Venting Emotional Rollercoaster

[Dap]

Whenever I have some time alone and let my brains run wild, I realise that I am either ecstatic, fully content with myself, living, and deeply in love with everything surrounding me, or on the contrary stuck in a deep, dull, and lonely hole with no conceivable way out.

It's never in between, always one or the other. My mental health is a constant rollercoaster between radiant happiness intense enough to drive me to tears, and darkness, numbness, helplessness.

I feel like taking almost any important decision with some retrospect and a cold head (especially when debating wether to live or not) is impossible. Doing anything properly requires some consistancy over a certain period of time, and that does not seem to be an option for me.

Can anyone relate?

 

[Pryras]

I can relate mainly due to my bipolar disorder. My mind is always shifting from extreme highs to the darkest lows at any given moment. It's scary

 

[Onelessstraw]

I feel the same. It's usually over longish periods of time rather than day to do. I feel really good or just so low that life feels like it is without light.its like I'm just going through the motions and things that should make me happy don't.

 

[Leiot]

Sounds like Bipolar. They say a 'Rapid Cycler' is someone who has 4 episodes in a year. Geez, I've had 4 over a few hours.

But at least I have some periods where it's neither. You might want to get it checked out. If I see something in all three mood states then I know there's something to it.

 

[wren-briar]

Yet another bipolar person popping up to say it sounds like you're bipolar, and specifically rapid cycling.

Meds may help, but know that there can be side effects, drug interactions, paradoxical reactions, and that these things may show up within a few days, but it might be a month or more -even years- after starting a medication, before side-effects happen or become noticeable.

People with bipolar are known to be particularly treatment-resistant and to have more side-effects and more paradoxical reactions! This includes non-psych meds!

So track every posssible symptom!!! If you start to experience anything that might -however remotely- be a side-effect (again, even if you've been on a medication for years) work with your prescriber to A-B-A test each and every medication that you're on, one by one!