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lacrimosa

Experienced
Jul 1, 2024
233
Is anyone here an addict involved with the 12 steps? If so, what would your recommendation be for doing them without going to AA meetings? If you managed to do this successfully, a list of things that worked/didn't work would be amazing!

I have been using ChatGPT so far and it's been an invaluable resource but am afraid of failing so want to build some safeguards for myself so I stay on the wagon.

I know it's a potentially vague question, but, any and all help would be greatly appreciated.
 
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uglyugly

uglyugly

Student
Aug 24, 2024
164
Hello, I have never done AA, but was involved in a group called SIA, a 12 step for survivors of abuse. Nearly every in-person meeting closed, so while I was looking for a source for a meeting, I noticed a lot of phone meetings for AA in the process of looking for SIA. You might want to check into those, but I'm not sure if you mean you don't want to go to in person meetings or any actual meeting including phone meetings, so please excuse me if I read this wrong.

Even with SIA, I did a lot of recovery work on my own - I read books, went to recovery forums, wrote in a journal, and just tried everything and anything to recover. Programs swear you can't heal on your own, but I disagree. Recovery is - IMO only - strongly influenced by our own drive, determination and perseverance. And recovery IS possible. I personally believe your desire to stay sober is a lot of the battle right there.

I don't know if this helped but best of luck to you! :heart:
 
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Tesha

Tesha

Life too shall pass
May 31, 2020
911
I've done NA (same programme).

It's really hard to navigate the steps on your own, keeping on track, having someone hold you to account or support while you're struggling.

Why don't you seek support - even if you buddy someone on here / the internet?

The cons of doing it alone - however much you think you are, you won't be honest with yourself. Pros - sorry, can't think of any.

We're here if you need us.
 
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lacrimosa

Experienced
Jul 1, 2024
233
I've done NA (same programme).

It's really hard to navigate the steps on your own, keeping on track, having someone hold you to account or support while you're struggling.

Why don't you seek support - even if you buddy someone on here / the internet?

The cons of doing it alone - however much you think you are, you won't be honest with yourself. Pros - sorry, can't think of any.

We're here if you need us.
I am finding it difficult to find a truly anonymous way to go about doing this. The meetings are supposidly anonymous but people can see your face. I would be much happier doing it via phone. I really don't want my addiction to be known by anyone outside of the realm of online forums, psychiatrists, and close family.
 
Tesha

Tesha

Life too shall pass
May 31, 2020
911
Is there not an online meeting, where you can keep your camera off (possibly with the exception of introducing yourself at the beginning)? I know the UK AA facilitate this.

You really need a sponsor for the best chance of success.
 
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lacrimosa

Experienced
Jul 1, 2024
233
Is there not an online meeting, where you can keep your camera off (possibly with the exception of introducing yourself at the beginning)? I know the UK AA facilitate this.

You really need a sponsor for the best chance of success.
I do agree with this. I will look into online meetings and cover my camera or something... Hopefully, I can find a reliable sponsor.

Thanks for your guidance! :)
 
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Kali_Yuga13

Experienced
Jul 11, 2024
276
In the formative years of AA people would correspond with letters to the world service office. Things were even more difficult with NA as some states still had laws on the books against known drug addicts meeting in person. You can find a way to work a 12 step program with minimal contact if that's what you need. You can do online groups and just listen in with your camera off, there are reddit subs and even your local groups can provide phone numbers of people willing to talk to you. It may be advisable to find at least one pen pal or phone buddy with long time sobriety that's willing to work with you but you will have to sort out who's willing to help in the way you need without shaming you for trying to "do it your way". Even the AA literature says some members do their 4th step with a spiritual advisor that's not part of the program.
 
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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,431
I read Infinite Jest the author was member of such a group. Personally, I don't have own experiences. But from what I have read there are insanely good insights but the book is a lot about drugs. Maybe not a good choice for you. The AA community seems to be very important. Many people have sponsors and peers can help you a lot. Especially, the older member who are sober for many years. I think the contacts are important to learn from each other. From people who fail. And from people who succeed.

I am a complete layman on this topic though.
 
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