Discussion Do you still truly want things or, is it just a matter of passing the time the nicest way?

[Forever Sleep]

Would you say you still have strong desires or goals in life? It can be for anything- finding love, career ambitions, desire to travel, sports, interests, hobbies whatever. Or, is it more a case that you feel stuck here for now but you still try to get through via the things that maybe used to interest you? Or- is it more that you have goals but feel they are utterly out of reach?

I think I realised my ultimate goals were in part out of reach but also that maybe they wouldn't make me all that happy ultimately. I've also lost a lot of my ambition or desire for things in life. Not exactly anhedonia. I am still capable of enjoying things. I just can't be bothered to do them so much now! Plus the ratio of earning money to do them vs. spending it is just ridiculously lop sided.

Really though- it feels like- when you don't even particularly want things in life- and sustaining it is just an uphill struggle. I mean- the conclusion is pretty obvious- no? Why am I bothering? I know why for me- it's to not upset my Dad but, beyond that, I wonder just how quickly common sense will lead me to do what I need to to get the hell out of dodge!

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Or- is it more that you have goals but feel they are utterly out of reach?

It's exactly this.

Everything is out of reach. Well, not 100% out of reach, but I would have to put a lot of effort into it with uncertain outcome and risks to fail again. I don't have the will and energy to do that. At least not rn and in the foreseeable future.

 

[GoSan1]

It's complicated. The full goal can't exist in this world. Part of it is achievable with maybe a blessing of luck, but even that part of the goal probably wouldn't make me want to live. So, since my goals can't be reached here, I have lost all meaning of living...

 

[Reflection]

I have interests, goals, ambitions etc... it's just that my pain makes it all go to shit.

 

[ScaredOfMachines]

I don't have goals anymore, my dreams being shattered is a big reason of why I'm here. My interests are mainly just there to pass the time. I do get really invested in them, but it's all just temporary happiness until the time I can CTB rolls around.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I could never want anything in this evil life

Nothing could be objectively important good or valuable

My only rational goal is my suicide asap

Romantic love , having children etc are to me the most ridiculous abominations

I only want to avoid pain and to get to non-existence asap, to never exist again. After Death I'll cease to exist for all time and that is what Is rational to me

 

[SilentSadness]

I have many desires but they are pure fantasy, they would just never happen in this world of suffering.

 

[alienfreak]

There's nothing I care about. It's all completely meaningless. Even if i suddenly achieved some sort of grand fantastical goal i bet the reality of it would be unsatisfying.

 

[four_walls_girl]

I still kinda wanna complete my goal of getting every single piece of official merch for my special interest/ comfort character (Aizawa Shouta from mha.) that's the more fun one that just makes me happy for a little bit at least.

My main goal though is more I want to be good enough at making crochet, knitted and sewn clothes so I can have really cutesy aesthetic fits that I actual enjoy wearing.

Shame that both of these take money and time and one needs me to have a body I actually like.


Passive goals like learning Japanese enough to be fluent and going to Japan still interest me from more of a distance, and there's some times I get a little bit of motivation? or at least the thought of picking it up again, but that's just not reasonable for me to stick to honestly.

I'm a perfectionist but not a good completonist, though I do want to be. Sadly I've always been someone who starts something but never finishes/ quits when it gets too hard. That's just who I'll always be I guess. So most of my goals now are just daydreams that probably won't ever happen.

 

[etherealspring]

nope and i have no idea y im still here

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Or, is it more a case that you feel stuck here for now but you still try to get through via the things that maybe used to interest you?

Definitely this. I am utterly ambitionless, and have no plans/hopes/dreams for the future except dying. My soulmate could walk through the door right now and confess his undying love for me and it still wouldn't be enough, I still wouldn't want to live. Because even in that scenario, I'd have to exist. Even in that scenario, I'd have to wake up everyday.

Similarly to you, this doesn't mean that I can't have any positive experiences in the future, or that I can't find some mild enjoyment in life. It just means that all of those experiences will be nothing but a footnote in an already completed book.

 

[leavingsoonx]

All hope is lost for me. All I can do is pretend to be a person until my method arrives.

I don't care about any goals in life. I wasn't meant to have any of what makes people normal or happy. Even if I wanted them with all my heart, I could never ever be able to do it.

Knowing I don't even want to have a job, can't go out and make friends, can't hook up, can't do anything makes me know it's time to go.

 

[outrider567]

I don't want anything

 

[Lost Magic]

Killing time, for now! There's no point in suffering needlessly if you can avoid certain triggers.

 

[charcoalcat]

Yes I want things. But I'm also rational and introspective enough to know the probability of securing the things I want is astronomically low. It's like lottery, people buy it but innately they know they will not win it.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

Unfortunately, I've become completely anhedonic. It's kind of scary actually, to realize how dead I actually am.

 

[SoulCage]

I remember when my therapist asked me that question and I said I have nothing. I had things in the past and I believed that they would make me happy, but guess what - I failed to keep them in my life either because I was too unstable or because it turned out to not be what I imagined.
I can't stop thinking about all the things I lost and knowing that if I try again then I would just fail again. It's pointless.
I believe that's the main reason why I am not interested anymore in trying to find a place (hobby, work, social circle, whatever) where I "belong". It's not worth investing so much energy, pain or money and then just lose it again.
I just do distractions, meaning I also don't have complete anhedonia. I am able to interest myself to watch shows or gaming, but only because they distract me from my hopelessness and anger issues. It still works.

 

[affirmatice]

I want something that's unattainable.

Everything else that a human should typically enjoy, money, relationship, fun.

Mean very little

 

[pariah80]

Not really goals. Just trying things that I never got to because I never had the opportunity. I'm taking up boxing. It's actually fun. Of course, it's not going to go anywhere as far as competing or anything. I just always wanted to learn a martial art. I've decided that I'm going to ctb at a high vibration. I gave this life all I had, and I'm going to pass with a peaceful and happy soul. I didn't deserve the evil and negativity visited upon me. I'm not going to let this life break me. So, I'm just doing things to keep my vibration high.

 

[Defenestration]

0 ambition...just guilty about family if ctb..afraid of fail ctb.
I just love to take opioids

 

[pariah80]

I want something that's unattainable.

Everything else that a human should typically enjoy, money, relationship, fun.

Mean very little

This life can't give me the things I want. Even the love, money, and fun are all an illusion.

 

[destinationlosangel]

Would you say you still have strong desires or goals in life? It can be for anything- finding love, career ambitions, desire to travel, sports, interests, hobbies whatever. Or, is it more a case that you feel stuck here for now but you still try to get through via the things that maybe used to interest you? Or- is it more that you have goals but feel they are utterly out of reach?

I think I realised my ultimate goals were in part out of reach but also that maybe they wouldn't make me all that happy ultimately. I've also lost a lot of my ambition or desire for things in life. Not exactly anhedonia. I am still capable of enjoying things. I just can't be bothered to do them so much now! Plus the ratio of earning money to do them vs. spending it is just ridiculously lop sided.

Really though- it feels like- when you don't even particularly want things in life- and sustaining it is just an uphill struggle. I mean- the conclusion is pretty obvious- no? Why am I bothering? I know why for me- it's to not upset my Dad but, beyond that, I wonder just how quickly common sense will lead me to do what I need to to get the hell out of dodge!

The main point that I 100% resonate with is that its too much work that I just cant be bothered. Becoming suicidal has led to a few good things tho. I used to restrict myself from eating fast food and would be on a strict diet and such. I didnt play video games or watch tv shows. Now I do whatever the fuck i want. I got a new console to play some video games on. It sucks because before this i was one super goal oriented type of guy.

 

[Darkover]

Self-mastery is the process of gaining control over your own mind, emotions, actions, and reactions in a way that allows you to direct your life with intention and purpose. It involves refining and understanding your inner workings, such as your thoughts, feelings, and impulses, and learning how to manage or redirect them to serve your larger goals and values. This kind of control is not about suppression but about being aware of your internal states and learning how to respond in ways that align with your desired path.

 

[resteasy3232]

I have goals, but I doubt they are possible. A lot feels unattainable for me, but I think it may be possible one day if I get that chance.

 

[Failed.Angel]

I think at this point nothing. The things I want/wanted would still make me happy but I have not the money or resources to do.
I would like to have planted lots of trees that would last for more generations and live in a cold village like place where the winter snows and I could go to metal and goth concerts more. And other things, but in general I have no way to do it and I am getting older and sicker both in mind and physically.


This last Wednesday I have finished my last piece of things to do and now I am planning when to CTB

 

[rozeske]

I used to have goals and dreams not so long a go, interests, things that made me really happy. Now, none whatsoever. I'm just waiting for the day I get to catch my bus.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I never had any goals or interests to begin with. Everything that I do is done out of obligation rather than choice. Me going to school, college, university etc weren't choices but rather obligations. I don't understand as to why people think that these are choices rather than obligations. To me, I only want death, everything else is an obligation

 

[Moniker]

I'm not sure tbh. I've spent a year as a NEET who lives off of his mom's finances in exchange for housekeeping. I think of pursuing goals sometimes. I'd like to write a book, go to law school, find love, maybe some other stuff.

It always feels that I'm just walking towards death either way. I think fear is the only thing that keeps me alive. I've taken some measures to make life more bearable in the long run (dieting, exercise, and staying sober), but I'm mostly just sleep walking through life. I tend to relapse on my old habits a lot too.

I think about love a lot. That's probably the big thing that would push me away from self-harm. However, I look at the larger world and find it hard to like, much less love, anyone in it. Even if somebody loved someone as awful as me, I doubt I'd feel the same. Maybe I'm just incapable of loving people. There's always that feeling of "What if?" in the back of my mind though.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Everything is out of reach for me too. But I'm living of off wishful thinking and the drive to watch someone I love's life play out instead. Maybe I will eventually get where I want to on the way, or find a door has opened that was closed before.

 

[hereornot]

Time is unbeatable. There are things that are no use wanting anymore because there isn't enough time to win back what was lost. Even more so with external obstacles.

So I don't even think about everything I once wanted.