Hey BlackPoppet,
You sound like a lovely and friendly person who has been hurt by people in the past. Perhaps you trusted them and they ended up betraying that trust. I completely understand the need to be cautious with people as a result. I think that this is a good thing, but I'm sorry this bothers you.
I do not feel lonely as I am lucky to have good friends that I can usually call and hangout with. But I hate being alone. I was not like this last year (before the tragedies occurred in my life). I am not proud of this but I feel that I always need people with me. I am also extroverted but I was not like this. It is something that I need to work through, and go back to finding peace and satisfaction with my own company.
There are lots of people in my life, however, it feels like no one understands me. That's what makes me feel the most loneliest and disconnected from society. No amount of money could pay to buy or find someone who could emotionally satisfy me within reason.
I'm terribly sorry you feel misunderstood. Of course your feelings of loneliness are completely understandable. If I may ask, what would make you feel emotionally satisfied in that regard?
I am very alone. I have no friends, no partner. There's something wrong with me -- I don't know how to connect with others and no one likes me. It hurts. The loneliness eats away at me every day. Didn't mean to get so melodramatic, but that's what I'm feeling right now.
I'm sorry the loneliness feels this terrible. Hugs
. Remember there is NOTHING wrong with you (unless you hurt people but I am
sure you don't). I am not sure what your situation is but it might be social anxiety that makes it difficult? I am sure people do not dislike you, but it is easy to feel that way when there is nobody by our side <3 I do hope you find a partner and friends that you can bond with (they are out there!).