Does your family agree with you wanting to go

[El_Jefe]

If anyone has a terminal illness , is there a way you have told your family you don't want to do this anymore . If so did any of them understand ?

 

[kiki <3]

not me, but my mom who had cancer and most likely suffered with depression or something along that line as she often talked about wanting to take her life. this (possible) diagnosis was disclosed and i will never truly know, this is just a feeling. she was hiding it from us up until the point where she slowly started to lose the ability to walk (i will never forget this, i was in high school and was supposed to go to class but she called me, telling me she is at a hospital and that she can barely walk. i skipped that shitty class, i did not even think about it) and eventually my sister and i both knew. metastatic breast cancer.

she was taking therapy for a year. i would oftentimes sit next to her on our couch and hold her hand while she cried. she cried and cried, and prayed to god that she dies. at that point, my depression only getting worse and all i had to tell her that i love her and that i understand, and that i wish i could go with her.

i knew she was not going to get out of this. there were times where i would get up at 2-3 in the morning to see if she was still breathing.

perhaps this sounds strange, but in the end i am glad that she did not suffer for long. 8 years have gone by, i miss her dearly but she had endured too much in her life. i am the age i am now and if she had gone out the way i want to currently... i would understand. would it hurt immensely? absolutely. but i would understand.

it is strange. for years i was looking for an answer, wondering why she was hiding this from us but then i came to the conclusion that her and i were actually very similar. i would probably not utter a word and let it eat me.

i guess this is more of a perspective from someone who was on the other end of the stick.

 

[El_Jefe]

Thanks for posting this it gives me alot of serenity and acceptance on my end . And makes me feel valid about all the pain I have endured . You write extremely beautiful and thank you for posting this . I know although we never met that your mom isn't suffering anymore and I'm sorry honestly that she went thru such a hard time but she is definitely resting

 

[Plentiful_Despair]

My father told me suicide would be the best for me. But he said that when he was angry, usually he says I shouldnt do it and call him or meet him when I feel especially bad.

 

[Sunghoon]

My father told me suicide would be the best for me. But he said that when he was angry, usually he says I shouldnt do it and call him or meet him when I feel especially bad.

My parents too, they tell me to kill myself out of stress and anger but then they cry and get worried when I acc attempted but now they're back to acting how they did before :[

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think they maybe would accept it if I had a terminal illness but I don't. They aren't aware of how I feel because I intend to wait for the last remaining closest family member to go first.