that dream died. Kinda sums up everything
Click to expand...

I feel you, I was supposed to fly to Japan in December 2018, had my ticket and everything planned, got to the airport and when they checked my passport there was a problem, two days before the country opened a case against me because of a debt I owed my previous bank(little sum of money honestly) and I had a warrant that forbid me from exiting my country. I was so damn close.
 
  • Aww..
  • Wow
Reactions: voyager, SipSop and BPD Barbie
Golden-Ivory

Golden-Ivory

If you stare into the abyss, The abyss stares back
May 1, 2020
20
Learn Spanish, Move to argentina, Make tons of new friends i hope and continue working on digital art.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: voyager, Deleted member 14573, SipSop and 1 other person
a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
No ... Which has been my problem for the last twenty-five years.
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: voyager, Oyoy and Mr2005
SipSop

SipSop

Arcanist
May 7, 2020
483
BPD Barbie said:
I was supposed to have gone to Japan april 21st but corona saw that that dream died. Kinda sums up everything. I used to have dreams and ambitions. To go back to school, have a family, a home.
Click to expand...
Why Japan? Did you planned? Can you tell me something about it?
I was interested too in my past.
 
A

attell2

Member
Jan 16, 2020
35
SipSop said:
I'm off my meds, the sedative effect on me is wearing off and I can think and feel properly now. I am affraid to do something to myself for 2 reasons: I begin to have hope again and fear of being locked up again in a institution like psych ward.
The trouble is that I am on a rollercoaster, now I'm high, now I'm low. My motivation might betray me the next moment.
But I really want make my mom proud as she was the only one to be by my side honestly. Even if I do not understand why, I will call it mathernal insinct.
So I want to build a business to make some money and hopefully to share it with her. Maybe have my own family.
Click to expand...
I totally relate. I'm tending toward "nothing to lose" and just pushing forward to see what happens. I don't get why we're here, but for some reason it seems like an opportunity. I imagine that many people don't see it that way for good reason
 
  • Like
Reactions: SipSop
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
I had big plans for the future but that was in the past and it never came to be. There's nothing left
 
  • Like
Reactions: SipSop
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Not much to talk about. I either live with it or I don't. My failure to act has cost me fifteen years.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: voyager
SipSop

SipSop

Arcanist
May 7, 2020
483
Mr2005 said:
Not much to talk about. I either live with it or I don't. My failure to act has cost me fifteen years.
Click to expand...
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: strand and Mr2005
a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
@attell2 I imagine that many people don't see it that way for good reason

what do you mean? for what good reason?
 
strand

strand

Member
Apr 11, 2020
45
Get through college, move to another country (one that's got a lot of snow), find a job that fulfills me, bring my mother there. I just want a solitary life, but even that's getting harder and harder.
 
  • Like
Reactions: SipSop and Mr2005
BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

Visionary
Dec 1, 2019
2,361
SipSop said:
Why Japan? Did you planned? Can you tell me something about it?
I was interested too in my past.
Click to expand...
I love the history and architecture in Asia. Also a huge anime fan.
 
  • Love
Reactions: SipSop
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

---
Apr 8, 2020
1,635
My only plan is take some diagnostic tests. I can't picture anything else right now. :/
 
  • Like
Reactions: SipSop
BitterlyAlive

BitterlyAlive

---
Apr 8, 2020
1,635
SipSop said:
What you want to find out with the test?
Click to expand...
If what I've been dealing with is more than simple anxiety and depression. Not that they're not complex issues... But I worry that I have something "more" like a personality disorder. It could be the trauma that psychologists have said I have...but I don't think I'm that traumatized. I dunno.

I don't know what I'll do after the tests. I really don't.
 
  • Like
Reactions: SipSop
SipSop

SipSop

Arcanist
May 7, 2020
483
BitterlyAlive said:
If what I've been dealing with is more than simple anxiety and depression. Not that they're not complex issues... But I worry that I have something "more" like a personality disorder. It could be the trauma that psychologists have said I have...but I don't think I'm that traumatized. I dunno.

I don't know what I'll do after the tests. I really don't.
Click to expand...
I see, thank you for sharing.
 
SipSop

SipSop

Arcanist
May 7, 2020
483
BitterlyAlive said:
No problem. I hope it was an alright answer. :/
Click to expand...
It was alright. From my point of view we should be able to express ourselves and to attempt to connect with others. If we said what we wanted to say then that is is just fine.
I think this is the purpose and benefits of this website.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

futurebuscatcher
Discussion Suicide prep/plans i have.
Replies
2
Views
324
Suicide Discussion
futurebuscatcher
futurebuscatcher
A
Have you noticed that the fantasy of suicide is very different from the reality?
Replies
24
Views
559
Suicide Discussion
affirmatice
A
norain
Story Goodbye, I'm off to do CTB
Replies
19
Views
1K
Suicide Discussion
cicatrezESP
cicatrezESP
A
Hey, it’s been a while
Replies
1
Views
100
Recovery
timf
T
-nobodyknows-
Reminiscing about the past, and trying to hope for the future
Replies
0
Views
105
Suicide Discussion
-nobodyknows-
-nobodyknows-
Top Bottom