do you think anyone has ever been at peace with their upcoming suicide?

[SufferingInDenmark]

excluding sanctioned suicide clinics, because they have therapists and stuff there, to guide you through the whole thing, essentially.

i'm asking because i saw a clip of the korean singer Sulli. from her live stream.
and someone in the comments said she looked at peace, because at that time she had already decided to end her own life soon.
(in the commenter's opinion)

 

[L'absent]

The calm before suicide is not a coincidence, but the reflection of a profound relief. After a life of torment, doubts, and the exhausting struggle of dragging oneself through each day, making a final decision can bring an unexpected serenity. The weight of uncertainty disappears, leaving space for the awareness that everything is about to end: the pain, the expectations, the disappointments.
However, this calm is not universal. Not everyone experiences it, and the reason is simple: it depends on the type of suicide they are about to commit. When a person chooses a method with the highest guarantee of lethality, immediacy, and absence of suffering, suicide becomes a certainty—and certainty brings peace. On the other hand, those who choose an uncertain method, where there is a risk of failure or prolonged agony, remain trapped in fear and anxiety until the very last moment. This is the difference: those who know they will not fail let go with relief, while those who fear unpredictability remain in distress.

It is not a paradox—it is a simple truth: suicide, when it is a conscious and definitive choice, can bring the first and only true peace a person has ever known.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'd be at peace if I had the option to just permanently cease existing and never suffer ever again, I'd be so relieved to be free from the futile, torturous burden of human existence that I never wished for and never would had chosen, non-existence is all I personally see as desirable. Ceasing to exist would solve everything for me in an existence that just causes all this suffering all for the sake of it, for me existence itself is the true problem and the thought of suffering until old age is really terrifying and horrific to me especially as there is no limit as to how much one can be tortured in this existence that just leads to decay and death anyway.

 

[blacksand]

Absolutely from what I've experienced the pre suicide euphoria is real. Back in September 2022 I committed 100% to it before the end of the year and spent October to December in one of the most euphoric states of my life. I was working outside during this time (in the southern hemisphere spring) and the heat added to my happiness I would weedeat lawns for hours while literally whistling and grinning ear to ear.

Parked up by a bridge on Dec 25 with a handgun in hand I was only interrupted by a random phone call from a friend I had not spoken to for 10 years who had tracked my number down. This interrupted my suicide high to the point I delayed it a week and then a second attempt on NYE with a train failed due to SI. I've been at baseline for 2 years since then and haven't been actively suicidal except for occasional spur of the moment attempts while drunk with drug overdoses and playing with guns.

I'm actually incredibly nostalgic for that pre suicide high and I hope the next time I'm 100% committed that the euphoria will be back.

 

[Forveleth]

This is pretty common. One of the "danger signs" someone is suicidal is their depression suddenly seeming to go away. For some people, the decision brings peace and relief.

 

[rozeske]

Yes. It's the immense relief of finally deciding to just let go. Feels much better than the pain of holding on.
It can look like a scary calm to those around you.

 

[Regen]

Hard to say. Without fear, it may be more possible under very impulsive circumstances. I can imagine being cognitively at peace, but I don't know whether it will also feel emotionally peaceful when it actually happens.

I myself have never been at peace and never will be, my SI is very strong and my fear of physical problems is even stronger. It would be nice to have a companion. But of course this is also a great burden for others.