Help Does Anyone Here Have Schizoaffective Disorder?

[diyCTB]

Hi. I am classified by psychiatrist as having scizoaffective disorder. I am not sure whether it's accurate but here is my problem:

I try avoiding people because I feel tense, anxious and fearful when talking with people.

The worst part is that I am unable to work because I do not understand what people say to me when talking with them. This is especially true when they explain something to me. Their words don't stay in my head and if there's something I understood from conversation I forget it right away.

When I try to ask them again, I don't always get it. I don't want to ask them over and over because I am afraid of their response and what they will think of me. At this point I start to fear them, to talk to them and I say "Understood" to save my face even if there's something I didn't understand. I think I am retard but I don't want them to see me as retard.

I had to quit my job recently because I wasn't doing well there. For me it was better to quit than them seeing me a retard and firing me. I quit because I didn't understand my job and was like a dummy. I couldn't stand those awkward situations anymore. I was avoiding employees right there. I was afraid.

Anyone thinks this looks like scizoaffective disorder or something else?

Those who have what I described, how do you cope with these issues?

Thanks.

 

[Tegan_sky]

I have one of my diagnoses listed as schizoaffective disorder. When I asked my shrink why that diagnosis is listed on me, he said it's because I have hallucinations in my peripheral vision on my left side.

I understand being afraid and tense when talking to people. Also relate to the issue of not being able to retain information. I had that a LOT at my last job. My boss even brought up a couple of times "Tegan continues to lack focus" on a review, and another time when he called me into his office to scold me, he said "I need you to focus!"

As far as the fear and tension talking to people, how I cope, is I don't go around too many people except for people I have known a long time, and that isn't many. There is social anxiety disorder, and avoidant personality disorder too. I think I have had these to some degree my whole life, and with age, plus more negative experiences with people as the years go by, these disorders have only gotten worse.

 

[Bagger]

Looks like a major social anxiety not schizophrenia for me, but i'm not a psychiatrist.

 

[woxihuanni]

I don't have the disorder and am no professional, but I understand one thing about it. The part of your brain that processes language is somehow not functioning correctly. But you express yourself clearly here, so it's apparently something you have trouble with unexpected communications, sort of. You are definitely not stupid.

Do you think you could find a job where you have minimal human interaction? Where you can learn your duties in your own time, and then just keep doing them without many unexpected developments?

PS: It's just your working memory that fails because of anxiety, probably, may not even be a language problem.

 

[diyCTB]

PS: It's just your working memory that fails because of anxiety, probably, may not even be a language problem.

Thanks.

Sadly there are no normal jobs where I live. Most are customer service and sales related. Of course there are hard labor jobs but they are not for me physically.

The problems I mentioned push me to CTB because they noticeably affect my quality of life. Therapy maybe could help but I would still have to live and manage such problems...

Do you think such problems justify CTB?

 

[woxihuanni]

Thanks.

Sadly there are no normal jobs where I live. Most are customer service and sales related. Of course there are hard labor jobs but they are not for me physically.

The problems I mentioned push me to CTB because they noticeably affect my quality of life. Therapy maybe could help but I would still have to live and manage such problems...

Do you think such problems justify CTB?

You are very welcome, I wish I knew more and be of some help.

It always breaks my heart when anybody ctb because of unemployment. I once attempted for the same reason. How hard is the hard labour jobs? Once I was washing the dishes, alone with my thoughts.

 

[diyCTB]

Once I was washing the dishes, alone with my thoughts.

Labor jobs at factories like packing, lifting etc. Maybe I could pack if I was working alone... I hope the lifting part is not too heavy for my back.

Actually there are jobs washing dishes here... Maybe I should try them. I just don't know if it's something I would want to do until my retirement.

 

[woxihuanni]

Labor jobs at factories like packing, lifting etc. Maybe I could pack if I was working alone... I hope the lifting part is not too heavy for my back.

Actually there are jobs washing dishes here... Maybe I should try them. I just don't know if it's something I would want to do until my retirement.

Don't hurt your back, of course. It's best to try non-heavy-lifting jobs first. I'd say give packing/dishes a try. I know it's not great for a lifetime, but we can think of other options if you take it one small thing at a time. The bus is not running away, after all.

Do reach out with any practical problems/venting whenever you like. Don't tackle everything alone. Hugs

 

[HitchHiker]

You are absolutely not a retard! You write perfectly so that's not a problem.

When someone explains something to me or gives instructions I make lots of notes and ask questions on anything I don't understand. It's better to ask questions at the time and get it right rather than go away not having a clue.

 

[diyCTB]

It's better to ask questions at the time and get it right rather than go away not having a clue.

Somehow I feel shame in asking questions. I fear I won't understand. I fear I will have to re-ask for clarification and be yelled at in return or be called stupid. So I stupidly say that I understand even if I don't in order to avoid above situations.

I don't know what is wrong with me and why I have these thoughts...

 

[woxihuanni]

Somehow I feel shame in asking questions. I fear I won't understand. I fear I will have to re-ask for clarification and be yelled at in return or be called stupid. So I stupidly say that I understand even if I don't in order to avoid above situations.

I don't know what is wrong with me and why I have these thoughts...

I guess you don't have a problem with written instructions, though?

 

[diyCTB]

I guess you don't have a problem with written instructions, though?

Correct. In fact I feel a lot better when communicating in writing. When I can choose between phone conversation or chat, I always choose chat.

 

[woxihuanni]

Correct. In fact I feel a lot better when communicating in writing. When I can choose between phone conversation or chat, I always choose chat.

So it's also a good idea to keep an eye open for jobs where the interaction would be mainly written. Something online/from home? Even if you had a call/video conversation, maybe you could record them and listen/watch at your pace?

 

[Options]

Have you always been like this or did this start happening at some point?

 

[diyCTB]

Have you always been like this or did this start happening at some point?

This started happening at some point. It started approximately 11 years ago, when I was 25.

 

[Options]

other than the instructions & panic you noticed anything else? what was the job you were working?
have they offered you any meds?

 

[diyCTB]

other than the instructions & panic you noticed anything else? what was the job you were working?
have they offered you any meds?

Anxiety, fear, stress.

Job was testing internal circuits of electronic boards.

Who offered me meds? My peers in the workplace? No.

 

[Final Escape]

Hi. I am classified by psychiatrist as having scizoaffective disorder. I am not sure whether it's accurate but here is my problem:

I try avoiding people because I feel tense, anxious and fearful when talking with people.

The worst part is that I am unable to work because I do not understand what people say to me when talking with them. This is especially true when they explain something to me. Their words don't stay in my head and if there's something I understood from conversation I forget it right away.

When I try to ask them again, I don't always get it. I don't want to ask them over and over because I am afraid of their response and what they will think of me. At this point I start to fear them, to talk to them and I say "Understood" to save my face even if there's something I didn't understand. I think I am retard but I don't want them to see me as retard.

I had to quit my job recently because I wasn't doing well there. For me it was better to quit than them seeing me a retard and firing me. I quit because I didn't understand my job and was like a dummy. I couldn't stand those awkward situations anymore. I was avoiding employees right there. I was afraid.

Anyone thinks this looks like scizoaffective disorder or something else?

Those who have what I described, how do you cope with these issues?

Thanks.

Yea I have this problem and im unsure what it is. It might be a processing issue. Maybe it's learning disability, but this is why I would quit jobs. It's like an invisible disability. I think it might be dissociation.

Correct. In fact I feel a lot better when communicating in writing. When I can choose between phone conversation or chat, I always choose chat.

People often wonder why I don't like to call them. This is the real reason. They don't understand I can't communicate well over phone.
The diagnosis may not be accurate but I would research because the doctors these days just throw labels very casually at people when they don't have the full picture.

 

[diyCTB]

@Final Escape You think it might be connected to dissociative identity disorder (DID)?

Have you heard about cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)? Maybe it can help?

 

[HitchHiker]

Somehow I feel shame in asking questions. I fear I won't understand. I fear I will have to re-ask for clarification and be yelled at in return or be called stupid. So I stupidly say that I understand even if I don't in order to avoid above situations.

I don't know what is wrong with me and why I have these thoughts...

What are the management like at your work? Are they understanding? Good managers? I'm a manager and I welcome questions from anyone I give instructions to, I'd rather they ask and get it right. Where possible I create instruction booklets for repeated tasks. Is this something you could help with introducing maybe? If one of my team came up with this suggestion I'd be well impressed! It all depends on how the management are though. I've come across some terrible ones.

I'm the same as you, much prefer written instructions. I gained my whole chartered qualification through self study books at home because classroom stuff just doesn't sink in very well.

 

[Options]

I would try a ssri for the fear/panic see if that helps. I allways liked escitalopram.
Did they show you what to do or tell you want to do?

 

[diyCTB]

I'm the same as you, much prefer written instructions. I gained my whole chartered qualification through self study books at home because classroom stuff just doesn't sink in very well.

I currently don't have management since I quit recently. I worked only 1 week and then I quit due to not doing well.

You are self-taught, yes? I am self-taught and it's easier for me to study something myself than be taught by someone.

Did they show you what to do or tell you want to do?

They did show me briefly without much explaining. When I asked to explain some things then I either didn't hear them well due to conditioners noise in the background or didn't understand what they said. I felt shame in asking to explain again because I knew I wouldn't understand since they talked fast or I just wouldn't hear them again. I felt it would be futile.