• UK users: Due to a formal investigation into this site by Ofcom under the UK Online Safety Act 2023, we strongly recommend using a trusted, no-logs VPN. This will help protect your privacy, bypass censorship, and maintain secure access to the site. Read the full VPN guide here.

  • Hey Guest,

    Today, OFCOM launched an official investigation into Sanctioned Suicide under the UK’s Online Safety Act. This has already made headlines across the UK.

    This is a clear and unprecedented overreach by a foreign regulator against a U.S.-based platform. We reject this interference and will be defending the site’s existence and mission.

    In addition to our public response, we are currently seeking legal representation to ensure the best possible defense in this matter. If you are a lawyer or know of one who may be able to assist, please contact us at [email protected].

    Read our statement here:

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 34HyDHTvEhXfPfb716EeEkEHXzqhwtow1L
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
SoulWhisperer

SoulWhisperer

Severe Medical Phobia « MtF »
Nov 13, 2023
475
(Silly post I think, but it's bugging me)

Today I woke up with the thought "Man, I'd love to become a Vtuber and join hololive" (For those who don't know, it's an "influencers agency" and getting in it is NOT easy AT ALL) and ever since it's been stuck in my head.

It became one of the perhaps many dreams I wish I could achieve in my life. But to what avail? I keep dreaming, while in reality I'm light-years away from my goals. Sure I can improve or adjust myself to achieve then MAYBE. But would it be realistic of me considering I never actually changed myself for the better? Not so.

So here we are. Me wishing to be alone away from stress, me wishing to have a good job. Me wishing to become a famous streamer. It just pains me.

I don't want to kill myself and wish I could grasp onto the many opportunities and paths in life. But I feel like out of all of them I can't physically reach out for any. I'm desperately stuck to be a nobody that hates themselves. I'm not even a girl, that drastically reduces my chances to achieve this specific dream considered I never see male members on the team besides maybe 1 or 2.

This might sound stupid but I really claim "I'll do it in the next life" assuming I will eventually be reborn and have better chances of achieving my dreams. If that exists then next life I'm gonna rid myself of all this pain and go full steam ahead charging at my dreams. Bit if I'm wrong, oh, oh... How much have I lost. One single life and I didn't reach any of the dreams that could bring me the closest thing to "everlasting happiness" in my mind. Quite a shame, isn't it? How foolish I am.

I have no idea where the future will take me, if I'll CTB or not. If a miracle will happen or not, but right now I'm still dreaming. I'm a dreamer, a desperate one. Who knows?

I also wonder if anyone feels similarly or not. I'd love to hear about your relationship with your dreams and your current life too. ❤️
 
  • Love
Reactions: remluvr
remluvr

remluvr

Trying to Find Forever peace.
Jun 17, 2024
65
I sadly have no dreams..BUT I do hope you're able to achieve yours in this life or the next <33 I've seen some of your posts and you seem extremely sweet ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: SoulWhisperer

Similar threads

BlueButterfly111
Replies
6
Views
218
Suicide Discussion
divinemistress36
divinemistress36
PassiveDeath113
Replies
6
Views
290
Suicide Discussion
PassiveDeath113
PassiveDeath113
febuary
Replies
8
Views
440
Suicide Discussion
Ferreter
Ferreter
Unhumanly.
Replies
4
Views
175
Offtopic
bnkshawty
bnkshawty
R
Replies
3
Views
187
Suicide Discussion
Jadeith
J