Does anyone else not feel fully human?

[sserafim]

Most parts of the human experience are alien to me (like wanting love/romance and to have a partner, children, family etc). I don't want any of them and I don't feel fully human because of this. I'm not sure if it's just Asperger's or something else. Maybe my soul is from another planet or something

 

[Otaku]

How much socializing have you done?
And where in Asia are you from. You moved to the UK right?

 

[sserafim]

How much socializing have you done?
And where in Asia are you from. You moved to the UK right?

I went to school up until I graduated college almost 2 years ago. I've been a NEET/hiki ever since then. I just don't want to socialize and see no need to. Online interaction is fine but I hate in-person

I'm Asian but I was born and raised in America. I'm Asian American. I don't consider myself American, but that's what my passport says, so it's not like I have a choice lol

 

[Otaku]

But there are a huge difference how your parents are treating you.
If they are for instance from Japan, China, Taiwan, and so on.

Well nothing wrong with being a Neet for some time. You gotta find your own place in life.

 

[sserafim]

But there are a huge difference how your parents are treating you.
If they are for instance from Japan, China, Taiwan, and so on.

Well nothing wrong with being a Neet for some time. You gotta find your own place in life.

They're from China. I don't want to find my own place in life. Why should I have to? It's not my fault that I was born. Why should I have to be independent and make my own way in the world? It's not fair; I didn't ask for any of this. Adulthood is just unwanted responsibilities that I never even wanted in the first place. I'm planning to ctb to escape them lol

 

[Otaku]

They're from China. I don't want to find my own place in life. Why should I have to? It's not my fault that I was born

I am not saying you have to. i'm just saying it's alright being a neet.
But it is definitely not easier, suffering from autisme.

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

For me, it's different.

Sometimes I feel that the people around me are not human, but "subhuman".
Every time I look at the people in my town, I feel that they are not capable of understanding what life really is and what world they are in. I begin to notice that they only care about satisfying their most primitive needs (food, sex, belonging to a group, family, etc...); But they don't look around them and they are not capable of comprehending the universe, life, suffering, etc...

I feel like I was born in the wrong world...

 

[sserafim]

For me, it's different.

Sometimes I feel that the people around me are not human, but "subhuman".
Every time I look at the people in my town, I feel that they are not capable of understanding what life really is and what world they are in. I begin to notice that they only care about satisfying their most primitive needs (food, sex, belonging to a group, family, etc...); But they don't look around them and they are not capable of comprehending the universe, life, suffering, etc...

I feel like I was born in the wrong world...

It's that way for me as well. I think that even though I don't feel fully human, I still have a superiority complex. I view normies as NPCs who live on autopilot and instinct. Normies never stop to ponder the real questions, like the meaning of life. They're driven solely by survival. They seem to be ignorant, dumb and stupid and don't have minds of their own. They have no critical thinking skills and follow herd mentality. I also feel like I was born into the wrong world. It's like I'm on the wrong planet

 

[Unicr0n]

Every time I look at the people in my town, I feel that they are not capable of understanding what life really is and what world they are in. I begin to notice that they only care about satisfying their most primitive needs (food, sex, belonging to a group, family, etc...); But they don't look around them and they are not capable of comprehending the universe, life, suffering, etc.

Have you considered that they're struggling so much in life that they can't focus on anything other than survival? Put yourself in their shoes. Even people who have their hair all done up, nails done, are wearing fancy clothes, etc may not actually be rich but have to present that way in order to keep their job. Not everyone is smart enough to think philosophically all the time. How do you know what they're thinking? You're projecting your negative feelings onto them when in reality they may be suffering as well but just choose not to show it externally.

 

[sserafim]

Have you considered that they're struggling so much in life that they can't focus on anything other than survival? Put yourself in their shoes. Even people who have their hair all done up, nails done, are wearing fancy clothes, etc may not actually be rich but have to present that way in order to keep their job. Not everyone is smart enough to think philosophically all the time. How do you know what they're thinking? You're projecting your negative feelings onto them when in reality they may be suffering as well but just choose not to show it externally.

Life is a game of and struggle for survival, but normies don't even think philosophically at all. They just live on autopilot and satisfy their primitive needs and desires. They seem to be incapable of higher order thinking and are not intellectual whatsoever. That's why I view them as shallow, fake and materialistic. They only care about "big house, big cars, big rings"

 

[Malaria]

Yes, I feel like I'm not human. I feel like I'm just a nuisance that never should have been born.

 

[sserafim]

Yes, I feel like I'm not human. I feel like I'm just a nuisance that never should have been born.

I'm sorry to hear that. Why do you feel like a nuisance? I think I never should have been born either, but it's because I don't like being alive

 

[Malaria]

I'm sorry to hear that. Why do you feel like a nuisance? I think I never should have been born either, but it's because I don't like being alive

I feel like a nuisance because I have a tendency to mess everything up, because I have a combination of autism and BPD, and also possibly some other disorders.

When I'm not having difficulty reading social cues, I'm having difficulty regulating my emotions because of fear of abandonment. Hell, over the weekend I got into a fight with someone I love dearly because of my difficulty with emotional regulation. I tend to lash out when I'm distressed. I tend to act impulsively. Plus I've just been neglecting a lot of my responsibilities because of how depressed I've been. I feel like a burden to everyone around me because I'm not doing what I'm "supposed" to be doing. I'm not doing my obligations, I just spend all day in my room crying and self harming.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Definitely, I feel like I'm not human. There's just so much factors that make me feel like I'm not human. I never really had any interests or understood why people were so happy or socialised to even the slightest degree. I can't experience happiness the way others can and, overall, I'm just not meant to be here. This world isn't designed for me

 

[Hollowman]

Haven't felt fully human for a long time and I'm too far gone to really care anymore. I started out in life pretty "normal" but those memories are faded.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I often go back and forth between feeling the same way, like I'm some kind of degenerate subhuman creature and also fearing I'm TOO human to the point where I embody the worst traits of it. A lot of the things people hate about humans are very true in myself, but I just haven't found a way to make it work for me and seem normal.

 

[LevUwU]

I most certainly believe alienation from the rest of the human race is a common concept for those of us with mental disorders and the sort. Certainly, I accept my humanity, but despise it. I do find it hard to relate to what most others seem to consider universal experiences sometimes, but that's mostly due to trauma..

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

Have you considered that they're struggling so much in life that they can't focus on anything other than survival? Put yourself in their shoes. Even people who have their hair all done up, nails done, are wearing fancy clothes, etc may not actually be rich but have to present that way in order to keep their job. Not everyone is smart enough to think philosophically all the time. How do you know what they're thinking? You're projecting your negative feelings onto them when in reality they may be suffering as well but just choose not to show it externally.

It's basically what people tell me.

And putting aside the suffering, the real question here is:

"Why do I have to be like everyone else?"

People can decide what to do with their lives. If they seek to survive to deal with their suffering, they are entitled to it and I have no right to tell them what to do with their lives. The problem is, why despite respecting their decision to carry on with their lives, they don't let me decide what to do with mine? Why do people tell me I have to keep living when I don't want to because simply this world is not for me? Why don't I have the right to leave this world?

What I'm saying is not focused on whether they should think philosophically, but on why, by thinking differently, I have to be excluded from the traditionalist society I live in.

I want to leave this world because I don't feel welcome, but still, people tell me to "appreciate my life" because it is "a gift from God"...

 

[sserafim]

I often go back and forth between feeling the same way, like I'm some kind of degenerate subhuman creature and also fearing I'm TOO human to the point where I embody the worst traits of it. A lot of the things people hate about humans are very true in myself, but I just haven't found a way to make it work for me and seem normal.

I've never felt degenerate or subhuman, just different

It's basically what people tell me.

And putting aside the suffering, the real question here is:

"Why do I have to be like everyone else?"

People can decide what to do with their lives. If they seek to survive to deal with their suffering, they are entitled to it and I have no right to tell them what to do with their lives. The problem is, why despite respecting their decision to carry on with their lives, they don't let me decide what to do with mine? Why do people tell me I have to keep living when I don't want to because simply this world is not for me? Why don't I have the right to leave this world?

What I'm saying is not focused on whether they should think philosophically, but on why, by thinking differently, I have to be excluded from the traditionalist society I live in.

I want to leave this world because I don't feel welcome, but still, people tell me to "appreciate my life" because it is "a gift from God"...

Literally. They want me to fit the mold and conform to their (societal) standards and expectations, but I DON'T WANT TO. Why should I have to be like everyone else? Why should I have to do what everyone else does? Why should I have to meet other people's expectations? I hate how society pressures everyone to conform. They also won't let me leave this world as euthanasia is illegal, so I'm basically forced to live against my will

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Most parts of the human experience are alien to me (like wanting love/romance and to have a partner, children, family etc). I don't want any of them and I don't feel fully human because of this. I'm not sure if it's just Asperger's or something else. Maybe my soul is from another planet or something

I think you're one of the most human, because you're nice. It's perfectly okay not to want love/romance/relationships/partners/kids etc!

I'm sorry you don't feel human because of this.

Yes, I feel like I'm not human. I feel like I'm just a nuisance that never should have been born.

You too, I feel like you're the most human by my definition.

I'm sorry you feel that way, that's awful as well.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I've never felt degenerate or subhuman, just different

Literally. They want me to fit the mold and conform to societal standards and expectations, but I DONT WANT TO. Why should I have to?

Willful defiance in the face of immovable forces is also a very human trait. Just because you aren't an obedient human doesn't mean you aren't one. Not enjoying work is so typical that we had to design systems to incentivize people for it. These incentives don't work on everyone of course. Many human innovations were started by some people saying they didn't want to do things the way they were meant to be done.

Being less than human would mean succumbing to the animal instincts that we separated ourselves from thousands of years ago. That's what I mean.

 

[Malaria]

I've felt like a degenerate subhuman many times. I've been called a degenerate too. It hurt, but I often wonder everyday if they were right.

 

[sserafim]

Willful defiance in the face of immovable forces is also a very human trait. Just because you aren't an obedient human doesn't mean you aren't one. Not enjoying work is so typical that we had to design systems to incentivize people for it. These incentives don't work on everyone of course. Many human innovations were started by some people saying they didn't want to do things the way they were meant to be done.

Being less than human would mean succumbing to the animal instincts that we separated ourselves from thousands of years ago. That's what I mean.

I've never felt like a degenerate subhuman. I just feel different from people. I've never felt any lesser than them. If anything, I even feel above them. It's probably the Asperger's. I don't want what most people want in life. It doesn't appeal to me

I most certainly believe alienation from the rest of the human race is a common concept for those of us with mental disorders and the sort. Certainly, I accept my humanity, but despise it. I do find it hard to relate to what most others seem to consider universal experiences sometimes, but that's mostly due to trauma..

I hate being human too. I wish I could've been a cat. I also find it hard to relate to what most others seem to consider universal experiences. How did you know that it was due to trauma for you?

 

[Unicr0n]

Life is a game of and struggle for survival, but normies don't even think philosophically at all.
They seem to be incapable of higher order thinking and are not intellectual whatsoever. That's why I view them as shallow, fake and materialistic. They only care about "big house, big cars, big rings"

Why do you try to segregate people like this? Have you talked to people in real life? Normal people do have some level of philosophical thinking. Your line of thinking is so arrogant and self-absorbed it's a huge turnoff. You don't seem to be able to put yourself in anyone else's shoes. You think you're better than everyone else with how you speak [which fits your contrarian personality]. It comes off as fake. I can't stand fake people cuz I used to be one and hated who I was because of it. If you look at how you act, your words echo back at you. If you continue to destroy the parts of you that are real, all that will be left is a black hole...

, they don't let me decide what to do with mine? Why do people tell me I have to keep living when I don't want to because simply this world is not for me?

This world is not for ANY of us. We all have to fight to fit in. If we choose not to fit in, we can find or make a lifestyle path that works for us. We can also choose not to accept any of it and die instead. People recognise that suicide does a lot of trauma to multiple people: 1. you 2. family/friends/lovers 3. the people that discover your body 4. the people that clean up the mess your body made 5. the people that have to observe your body 6. the people that have to deal with your funeral if you have one. Suicide is not a one-party ordeal. You end up traumatizing several parties. People may have their own selfish reasons for not wanting you to die but at the end of the day, their selfishness for not wanting to feel the pain of you gone, it does hurt more than just your family. It's not even a philosophical question: your suicide harms more than helps. Not trying to deter you from suicide btw. I'm just stating the facts that I've had to think about when considering CTB.

I want to leave this world because I don't feel welcome

It's up to you to decide whether to quit the game or forge a path of your own to find a piece of the world to fit in. It's easier to give up than to change, that's for sure. Spent over a decade fighting to stop being so negative towards others. So much easier to just be mean and angry. Took lot of fighting to change.

 

[vadim]

I feel this way, although more because I'm unable to form relationships with people rather than wanting to. I don't want to ever have kids because I don't like them but I would like a relationship and desperately want friends. I indentify a lot with the protagonist of my favourite novel, "No Longer Human" by Osamu Dazai. He feels like he must not be fully human because of being unable to connect with people or being truly understood.

 

[Pluto]

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

I feel like this body is just a meat suit.

 

[vitbar]

Sometimes I feel like I'm not a person. In my case it's not that I don't want those things, but that I don't have them.

 

[greebo6]

No , not fully human because existing the way I have to is neither nice nor normal.

 

[Final_Choice]

My whole life I've always felt like I was a ghost or a robot or something like that, as if I didn't even have a soul or was truly a living being. I've just accepted it these days.