• Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

  • Security update: At around 2:28AM EST, the site was labeled as malicious by Google erroneously, causing users to get a "Dangerous site" warning in most browsers. It appears that this was done by mistake and has been reversed by Google. It may take a few hours for you to stop seeing those warnings.

    If you're still getting these warnings, please let a member of staff know.
K

Kitsunefox

Member
Oct 28, 2018
94
I have this experience
 
  • Like
Reactions: Venessolotic, your pathologist, Jen Erik and 12 others
dysfunctional

dysfunctional

Arcanist
Oct 26, 2018
459
Seems to be a full time thing for me at this point.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Venessolotic, your pathologist, lv-gras and 7 others
Lil_Intro_Vert

Lil_Intro_Vert

she/they
Oct 15, 2018
195
I get to points where its like i lose the ability to talk, the anxiety is so bad i freeze up and feel like a deer in headlights. Other times i just completely lose all motivation and sit helplessly
 
  • Like
Reactions: throwaway777, Jen Erik, lv-gras and 4 others
Fucking loving it

Fucking loving it

Specialist
Sep 3, 2018
378
A LOT. I fight flight or freeze and it happens .
 
  • Like
Reactions: throwaway777, lv-gras, BlackDragonof1989 and 1 other person
worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
All the time. Its like having mental paralysis. I get a lot of brain fog, lose motivation, and find the simplest of things a pain in the ass. This is why I lay in bed all day everyday. Feels like a horrible tooth ache inside my brain. I wish I could be sad because that would be a step up from what I'm feeling now.
 
  • Like
Reactions: throwaway777, your pathologist, lv-gras and 5 others
K

Kitsunefox

Member
Oct 28, 2018
94
All the time. Its like having mental paralysis. I get a lot of brain fog, lose motivation, and find the simplest of things a pain in the ass. This is why I lay in bed all day everyday. Feels like a horrible tooth ache inside my brain. I wish I could be sad because that would be a step up from what I'm feeling now.
That is how i would describe what I am going through
 
  • Like
Reactions: throwaway777, your pathologist, lv-gras and 5 others
worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
  • Like
Reactions: throwaway777, your pathologist, dysfunctional and 3 others
K

Kitsunefox

Member
Oct 28, 2018
94
Then my heart goes out to you. Wouldn't wish this shit on my worst enemy.
Its partly in our mind.When i realized that it was in my mind, I stopped worrying as much and created another picture. Im slowly getting out of the fog. Our mind is powerful and we can trick it not to focus on the negative
 
  • Like
Reactions: throwaway777, lv-gras, BlackDragonof1989 and 2 others
Sayo

Sayo

Not 2B
Aug 22, 2018
520
Yes. It engulfs me and I feel winded by it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: throwaway777, lv-gras, RaphtaliaTwoAnimals and 2 others
I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
Everyday. I can't functuon. I feel buried alive
 
  • Like
Reactions: throwaway777, your pathologist, Throwaway563078 and 4 others
dysfunctional

dysfunctional

Arcanist
Oct 26, 2018
459
All the time. Its like having mental paralysis. I get a lot of brain fog, lose motivation, and find the simplest of things a pain in the ass. This is why I lay in bed all day everyday. Feels like a horrible tooth ache inside my brain. I wish I could be sad because that would be a step up from what I'm feeling now.
Horrible. I'm right there with you. (Written from bed on a day with such nice weather...)
 
  • Like
Reactions: throwaway777, your pathologist, lv-gras and 1 other person
Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,140
Yes. Many days I lay on my bed doing nothing, my head flooded with anxiety and depression, thoughts racing. I sometimes cannot speak to others - if I attempt a sentence I trail off because my attention is diverted by my anxiety. Cannot read : by the time I get to the end of the paragraph i've forgotten the beginning—my eyes follow the lines of text but I retain nothing. My severe depression makes me chronically exhausted.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Venessolotic, throwaway777, your pathologist and 3 others
Fallen bad23

Fallen bad23

Student
Oct 19, 2018
105
Yes. Many days I lay on my bed doing nothing, my head flooded with anxiety and depression, thoughts racing. I sometimes cannot speak to others - if I attempt a sentence I trail off because my attention is diverted by my anxiety. Cannot read : by the time I get to the end of the paragraph i've forgotten the beginning—my eyes follow the lines of text but I retain nothing. My severe depression makes me chronically exhausted.
I thought it was just me that is held inside this cage. Hopefully we get out of this one day.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, your pathologist, dysfunctional and 1 other person
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
H

how do you get through it?
Distraction, texting, youtube, sometimes the gym, I reordered a nitrogen tank to attempt ctb again soon. But I'm extremely isolated and often not really taking great care of myself. I fight with myself just to go to the grocery store. It's really tough because of the borderline personality disorder and a shit life in general.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, your pathologist and lv-gras
I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
Distraction, texting, youtube, sometimes the gym, I reordered a nitrogen tank to attempt ctb again soon. But I'm extremely isolated and often not really taking great care of myself. I fight with myself just to go to the grocery store. It's really tough because of the borderline personality disorder and a shit life in general.
It's still very hard to distract yourself, well for me anyway
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, your pathologist, lv-gras and 1 other person
O

Origim

Member
May 14, 2018
6
I get to points where its like i lose the ability to talk, the anxiety is so bad i freeze up and feel like a deer in headlights. Other times i just completely lose all motivation and sit helplessly

It sounds like me, word by word.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Lra888, your pathologist and 1 other person
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
I get to points where its like i lose the ability to talk, the anxiety is so bad i freeze up and feel like a deer in headlights. Other times i just completely lose all motivation and sit helplessly
U expressed it so perfectly.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, your pathologist and lv-gras
I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
Yes. Many days I lay on my bed doing nothing, my head flooded with anxiety and depression, thoughts racing. I sometimes cannot speak to others - if I attempt a sentence I trail off because my attention is diverted by my anxiety. Cannot read : by the time I get to the end of the paragraph i've forgotten the beginning—my eyes follow the lines of text but I retain nothing. My severe depression makes me chronically exhausted.
Sam here
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Lra888 and your pathologist
Jen Erik

Jen Erik

-
Oct 12, 2018
637
The terror of being forced to continue living, with no way out (yet), feels like a stab right in the stomach
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals and Lra888
Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,140
The terror of being forced to continue living, with no way out (yet), feels like a stab right in the stomach
Same. I feel claustrophobic/trapped. Consciousness & physical existence are painful & exhausting. I never feel "happy". I have to get the fuck out of here.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, Going Home, I’vehadenough and 1 other person
Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,140
Yes. Many days I lay on my bed doing nothing, my head flooded with anxiety and depression, thoughts racing. I sometimes cannot speak to others - if I attempt a sentence I trail off because my attention is diverted by my anxiety. Cannot read : by the time I get to the end of the paragraph i've forgotten the beginning—my eyes follow the lines of text but I retain nothing. My severe depression makes me chronically exhausted.
I told this to my therapist yesterday- how I am at the point of not being able to function or take care of myself, no desire to continue, always mentally sick. She said I should probably be hospitalized or go into assisted living. In my head I was thinking DEATH.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals and Jen Erik
nzdarkshark

nzdarkshark

The Loved Mistake
Sep 4, 2018
400
I've found that I'm actually rather disconnected from reality recently - like I'm just going through it with half a consious.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals
I’vehadenough

I’vehadenough

Elementalist
Sep 15, 2018
847
I told this to my therapist yesterday- how I am at the point of not being able to function or take care of myself, no desire to continue, always mentally sick. She said I should probably be hospitalized or go into assisted living. In my head I was thinking DEATH.
You're better off dead than being hospitalized
 
  • Like
Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals and Going Home

Similar threads

nothingbutmybest
Replies
0
Views
221
Suicide Discussion
nothingbutmybest
nothingbutmybest
N
Replies
2
Views
117
Suicide Discussion
WhiteRabbit
WhiteRabbit
opheliaoveragain
Replies
24
Views
456
Suicide Discussion
opheliaoveragain
opheliaoveragain
Tig
Replies
6
Views
186
Suicide Discussion
Forever Sleep
F