Venting Does anyone else have like no real hobbies/long term interests/etc?

[coolgal82]

I have like none other than general ones like "anime" and "video games" and etc but within those the stuff i care about changes so much that like just idk. i usually have one thats kinda more long term thats just whatever my main friendgroup at the time is like based around (and maybe other common interests) but like idk outside of that its just ????

i literally like idk i dont really know who i am or who i wanna be or whatever but there is nothing i think about and actually like have a desire to pursue like that and even if i did i wouldnt be any good so why bother? and i just wouldnt care enough to put all that time and effort in when id probably just get bored of it anyway. idfk. even the stuff i was into as a child im no longer into now and like my like/dislike of other stuff shifts constantly for various reasons.

idfk i just dont know anymore. i dont know anything i dont even like fully know what i truly like think/feel/believe like i know what i believe now to a certain extent but it just changes so much idk if its real. like i used to be completely against certain words in any context, joined a new friendgroup and they use them and boom suddenly im "ok i guess its fine based on the context" and like other beliefs i havent fully changed i just kinda dont care about them anymore like im vaguely leftist and have some sympathies in that direction still but i just kinda dont focus on it much.

it also just changes even outside of that like again to politics i just kinda one day switched from like hardline of one ideology to basically the exact opposite in alot of ways? also my stance on like problematic topics in fiction and such changed just on a whim. also various other things of similar level or smaller.

idk im just tired of this. anyone else experience anything like this?

 

[NoPoint2Life]

Yeah, my only hobbies are reading and watching TV and I don't think those are real hobbies. I always dreaded the question - what do you do for fun?

 

[H.O.Xan]

Yeah, my only hobbies are reading and watching TV and I don't think those are real hobbies. I always dreaded the question - what do you do for fun?

"What do u do for fun?"

Time to get creative...

 

[casual_existence]

I've always struggled to stick to one thing. One thing that I can recommend is find a hobby where you make things and stick to it. The thing is that you're gonna not want to do it since it'll be hard. You just lack discipline which is something that you develop over time.

How you choose the hobby matters since obviously you don't want to do something you hate. Try to dedicate some time every day. If your hobby is singing then even if you sing one section of one song that's fine. It's important that you invent a song ratherthan just copy because then you'll feel like you're just "going through the motions".
Because you're kinda forcing yourself to do something you're not gonna want to do it. No. You cannot quit. There's so much more to say and if you have questions please ask. The most important thing you can do is ask but remember to do.

 

[coolgal82]

I've always struggled to stick to one thing. One thing that I can recommend is find a hobby where you make things and stick to it. The thing is that you're gonna not want to do it since it'll be hard. You just lack discipline which is something that you develop over time.

How you choose the hobby matters since obviously you don't want to do something you hate. Try to dedicate some time every day. If your hobby is singing then even if you sing one section of one song that's fine. It's important that you invent a song ratherthan just copy because then you'll feel like you're just "going through the motions".
Because you're kinda forcing yourself to do something you're not gonna want to do it. No. You cannot quit. There's so much more to say and if you have questions please ask. The most important thing you can do is ask but remember to do.

i cant just force myself to do things if i dont want to though i lack that ability, its not just a discipline thing. also theres literally nothing like that that interests me in the first place and even if i did find something i'd get bored of it really quickly. the main problem atlwast for alot of this is just having adhd.

and even aside from that there's literally nothing im good at and if im not good at it i have 0 motivation to do it because if i try and fail i will actually have a breakdown. i've had them over just losing chess games before and chess is one thing im not the worst at. also tf2 games which again im not the worst at.

also singing is definitely a no go because voice dysphoria lmao. i just generally have no creative talent. i tried to get into writing and kinda enjoyed it but also then quickly got bored and moved on after writing one single thing that was utter shite. i kinda wanna maybe try it again but like i am a slave to my own brain basically and my brain has decided "nah cant be fucked lmao"

lots of other reasons i could go into really but its 1pm and i havent slept and im desperately trying to get to sleep but my body is refusing lmao (well my body is plenty tired but my brain clearly isnt)

also like is there a tag i can put in my post like "hey i dont want any like generic advice etc" cus like no offense to you you had no way of knowing but honestly i just hate that kind of advice like if it was that simple id love to do it but it isnt and all the generic advice like that fails to account for so much and also like when i vent im not looking for a "fix" i more like to air my problems out and see if anyone can relate or even explain why i feel that way (or why they feel that way) and expand upon it and explain how they feel it and etc etc rather than just purely giving a fix

 

[Aergia]

Yeah, I can relate in part. I don't have the emotional capacity to be passionate about or even highly interested in anything. I don't have any foundations or original ideas—I feel like I'm just a cobbling of all the media I've consumed. I've had a tendency in the past to change my beliefs according to the last compelling argument I'd read, only this is sort of irrational, since with most issues there are compelling arguments on both sides. On occasions when I've had what I thought were (somewhat) original ideas, I'd later find the same ones far better articulated and fleshed out somewhere else, and that convinced me that if I wanted to learn anything the optimal strategy would be to look outside of myself—i.e just consume more media (to what end? I don't know. The pursuit of knowledge was once a foundational value of mine and a lot of the stuff I do now is only done to emulate the person I used to be and wish I still was).

Anyway, if I had to attempt some advice I'd ask—why do you think your beliefs are so liable to changing?. I hope I'm not overstepping here but iirc you've posted about being very attached to your friends in the past—do you think changing your beliefs to fit in with them might be related to that? Maybe a sort of subconscious defence mechanism—to avoid any potential conflict, seeing as you care for them a lot? I don't have any suggestions for why your beliefs might change outside of that context, but I think it's a good thing that you're able to recognise this.

 

[coolgal82]

Yeah, I can relate in part. I don't have the emotional capacity to be passionate about or even highly interested in anything. I don't have any foundations or original ideas—I feel like I'm just a cobbling together of all the media I've consumed. I've had a tendency in the past to change my beliefs according to the last compelling argument I've read, only this is sort of irrational, since most issues have compelling arguments on both sides, so now I just exist in a sort of static skepticism, which is made easy by the fact that it's hard for me to care about much at all, emotionally. It's so much easier for me to point out the flaws in an existent idea than to come up with my own. On occasions where I've had what I thought were (somewhat) original ideas, I'd later find the same ones far better articulated and fleshed out somewhere else, and this convinced me that if I wanted to learn anything the optimal strategy would be to look outside of myself—i.e just consume more media (to what end? I don't know. The pursuit of knowledge was once a foundational value of mine and a lot of the stuff I do now is only done to emulate the person I used to be and wish I still was). Sure, I prefer the idea of exploring ideas to truly adopting any ("cartography, not polemic," I think a writer once said of their book. Or "scout mindset"—not "soldier mindset") but I'm also aware of why that enlightened-centrism brand of thought is, well, bad.

Anyway, if I had to attempt some advice I'd ask—why do you think your beliefs are so liable to changing?. I hope I'm not overstepping here but iirc you've posted about being very attached to your friends in the past—do you think changing your beliefs to fit in with them might be related to that? Maybe a sort of subconscious defence mechanism—to avoid any potential conflict, seeing as you care for them a lot? I don't have any suggestions for why your beliefs might change outside of that context, but I think it's a good thing that you're able to perceive what's going on.

honestly i have no idea, maybe its partially that? the main reason im like asking is so people can like maybe relate to it and i can then use their like experiences/whatever to like reflect on my own cus like understanding myself is just really difficult so its easier to like have others explain how they experience stuff and i can go "yeah that sounds right" or "hmm not really" even if most of the time its "uhh maybe? maybe not? idk?"

honestly what i really want is just someone who can observe me and see in my head and shit and just like do that for a bit and then like i guess explain me to me? idk? im not even sure if this is right. i just dont know or understand anything anymore. all of my posts are basically with the vague hope that someone just reads it and can plainly lay out everything and be like "yeah this is whats wrong with you its xyz and abc" or even like just a "could it be xyz?" thing. idk. (honestly what i really want is that but just my besties or atleast like one of them i just need someone else to like idk just understand it all for me because nothing makes sense but even then like would i be able to believe/accept it? maybe slightly more than if anyone else did it idk.)

 

[casual_existence]

i cant just force myself to do things if i dont want to though i lack that ability, its not just a discipline thing. also theres literally nothing like that that interests me in the first place and even if i did find something i'd get bored of it really quickly. the main problem atlwast for alot of this is just having adhd.

and even aside from that there's literally nothing im good at and if im not good at it i have 0 motivation to do it because if i try and fail i will actually have a breakdown. i've had them over just losing chess games before and chess is one thing im not the worst at. also tf2 games which again im not the worst at.

also singing is definitely a no go because voice dysphoria lmao. i just generally have no creative talent. i tried to get into writing and kinda enjoyed it but also then quickly got bored and moved on after writing one single thing that was utter shite. i kinda wanna maybe try it again but like i am a slave to my own brain basically and my brain has decided "nah cant be fucked lmao"

lots of other reasons i could go into really but its 1pm and i havent slept and im desperately trying to get to sleep but my body is refusing lmao (well my body is plenty tired but my brain clearly isnt)

also like is there a tag i can put in my post like "hey i dont want any like generic advice etc" cus like no offense to you you had no way of knowing but honestly i just hate that kind of advice like if it was that simple id love to do it but it isnt and all the generic advice like that fails to account for so much and also like when i vent im not looking for a "fix" i more like to air my problems out and see if anyone can relate or even explain why i feel that way (or why they feel that way) and expand upon it and explain how they feel it and etc etc rather than just purely giving a fix

Oh sorry. In that case. Yeah I've also struggled with it and over time I've learned to deal with it.
In my situation I've struggled with doing things that feel like a waste of time. Most things are a waste of time though even if I was doing something that "moved forward" it's really more like I just don't want to do anything. It's so chill being in my bed. Don't have to deal with anyone. Don't have to do anything. Just here.

 

[darkshadownice]

Yeah, I know that feeling. Everytime I'm interested in doing something, I quickly lose interest in it. I have a much harder time focusing on a book and put it down after like 10 pages, and I only play video games for like 2-4 hours playing AAA titles or messing around in TF2 before stepping away and browsing Youtube videos until I fall asleep.
It has to be the permeating presence of technology that does this to us. I was never this terrible when I was a kid.

 

[coolgal82]

Yeah, I know that feeling. Everytime I'm interested in doing something, I quickly lose interest in it. I have a much harder time focusing on a book and put it down after like 10 pages, and I only play video games for like 2-4 hours playing AAA titles or messing around in TF2 before stepping away and browsing Youtube videos until I fall asleep.
It has to be the permeating presence of technology that does this to us. I was never this terrible when I was a kid.

ive definitely gotten worse since i was a kid but i dont think its just technology idk

 

[darkshadownice]

ive definitely gotten worse since i was a kid but i dont think its just technology idk

I think imo it's technology being all around us compared to 15 years ago, especially when the iphone came out and social media like Facebook becoming real popular. I vividly remember all of that happening when I was a kid in middle school. Everyone was starting to get into social media and had their own phones, I didn't get mine until high school.
I've noticed that visual information on the internet goes at a much more rapid rate now, like with Youtube videos having quick edits every 2 seconds interspersed throughout and a slurry of flashing colours definitely messed with my attention span. I can't believe we're at the stage where people feel the need to put "WATCH TO THE END!" on a 15 second video lol. It's gotten to be so bad now, I shit you not I've had to replay segments over and over when I'm listening to an audiobook or am watching a 10 minute video about politics or the news. Instant gratification seems to be the most valuable for monetization. It's probably even worse on TikTok, I wouldn't know since I don't use it, and probably never will.

COVID really did amplify all of this, it wasn't this bad before.

 

[Shiru]

When someone asks me my hobbies I tell them the ones I used to have because now I don't have any I just binge watch YouTube and reels and rot in bed

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yep, I don't really have any hobbies or interests or anything. Of course I do things to pass the time but it's more so to pass the time and temporarily get my mind away from acknowledging the harsh realities of life than it is an activity of pleasure.

I always dreaded the question - what do you do for fun?

For this question, I always say "sleep" and then I get weird reactions by people lol. It's true though, sleeping is the only thing in life that I like because my sleep is almost always dreamless and it's so peaceful