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waterbottle3929
Member
- Feb 4, 2024
- 9
I had it once back 4 years ago when I had SN (before the legal hoops, you could just order it off of Amazon. Shitty that you can't anymore), I was in a ton of distress and anxiety the days before I ordered it. But once I did, there was like this feeling of calm? Knowing that I had control to end my suffering whenever I could? I had it for about 2 months before I used it and then ended up in the hospital but yeah.
Today, I just ordered a gun safe since I'm planning on buying some firearms to end my life. Was wondering if anyone else feels this strange sense of calmness after preparing? Like I was crying so much just 3 days ago feeling like my entire world was crumbling and that I was worthless, etc., etc. But now that I'm taking the first steps I feel really calm? Like I don't feel anxious anymore since I know I'll soon be able to just fallback on killing myself when I get everything.
Today, I just ordered a gun safe since I'm planning on buying some firearms to end my life. Was wondering if anyone else feels this strange sense of calmness after preparing? Like I was crying so much just 3 days ago feeling like my entire world was crumbling and that I was worthless, etc., etc. But now that I'm taking the first steps I feel really calm? Like I don't feel anxious anymore since I know I'll soon be able to just fallback on killing myself when I get everything.