Discussion Does sex help?

[Regret]

relief from thoughts from wanting to ctb…

 

[Anonymus]

I don't know, I guess like any other activity that focuses your attention, it doesn't necessarily have to be sex.
For me, for example, listening to music and enjoying good movies distracts me from suicidal idealization.
And when I was walking around the city in areas I didn't know, before the pandemic, it had the same effect, it made me forget my discomfort.

//

No ho sé, suposo que com qualsevol altra activitat que centri la teva atenció, no te necessàriament que ser el sexe.
A mi per exemple, escoltar música i gaudir de bones películes m'abstrau de la idealització suicida.
I quan passejaba per la ciutat per zones que no coneixía, abans de la pandemia, tenía el mateix efecte, em feia oblidar el meu malestar.

 

[freedomcalls]

It is a temporary distraction, but ultimately if it's not intimacy in a meaningful relationship then I'm going to feel worse afterwards instead of better, so it's more likely to contribute to my longer term self loathing and sense of hopelessness

As distractions go though, it's fun while it lasts

 

[jodes2]

I don't really get much out of sex. O only have sex every 2/3 weeks, much to my (ex?) gf's disappointment

 

[niiina]

I was a sex worker lol all the sex never prevented or helped me to go deeper and deeper into depression

 

[deadliftEnjoyer]

Lmao you people have sex?

 

[Regret]

I was a sex worker lol all the sex never prevented or helped me to go deeper and deeper into depression

It is a temporary distraction, but ultimately if it's not intimacy in a meaningful relationship then I'm going to feel worse afterwards instead of better, so it's more likely to contribute to my longer term self loathing and sense of hopelessness

Outside of your work sex? Cause that would be your job then— what about sex for intimacy?

 

[Death is my goal]

no

 

[LONE WOLF.]

It sometimes relieves a bit of stress but having to shave my left hand every weekend is a chore

 

[JamesUK]

What's sex?

 

[Regret]

What's sex?

Bucket list activity

 

[SectOfValtiel]

Im a virgin so I wouldnt know

But I guess talking about the closest Ive been in that sense, I think it kinda did for me

It was only ever sexting and sending pics/videos, but being able to be even that intimate with my long-distance partner at the time did distract me a lot
Not to mention I was a completely incompetent loser before her... I still am I guess, just feels like its to less of a degree haha
She made me feel like I could actually be smooth if I tried, helped me figure out some of the things I like, gave me more confidence than Id ever had before and some of that has still persisted today

Honestly though I chalk most of that up to just being in love
If it wasnt with her I dont think it would have done much for me... like the idea of a one-night stand just isnt that appealing to me

So I guess I think *intimacy* can help, not necessarily sex itself?
Who knows, maybe Id stop wanting to CTB if I lost my virginity lmao, but I doubt that

 

[Regret]

She made me feel like I could actually be smooth if I tried, helped me figure out some of the things I like, gave me more confidence than Id ever had before and some of that has still persisted today

Yeah the Grace of a partner— intimacy… it's fucking nice.

 

[Capsaicin78]

I think love can help. Even cure in some cases. But depends on the person and their circumstances...

 

[plan c]

A dude told me this earlier: Just be chill and make sure that sex doesn't turn into rape or being raped and everything is good.

The words are rough but it's honest. Don't you want to be harmed twice when looking for healing so still treat that carefully.
Some ppl may think being distressed and longing for saving as a vulnerability they may exploit to fulfill their own biased sexual desires; others may have sex just under the impulse when feeling distressed and potentially sexually harm you.
So make sure it's private, under the condition of mutual-agreement and in pleasant atmosphere.
Not a good idea to carry the hard feelings of self-salvation and stuff into either the relationship or the sex, in which way it won't work.

I was a sex worker lol all the sex never prevented or helped me to go deeper and deeper into depression

Sex, well, could be totally different being a work than being a life.
The kinda sex you have with the clients are meant to please them instead of yourself, so that's not what a sex usually is like. Sex as work is only presented as a one-way thing you're paid for, while sex as life can be Both-ways and as a mutually enjoyable thing to attend to, for you AND your partner, if you get what I'm saying.

Also sex as work is mechanical, formatted and fixed, which is different from the usual sex being of many other possibilities beyond the rigid settings.
That delicate dish you pay for in restaurant is after all different from the packed-meal your mother prepare you every morning, right?

 

[jodes2]

I think sex is overrated. I don't know why but it just seems a lot like hard work. When I get urges I just have quick sex. Not often. It doesn't last long. Enjoyment is very fleeting. I wouldn't object to just having a wank instead and getting the urges out the way