Story Every day I imagine what it would be like to have someone by my side

[Crematoryy]

Walking hand in hand and talking lovingly -- that is my greatest dream. I imagine and reimagine this scenario every day, but this world has denied me these things, which are considered simple by other people (but which they do not value because they do not know their absence). I cursed this horrible world that denied all my desires. I will continue to hate this infamous existence until my hatred overflows. I was forced to go crazy in my own mind to meet this emotional demand. That is why I have contempt for life.

 

[bladeeluvr444]

I hope you somehow find somebody I know it isn't easy but you deserve it, much love.

 

[Apokryphiel]

but this world has denied me these things, which are considered simple by other people (but which they do not value because they do not know their absence).

Truer words have never been spoken. There's no greater hell than true solitude. The absence of anyone at all who can understand you.

 

[Outofoptions1]

I had this person in my life and I hurt them so badly that I've now lost them forever. They were my everything and I can't carry on without her.

OP, it is fine to look for love and companionship but please don't make the mistake I made and depend on another person for your whole well being. That's my advice.

 

[Michi_Violeta]

What you feel is so human, so tragic yet beautiful in its own sense, that it's what drives Frankenstein's creature in the novel. The creature is pure, innocent, they just want to love and be loved and the world denies them that feeling of belonging and care. They ask Dr. Frankenstein for a creature just like them so they can be alone together, when that request is denied they turn to hatred: they dedicate their life to revenge on the creator that refused to give them the one thing every creature deserves, the love of an equal.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be patronizing or anything, I'm just saying that what you feel is so valid that it's an essential part of the plot in one of mankind's most beautiful novels. It hurts, like a motherfucker. I know. I'm considering catching the bus because I had that, walking hand in hand and talking with loving words, and life took it away. I used to sleep with a beautiful soul next to me, now I sleep with a jar of SN under my bed. Some people may tell you it's not a reason to feel contempt for life, but Mary Shelley would say otherwise...

 

[escape_from_hell]

I had this person in my life and I hurt them so badly that I've now lost them forever. They were my everything and I can't carry on without her.

OP, it is fine to look for love and companionship but please don't make the mistake I made and depend on another person for your whole well being. That's my advice.

same. three years now for me.

 

[Outofoptions1]

same. three years now for me.

How have you managed? It's been not even 2 months for me and I'm not sure how to even begin carrying on, hence imminent plans to ctb

 

[escape_from_hell]

How have you managed? It's been not even 2 months for me and I'm not sure how to even begin carrying on, hence imminent plans to ctb

abusing drugs sad to say. cannabis and kratom. cannabis made it worse for a while. kratom is the only way i can gather my wits to start planning my death i.e. i want to have everything easy cleanup and no stress on family but the simple preparation is taking me a long time and kratom sustain me and lets me get ready for it at least

 

[Outofoptions1]

abusing drugs sad to say. cannabis and kratom. cannabis made it worse for a while. kratom is the only way i can gather my wits to start planning my death i.e. i want to have everything easy cleanup and no stress on family but the simple preparation is taking me a long time and kratom sustain me and lets me get ready for it at least

I feel that... Instead of drugs I've been indulging in food. Whatever gets us through the day right? :(

 

[Zaphkiel]

same. three years now for me.

2 years exactly, give or takes 1 week.
Still coping.
@Outofoptions1 time will do its things the best it can mostly. The best thing is trying to get it to pass the fastest possible.

 

[tiredoflife2]

Been single for so long now I can't even remember what it's like being with someone. Seems to be a lot more common nowadays than when I was younger. The internet has definitely made people more isolated.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Truer words have never been spoken. There's no greater hell than true solitude. The absence of anyone at all who can understand you.

Those r things I don't need : a romantic relationship, any kind of "love" , any kind of relationship with a human.

 

[Meatismoz]

abusing drugs sad to say. cannabis and kratom. cannabis made it worse for a while. kratom is the only way i can gather my wits to start planning my death i.e. i want to have everything easy cleanup and no stress on family but the simple preparation is taking me a long time and kratom sustain me and lets me get ready for it at least

Do your eyes get constrained and dilated asf when you drink Kratom?

I used to love taking it for my chronic fatigue but people started to say it looked like I was on opioids or something

Haven't found any solution or reason to this

 

[ilvgore]

yeah, lost the person I thought was going to be my husband.
But at that time I wasn't ready to fully commit and understand how deeply I feel for him, also i supressed my feelings, because i felt like losing him.
I knew this behaviour would drive people away, so naturally I decided to get away from them
[thanks anxious attachment]
Feel like I was cursed to suffer:(
stupid thinking patterns that I can not change on my own without therapy but is it even worth it? Don't wanna do this for too long
I think we should try and be our most authentic self so we can pull the people that will stay, but I just couldn't at that time, I met the right person at the wrong time.

 

[DegenerateLoser]

Walking hand in hand and talking lovingly -- that is my greatest dream. I imagine and reimagine this scenario every day, but this world has denied me these things, which are considered simple by other people (but which they do not value because they do not know their absence). I cursed this horrible world that denied all my desires. I will continue to hate this infamous existence until my hatred overflows. I was forced to go crazy in my own mind to meet this emotional demand. That is why I have contempt for life.

Maybe in another existence we will share this experience together.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I know. I wanted that too. I'm practically an old man now and I know it's just not going to happen. Usually I just don't care anymore. Sometimes it still hurts a little. I'm convinced it's because I'm so shockingly repulsive no one could ever.

 

[BlueButterfly111]

I had that, but now he's gone, I was so lucky to have experienced that, it's one of the most beautiful things in this life. I didn't realize how much until after he was gone… Life has become empty again without him, hopefully I can go join him again in death soon.