Hi,
I cannot share this with my close friends or with my family, because I do not want to bother them with this. I do not want to make them uncomfortable, I do not want to be worried for too long.
My life is empty. I have a great career, loving friends. I am single and it's difficult to live, been trying to date many people over the last 5 years but it's the same ending each time. I am in good shape, I know Im pretty, everything in my life is leading me towards a very comfortable one. But I feel empty, and do not enjoy any of those things any longer.
I have been thinking of this for 3 years now, and I believe I have found a solution to slowly fall asleep and never wake up. I would like to ask you if I am wrong, because I do not want to suffer during my last moments. I would like a peaceful ending, with my favourite songs playing in the background. I'm another country, so that my relatives do not get traumatised when my body is found (which will be found quickly).
I intend to get pretty drunk. A few glasses of vodka at first. Then start that playlist I have created for the opportunity. There will be, home, envelopes for all of my loved ones, with a last letter and a video on a USB stick, for all of them, to let them know about my last thoughts, and tell them I had a peaceful ending. I already started to pack my stuff in boxes to make it easier for everyone.
I would then eat about 1700mg of flurazepam (I have my ways to get it – won't write the commercial version of the molecule), and wait. Either inside a comfy environment, or in the snow, to maximise the chances with hypothermia, which I wouldn't feel that much thanks to the vodka.
I am not looking for encouragement, nor methods to improve my chances of dying; I know the science behind it, and I know I will die. I am pretty sure this will work in the way I expect it to work. I would just like to make sure the ending will be as peaceful as possible. Could somebody tell me if it will, indeed, be peaceful? I don't want scary hallucinations, or choking in my vomit. I have the right to do whatever I want with my life, and this is one of my rights. The will to stop aging, the will to avoid a chance of becoming handicapped in some way and become a liability for my loved ones. The will to avoid getting an horrible sickness, while I am still doing okay, and being forced to go through it. I do not want all of those bad things in life, though the reason for my choice is much deeper.
I appreciate the time you spent reading my post.
Lots of love to everyone
I cannot share this with my close friends or with my family, because I do not want to bother them with this. I do not want to make them uncomfortable, I do not want to be worried for too long.
My life is empty. I have a great career, loving friends. I am single and it's difficult to live, been trying to date many people over the last 5 years but it's the same ending each time. I am in good shape, I know Im pretty, everything in my life is leading me towards a very comfortable one. But I feel empty, and do not enjoy any of those things any longer.
I have been thinking of this for 3 years now, and I believe I have found a solution to slowly fall asleep and never wake up. I would like to ask you if I am wrong, because I do not want to suffer during my last moments. I would like a peaceful ending, with my favourite songs playing in the background. I'm another country, so that my relatives do not get traumatised when my body is found (which will be found quickly).
I intend to get pretty drunk. A few glasses of vodka at first. Then start that playlist I have created for the opportunity. There will be, home, envelopes for all of my loved ones, with a last letter and a video on a USB stick, for all of them, to let them know about my last thoughts, and tell them I had a peaceful ending. I already started to pack my stuff in boxes to make it easier for everyone.
I would then eat about 1700mg of flurazepam (I have my ways to get it – won't write the commercial version of the molecule), and wait. Either inside a comfy environment, or in the snow, to maximise the chances with hypothermia, which I wouldn't feel that much thanks to the vodka.
I am not looking for encouragement, nor methods to improve my chances of dying; I know the science behind it, and I know I will die. I am pretty sure this will work in the way I expect it to work. I would just like to make sure the ending will be as peaceful as possible. Could somebody tell me if it will, indeed, be peaceful? I don't want scary hallucinations, or choking in my vomit. I have the right to do whatever I want with my life, and this is one of my rights. The will to stop aging, the will to avoid a chance of becoming handicapped in some way and become a liability for my loved ones. The will to avoid getting an horrible sickness, while I am still doing okay, and being forced to go through it. I do not want all of those bad things in life, though the reason for my choice is much deeper.
I appreciate the time you spent reading my post.
Lots of love to everyone
