Fake it till you make it

[Hhhhhh]

This is my family's motto except all of them are still super miserable despite "powering through the pain". Also a lot of doctors have said this to me which is the worst. tbh a lot of cbt and dbt just appears to revolve around this concept. The people doing these programs seem to be trying to convince themselves they're happy. Is that the secret? is this really the best we've got?

 

[BlackPoppet]

Really? I didn't realised that CBT and DBT therapists go for the " fake it til you make it " thing. I've not yet encountered that, within the CBT that I've had. Why do you think they promote that idea? Genuinely curious!

 

[Deleted member 1465]

This is my family's motto except all of them are still super miserable despite "powering through the pain". Also a lot of doctors have said this to me which is the worst. tbh a lot of cbt and dbt just appears to revolve around this concept. The people doing these programs seem to be trying to convince themselves they're happy. Is that the secret? is this really the best we've got?

It's what I've done all my life. It led me here.

 

[Hhhhhh]

Really? I didn't realised that CBT and DBT therapists go for the " fake it til you make it " thing. I've not yet encountered that, within the CBT that I've had. Why do you think they promote that idea? Genuinely curious!

yeah they kinda do sometimes . idk it depends on the doctor but ive had some really bad ones that push this idea

 

[BlackPoppet]

yeah they kinda do sometimes . idk it depends on the doctor but ive had some really bad ones that push this idea

I'm in UK so that's probably why I've never heard of it. Where are you from? The bad doctor's that you speak of sound a tad irresponsible.....in my humble opinion.

 

[Hhhhhh]

I'm in UK so that's probably why I've never heard of it. Where are you from? The bad doctor's that you speak of sound a tad irresponsible.....in my humble opinion.

canada. we have free healthcare but our mental health stuff is still garbage

 

[BlackPoppet]

canada. we have free healthcare but our mental health stuff is still garbage

yeah same in UK.....especially London. Well that's where I live anyway. I'm from The Westcountry in the southwest of England originally. Our mental health services here are utter shite. I have a friend from London, Ontario! :-)

yeah same in UK.....especially London. Well that's where I live anyway. I'm from The Westcountry in the southwest of England originally. Our mental health services here are utter shite. I have a friend from London, Ontario! :-)

Canada is part of the British Commonwealth, so that's why both Canada and UK have socialised heath care......if you called call it health care.

 

[Skelebirb]

I shit you not, I've been told "fake it 'til you make it" and "what you resist persists" in the same breath.

 

[BlackPoppet]

I shit you not, I've been told "fake it 'til you make it" and "what you resist persists" in the same breath.

omg really?? Wow!

 

[Beautiful_Disgrace]

I've faked it for so long, I ended up waking up one day and realizing that my entire personality was fake and was only leading me to fake relationships with people who don't know me and would probably never be friends with me if they did.

And I never made it, even after 10 years of faking it lol.

 

[Kumachan]

I shit you not, I've been told "fake it 'til you make it" and "what you resist persists" in the same breath.

Sounds like some law of attraction ideas...

 

[WhiteDespair]

A better translation is to do that which is uncomfortable until you become able to do it without negative thoughts or feelings.

Sort of like aversion therapy.

 

[Epsilon0]

In my case: fake it, until faking it becomes who you are and it's no longer faking it, but your true self.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

There is some wisdom here. It's analogous to muscle memory: if you begin using a muscle in a particular way, it makes it easier to continue to use it in that way. Runners keep running, baseball players develop a personal swing and, though it sounds corny, people who smile at first eventually smile more often.

The problem is that this maxim is of little use all by itself. It's become a sound byte, a cliche, an adage easily thrown around but rarely explained.

If you change nothing but your ability to pretend, all you'll get good at is pretending. If you change your attempts to actually do something, you'll do that thing even better. That's what they're trying to say. That you should take the steps required to become successful even if you're not becoming successful yet.

This saying has more in common with "try, try again" than it does with "dress for the job you want." Problem is, almost no one explains it that way.