Help Does being very anxious and afraid means it is not the right time ?

[illAF]

Title really.

I thought I would be relieved. Am not, instead I had to take many pills to calm me down. I know there is SI but I haven't even prepare the things needed (SN).
I feel so anxious, so bad. Should I feel relieved before doing it ?

Help me please, I'm lost. I'm burning from inside.

Wanted to do it tonight but stuck in my bed with a huge level of anxiety.

 

[smpkie]

I'd recommend you try another time. Maybe go out for a walk, clear your mind and think about it for a while. Pick another day and see how it goes. Best of luck <3

 

[drag201]

I think it's completely normal. I get so anxious when i start thinking about ctbing because we just all have an innate fear of death. Not SI specifically, but that feeling of impending doom that comes from feeling like you might die soon. I get it all the time, it's awful.
I don't think there's a way around it. Just know it's normal to feel like this because choosing to ctb is not like choosing if you want toast or cereal for breakfast. You'd have to be completely desensitised if a life ending decision didn't naturally cause you some sort of anxiety.

 

[Overwhelmed52]

You should probably feel calm/relieved, as though you know it's the right thing for you now. I suffer from terrible anxiety and it comes and goes in waves. If I had a really reliable, peaceful method (such as N), that would help my anxiety a lot. I don't think I would use it right away, but to know that I had something when I was really ready would help a lot. If you're not feeling ready then you're probably not ready.

 

[illAF]

Thank you all for your answers. Right now I feel a bit better. Meds are probably helping. In any case, to have my 8 hours fasting, I have to wait until 10 p.m.
Maybe I'll see how I feel at that moment.

Maybe I also could prepare my car (it is 3 degrees now so I really need to prep many things to not be cold + I want my car to be a bit "pretty"). I could drive somewhere and see how I feel while preparing everything and the SN.

Don't know, for now I think I'll sleep a bit.
There is also something else. My psychiatric just gave me amitripyline. I remember having seen somewhere that combine with another thing it might do the work.

But I can't find the thread, even with the search feature.

Does anybody remember something like that ?

In fact, I'm scared of SN, does not seem so peaceful...