nottinghams
Official Written Apology for Being a Buzzkill
- Apr 15, 2024
- 279
so I just want to warn: I am not trying to freak anybody out. What went wrong with my ctb is a unique situation. I wasn't even revived with Narcan.
It seemed perfect. I had seven syringes, all topped with water mixed in with my whole spread of fentanyl. 700 mg. Each syringe has 3 mL of liquid in it.
I considered the possibility that it was impure. A test strip I did revealed that it was actually fent for sure. I didn't consider how impure it could be.
I was told the lowest in most cases was 10%. So 10% pure fentanyl in 700 mg of powder equals 70 mg in strength. This is more than enough to kill a person.
I had used some of my stash previously to test and even to gain some relief. I sort of felt some relief, but it did take more than I thought to get there. It was surprising, considering fentanyl's lethality.
I thought, even if my leftover stash only equal 7 mg of fentanyl in power (if it had 1% purity that is) that would still be more than enough.
I stuck all seven syringes into my leg at once and pushed the plungers as fast as I could. I did not go immediately unconscious. It took about five minutes to even feel anything. about 10 minutes after that to feel so tired I couldn't lift my head.
If I was dying, I would've had two hours left alone. Which is plenty of time to be alone and not be revived with Narcan. But I was not even revived with narcan. after those two hours were up people found me and awakened me from sleeping. They awakened me naturally, they had no idea I tried to use fentanyl to ctb. After that I vomited several times, was terribly dreary and had difficulty walking, so they called the ambulance. I was delivered to the hospital and asked questions, even about my mental health. I lied and said I took away too much Adderall, for fun, not to kill myself. Nobody has any idea I tried to kill myself with fentanyl with those syringes.
I keep thinking back to when I had to use a little more than necessary (fentanyl) To feel barely anything, and that was just recreationally.
Since I wasn't even revived with Narcan, and just awakened normally, I wonder what went wrong with my suicide?
I'm terrified. I desperately want to use fentanyl to ctb.
did I somehow not use enough? was the purity really that bad? was it actually fentanyl? is there anything wrong with MY body?
some of the mods on this forum have tried to assure me that there is a solution to this and I can still use fentanyl to suicide, i don't have to find something different. and I am inclined to agree. The problem with my method seems fixable.
Now I invite other users to explore with me, what went wrong and perhaps help me fix it. It was very distraughting when I was woken up. I am scared and want to still be able to suicide with this method.
Please help me (if you can)
It seemed perfect. I had seven syringes, all topped with water mixed in with my whole spread of fentanyl. 700 mg. Each syringe has 3 mL of liquid in it.
I considered the possibility that it was impure. A test strip I did revealed that it was actually fent for sure. I didn't consider how impure it could be.
I was told the lowest in most cases was 10%. So 10% pure fentanyl in 700 mg of powder equals 70 mg in strength. This is more than enough to kill a person.
I had used some of my stash previously to test and even to gain some relief. I sort of felt some relief, but it did take more than I thought to get there. It was surprising, considering fentanyl's lethality.
I thought, even if my leftover stash only equal 7 mg of fentanyl in power (if it had 1% purity that is) that would still be more than enough.
I stuck all seven syringes into my leg at once and pushed the plungers as fast as I could. I did not go immediately unconscious. It took about five minutes to even feel anything. about 10 minutes after that to feel so tired I couldn't lift my head.
If I was dying, I would've had two hours left alone. Which is plenty of time to be alone and not be revived with Narcan. But I was not even revived with narcan. after those two hours were up people found me and awakened me from sleeping. They awakened me naturally, they had no idea I tried to use fentanyl to ctb. After that I vomited several times, was terribly dreary and had difficulty walking, so they called the ambulance. I was delivered to the hospital and asked questions, even about my mental health. I lied and said I took away too much Adderall, for fun, not to kill myself. Nobody has any idea I tried to kill myself with fentanyl with those syringes.
I keep thinking back to when I had to use a little more than necessary (fentanyl) To feel barely anything, and that was just recreationally.
Since I wasn't even revived with Narcan, and just awakened normally, I wonder what went wrong with my suicide?
I'm terrified. I desperately want to use fentanyl to ctb.
did I somehow not use enough? was the purity really that bad? was it actually fentanyl? is there anything wrong with MY body?
some of the mods on this forum have tried to assure me that there is a solution to this and I can still use fentanyl to suicide, i don't have to find something different. and I am inclined to agree. The problem with my method seems fixable.
Now I invite other users to explore with me, what went wrong and perhaps help me fix it. It was very distraughting when I was woken up. I am scared and want to still be able to suicide with this method.
Please help me (if you can)