Fake love/happiness is infinitely worse than nasty but honest hate/bitterness.

[SpiritualDeath]

lmao. it's true whether you like it or not.

If used right, nasty but honest hate can be very beneficial even valuable. If you see a person full of hate and you evaluate their information, it has the potential to open your eyes to very harmful things that you were not aware of before, and you can then stay away from them. Fake happiness does nothing but perpetuate delusions and false hope, which are proved to be infinitely harmful in the long term. It's sad that people are this repulsed by the idea of hate, that they're often in denial that they're people with hate as well, and would rather pretend to be "happy", "nice", "open-minded", etc.

I get this constant feeling that I have to fake literally everything when I'm around people. Even the most fundamental social norm, where you answer "fine" when people ask you "how are you", is mostly faked (at least for me it's the case). Such thing is trivial. Such conversation has lost its actual meaning and become a bare social norm for a loooooooong time, but it still influences people in a very harmful way no matter if you realize this or not. It's even worse if it's subtle and no one realizes this, and people continue to fake things and see faking things as the "norm". That's one of the reasons I avoid being around people. Such conversation is to be avoided as much as possible. It's not only useless but toxic.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Yes, it's true.
I think hate is a very honest emotion because there is nothing to hide.
Yet, fake niceness is full of lies and exhausting to be around and perpetuate.

 

[tiger b]

Somewhat agree.

Opinion: Happiness is a transitory feeling and feelings don't have to be conditional. There is some, or a lot, of element of choice in it. Is it fake? It's whatever label you put on it. I don't see how hope comes into it.

However, I definitely agree about people who make it obvious they should be avoided, and your second paragraph. I think convention does come about because of safety, as well as wanting not to be unlocked. But yeah, I find it boring and shallow - get on with it! - and when someone deviates from the norm quickly, I feel like I'm actually communicating with a human not...an NPC.

I'm not sure I'd use the same word as hate, maybe dislike or loathe, but semantics eh.

 

[SpiritualDeath]

Happiness is a transitory feeling and feelings don't have to be conditional. There is some, or a lot, of element of choice in it. Is it fake?

When I said "fake" I mean when people deliberately act happy (put on masks) even though they know they're not 100% happy, or deliberately choose to filter out every single "negative" information in their conversations because it makes them look bitter, weird, full of hate, not likable etc. Believe me people do this A LOT.

If you're genuinely 100% happy, that's fine. If you're blind to any direct bad experience during an activity just to only focus on the happiness, you're delusional. If you say to someone that something is making you very happy while in reality it's not always the case, you're deluding them and giving them false hope, because they'll potentially be influenced by you and start having unrealistic expectations on that thing you said (expect that thing to also bring them the level of happiness you described, when the reality is covered by lies). That's why it's bad, and it's even worse if people do this, put on masks and lie about things just to be accepted, or gain social recognition, and be totally blind to how much harm it could cause.

Even I, as a person who see the "social games" people play as utter stupidity, often find it hard to escape this evil web of conventions and lies. When I talk to people most of the time I still have to lie, just so that I don't act too weird and get any unwanted attention. It's pathetic honestly. That's why I try to avoid people as much as possible.

 

[tiger b]

They are utter stupidity on the most part to me (even though I see some value in them for certain others), I feel like I have to be able to play them because of my job (when my health actually permits me to go and earn money!). They can make me weary and some I just refuse to play.

I guess I get bored of many aspects of convention way too easily.

Did you ever watch Colombo? I think he was a master of appearing not clued in when all along he was reading everything. Sometimes I think that's the best approach to social transactions, just let them not realise you're sharper than you seem. I'm too idealistic to keep to that consistently, though.

 

[SpiritualDeath]

I feel like I have to be able to play them because of my job (when my health actually permits me to go and earn money!)

That's one of the reasons why I want to ctb actually. I know that the realization doesn't make me any smarter than others, because I'm not completely free from these games as well. If I want to be alive I'll eventually have to be a part of the games somehow, and I'll inevitably perpetuate the stupid circus that's negatively influencing everyone. I can't figure out how to live and not suffer/cause harm (probably no way lol).

I think he was a master of appearing not clued in when all along he was reading everything. Sometimes I think that's the best approach to social transactions, just let them not realise you're sharper than you seem.

For me the games are not worth playing at all, let alone inventing a new game to "play smart", after the realization that even the most subtle things that people say in daily life have the potential of causing great harm.

 

[tiger b]

'I can't figure out how to live and not suffer/cause harm (probably no way lol)'

I'd like this, too.

...a quote:

"I want to walk in snow/And not leave a footprint".

Dr Eric M Berne, who wrote on transactional analysis, pointed out that there's birth and death and the bit in between was passing time. The point of games, even social games, ultimately was passing that time - viewed that way, not playing games is actually a game, too.

As you say then, probably no way!

 

[real person]

words cannot describe how much i agree with this