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im_a_joke

im_a_joke

blatant awareness
Apr 1, 2023
2
Does anyone like being depressed? I'm honestly asking because I feel the need to know if there are others. I wonder if it's just Anhedonia or maybe some mental thing where I like the feeling of being so sad I can't move, and the feeling of self hatred and total lack of empathy. I feel like it gives my life purpose. It's always been this way. I like to argue and I like to see others in pain, including myself. I just want to know if others feel the same.
 
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daocreator

daocreator

Unstable uni student
Nov 29, 2023
62
Does anyone like being depressed? I'm honestly asking because I feel the need to know if there are others. I wonder if it's just Anhedonia or maybe some mental thing where I like the feeling of being so sad I can't move, and the feeling of self hatred and total lack of empathy. I feel like it gives my life purpose. It's always been this way. I like to argue and I like to see others in pain, including myself. I just want to know if others feel the same.
Oh, trust me. It's totally fine! Such a thing happened to me a few years ago too. Basically, I was like any human; emotional, talkative, etc.

But some switch flipped and I just... don't know why, but I lost all emotions, became apathetic, etc.

The part where you like seeing others on pain... well, there's always this part on me that's like that but I usually suppress it, since I might risk schizophrenia otherwise. And it's not something I wanna deal with anytime soon.

To sum all this up, it's totally fine to feel the way you do! Anyway, if you're new to this state and need help with a few questions, you can ask
 
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cgrtt.brns

cgrtt.brns

wandering ghost (he/him)
Apr 19, 2023
844
dont know if this applies to you but i know for me i feel similar because its how ive felt for so long that its become comforting and familiar. happiness seems so far away and foreign to me that its almost scary. i think i also feel like i deserve to be depressed because of self esteem issues, the idea of me being happy almost angers me bc i feel like i shouldnt be happy.
as far as liking to argue and see others in pain, at the moment i dont relate to that, but i know in the past i have been like that. im not entirely sure, but i think for me it stemmed from my own self hatred and also hatred of the world that caused me to feel the way i do, i felt like others also didnt deserve to be happy because it wasnt fair. im not sure why i dont feel like this anymore, it just kinda changed at some point. but you're definitely not alone in how you feel. hope this made sense.
 
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