Story Failed suicide attempt yesterday

[RideOrDie]

I'm a second year university student. I just got left by my friend in the dorm room yesterday, and immediately when I'm alone I just suddenly drown in this unexplained sadness. It just comes out of nowhere, and I can't even describe how suffocating the feeling is. I don't know what to do, and all I can think of is wanting to cry and thoughts of ending my life. I had planned to end it yesterday. I did the low hanging, strapped a belt around my neck and hanged it on the stairs of the bunk bed. Just as I dropped to my knees, I perfectly found the spot of my carotid and started to lose vision. As I started losing vision, I stopped myself. I couldn't do it. There was this fear at the brink of death that always comes. I had attempted this before and just like before I stopped myself before falling unconscious. I'm scared, but I don't want to continue to be tortured like this everyday. What do I do? I'm thinking of finding someone to assist me with this, or someone to die with. Maybe I'm just scared of dying alone, I'd imagined someone would be holding my hand and it would be a peaceful sleep. As much as possible I don't want to do it by the low hanging method. I know most would want to die in their sleep, how do I do that? As of today, I don't have a roommate and I'm crying while typing this down. I have an online class in a few moments, and I can't get my head straight. I'm in the Philippines by the way.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that if I knew the way to die in my sleep I would already be gone. To pass away in my sleep is what I want more than anything, but I think that only really old people die that way. Also euthanasia isn't legal in most countries, I know that some people are able to access it but not where I live.

I'm sorry that you went through a failed attempt. The fear of failure is why I have never attempted. Hanging scares me so much, it makes it sound easier when you hear of all the people succeeding with it but in reality it can be difficult. I understand being desperate to leave and to me it's awful how life can torture us in so many ways. I hope that you find freedom from your suffering. Best wishes.

 

[tiny_dancer]

I'm sorry for your suffering and what you are going through.

 

[Mocon33]

I'm a second year university student. I just got left by my friend in the dorm room yesterday, and immediately when I'm alone I just suddenly drown in this unexplained sadness. It just comes out of nowhere, and I can't even describe how suffocating the feeling is. I don't know what to do, and all I can think of is wanting to cry and thoughts of ending my life. I had planned to end it yesterday. I did the low hanging, strapped a belt around my neck and hanged it on the stairs of the bunk bed. Just as I dropped to my knees, I perfectly found the spot of my carotid and started to lose vision. As I started losing vision, I stopped myself. I couldn't do it. There was this fear at the brink of death that always comes. I had attempted this before and just like before I stopped myself before falling unconscious. I'm scared, but I don't want to continue to be tortured like this everyday. What do I do? I'm thinking of finding someone to assist me with this, or someone to die with. Maybe I'm just scared of dying alone, I'd imagined someone would be holding my hand and it would be a peaceful sleep. As much as possible I don't want to do it by the low hanging method. I know most would want to die in their sleep, how do I do that? As of today, I don't have a roommate and I'm crying while typing this down. I have an online class in a few moments, and I can't get my head straight. I'm in the Philippines by the way.

I support the right of people to ctb if that is what they really want, but you really need to be sure because there is no going back. There is no hurry, give it a month and think it through, make sure this is really what you want.

 

[thebunny]

hi, fellow filipino! i'm sorry you're going through such pain and dread and i'm sorry to hear that you've had a failed attempt. SI can really be a bitch sometimes. however, as for someone accompanying you, i don't think that's a great idea as the other party could be charged with assisted murder or being an accomplice to murder (unless they're ctb with you), especially here in our country.

also, please don't do anything impulsively. if you want to ctb, i hope you think about it thoroughly and that you're really set on leaving.

anyway, i hope you find the peace you deserve soon. hit me up in chat if you ever need company or someone to talk to