Do you want that people talk about your story? Do you want that people learn from it?

[noname223]

I am not sure. I am conflicted between wanting to be forgotten, that my friends think of me sometimes and that I am example of what happens when children get bullied and abused.

 

[Seele]

I think it's very subjective, it depends on what you truly want. I can't say much because I don't know your beliefs, but I write because I have the urge to convey an idea or reflect on it in my own life. Deep down, I know that death marks the end of any story. It doesn't matter whether anyone will read what I write or not; in the end, it would almost be a whim to want to leave something behind."

 

[the deadly wizard]

I want to be completely forgotten. I want to have disappeared entirely with no trance that I was ever here in the first place. I want to disappear into complete and utter nothingness, to have never been something to begin with

 

[theblueveil]

The selfish part of me wants people in my life to remember me, and to remember what they did to me. Part of me wants them to remember how they treated my particular demographic people, which they will surely find out about me once I am gone. But for the most part, my reason for CTB is to be at peace, and I want others to be at peace too. Hopefully they will forget about me in a few years time.

 

[blackbeauty]

i would like my friends to remember all the good things about me. maybe i would be used as an educational piece about making ctb less taboo as a conversational topic.

 

[Proxar]

One of my best friends took the bus about 5 years ago, I cried a lot and I get very nostalgic when im close by the places where we used to hang out.

Later I learned that after you get used to the pain and each time you forget the feeling, until you reopen that wound. I hope this happens and people don't think so much of me after a while.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

If my story were to convince just one more person to support the right to die so that a suicidal person in the future who is terrified of life and the current ways of dying can get access to a peaceful method or at the very least get validated for their struggles, my story is worth talking about and I'd rather have people talking about my story. However, I know this won't be the case since my story would do nothing in helping to legalise the right to die for those who need it

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

It's complicated. If I CTB, I don't want to be another statistic for trans people. I don't think saying in a suicide note that gender affirming care earlier in my life (and less hatred) may have saved me would do anything. The transphobes (like my dad) would say I was brainwashed.

I don't wanna be another sign people with DID are "crazy" either. But then again, it's 50/50 whether people would think "oh wow DID systems are clearly more harmful to themselves than others, how desvastating" or "if they can kill themselves that way then what could they do to another person, clearly they were unstable."

But I would love if I was able to share about what ABA does to kids. They still do it here. They still torture children like that.

If I die, I want people to know that not only is it a form of trauma-based mind control, but it uses conversion therapy methods, encourages dissociation, DOES use negative reinforcement even though they lie and say they DON'T (what they do is they label basic needs as "rewards." I was not allowed to drink water if I didn't act properly. Because water was "a reward." That's just negative reinforcement with a different name),
and gives predators in the ABA schools/groups access to the kids who are being trained to be "normal."

You can imagine the jackpot pedophiles find when a kid is THAT VULNERABLE.

I want parents of autistic kids to know that ABA will make their kids LESS "NORMAL," not more so. Just because the kid no longer expresses their autism symptoms doesn't mean the kid is happy or that the symptoms went away.

ABA built them an emotional mask by stitching together the bits of their soul they tore out. You killed your child.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

There's nothing to learn from my story except "Don't be me."

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Nope, want to be forgotten. Shameful life. Achievements small.

 

[Forever Sleep]

There probably is a self indulgent, self pitying part part of me that wants people to think it was tragic. Not just for me but that a lot of people struggle in this world.

Maybe also that one friend in particular knows where all this originated. That it was effectively one person that set me on this course and they largely got away with it. Maybe there is a part of me that wants my friend to hate them for it. (I actually think they hate them anyway.) I'm not even entirely sure I hate them myself though. That's the honest, ugly truth though.

In terms of people learning from it though. I really don't know how they would. Ideally, don't have children to begin with maybe. Or, don't think you can expose them to (suspected) narcissists and they'll come out unscathed. Other than that though, this world would need to regress a few decades for someone like me to do better in it I think. I think a fair bit of the crap I encountered was unavoidable though. You can hardly beg relatives not to die of natural causes. I'm just a prime example of why life should be avoided overall I think!

 

[hereornot]

I just want people forgot about me
Take their attention away from me. Find something else to do than stalk me until I'm dead. Em português, apenas me errem de uma vez por todas.