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Hiraeth

Hiraeth

Trying to be better. 🫶🏻
Nov 3, 2018
63
The worst part about being suicidal is failing. I tried a partial suspension method and my fucking cat ended up stopping me.. I'm the weakest fucking person ever. I always fail and I know the only foolproof way is by gunshot or N and I can't get either yet. I don't even want to attempt anymore because I know that no matter what i do in life, i'm destined to fail.
 
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Macc Lad

Macc Lad

Specialist
Jan 22, 2019
300
The worst part about being suicidal is failing. I tried a partial suspension method and my fucking cat ended up stopping me.. I'm the weakest fucking person ever. I always fail and I know the only foolproof way is by gunshot or N and I can't get either yet. I don't even want to attempt anymore because I know that no matter what i do in life, i'm destined to fail.

you gotta love cats though! maybe the times not quite right yet......you'll get there!
 
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LongSeason

LongSeason

Member
Dec 14, 2018
83
you gotta love cats though! maybe the times not quite right yet......you'll get there!
Exactly, Once you're finally ready nothing will stop you.
 
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HelensNepenthe

HelensNepenthe

Thoughtful poster
Jan 17, 2019
835
The worst part about being suicidal is failing. I tried a partial suspension method and my fucking cat ended up stopping me.. I'm the weakest fucking person ever. I always fail and I know the only foolproof way is by gunshot or N and I can't get either yet. I don't even want to attempt anymore because I know that no matter what i do in life, i'm destined to fail.
This is what happened when my dog Big Dude walked in. He just stared at me when I was about to partial.
 
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21Neberg

21Neberg

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2018
1,624
I always fail

Don't say that! I have faith in you that you'll be able to pull through with it eventually. Suicide is hard, don't bully yourself for not succeeding the first time.
 
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T

TiredHorse

Enlightened
Nov 1, 2018
1,819
The worst part about being suicidal is failing. I tried a partial suspension method and my fucking cat ended up stopping me.. I'm the weakest fucking person ever. I always fail and I know the only foolproof way is by gunshot or N and I can't get either yet. I don't even want to attempt anymore because I know that no matter what i do in life, i'm destined to fail.
Please, please, go easy on yourself. The failing is exhausting, and demoralizing to a degree I never imagined possible before I had to endure it. Take some time to rest and be kind to yourself. If you're trying to ctb, you're already hurting too much, and beating yourself up won't help you move forward in any direction.

As for gunshot, I can promise you that isn't so easy as you might imagine. Just because it's only a trigger pull away doesn't make it any easier to pull the trigger. I expect drinking the N is no easier.

Human survival instinct is insanely strong, no matter what method you're attempting, and partial is one of the hardest methods to succeed at. Hell, I've failed six times with eb/N2, one of the gentlest methods there is. Partial? I wouldn't have a chance.

As for your cat --sometimes our critters know best. Maybe your cat knew it wasn't the right time? Or maybe she just didn't want you to leave. Whatever the reason, I can promise you that you're not the only person on this forum who has survived because of feline intervention.
 
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Feline

Feline

I am Purity, they call me Perverted.
Jan 24, 2019
61
I couldn't agree more. Well said.

Please, please, go easy on yourself. The failing is exhausting, and demoralizing to a degree I never imagined possible before I had to endure it. Take some time to rest and be kind to yourself. If you're trying to ctb, you're already hurting too much, and beating yourself up won't help you move forward in any direction.

As for gunshot, I can promise you that isn't so easy as you might imagine. Just because it's only a trigger pull away doesn't make it any easier to pull the trigger. I expect drinking the N is no easier.

Human survival instinct is insanely strong, no matter what method you're attempting, and partial is one of the hardest methods to succeed at. Hell, I've failed six times with eb/N2, one of the gentlest methods there is. Partial? I wouldn't have a chance.

As for your cat --sometimes our critters know best. Maybe your cat knew it wasn't the right time? Or maybe she just didn't want you to leave. Whatever the reason, I can promise you that you're not the only person on this forum who has survived because of feline intervention.
 
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