Help Fear of jumping

[miseryonearth]

So I went to jump from 15 storey building as I live on 9th floor. I couldn't jump as lot of questions kept arising in my mind. Just watching the ground from that height scared me and had doubt what If I survived. I asked DeepSeek AI about jumping and it said that death is sure from that height and it would be instantaneous but still I couldn't do it.

I have only one day to jump before I leave this place. My engagement is fixed on 18th and marriage on 25th and I don't want to marry as I have erectile dysfunction and I am jobless. That girl is marrying because of my assets. I know I am a loser as I have wasted my time mostly on DotA 2(10000+ hrs), Animes and Porn. I haven't learned anything except cooking. I have been a loner since childhood and never had close friends to share my personal problems and thoughts. I have two elder sisters and both are married and now I am 30 years old with no job since I completed my graduation.

I really don't want to live but couldn't get myself jumped from building. How to overcome this fear of getting pain or being survived for few minutes. Give me some ideas.

 

[technicallyAlive]

Im sorry your struggling so bad. I dont know of this will help, but ive always struggled with depersonalization disorder and while sometimes its scary it can be helpful for getting me through shit. I know you cant really give yourself that disorder, especially not in such a short timeframe but you can try 'cognitive reframing'. its something ive been doing since i was a kid, convincing myself to view things one way when in reality its another. I don't know if i explained that well, but maybe you can try to trick yourself into believing that this is a dream and that your not really jumping? or something like that. I'm sorry I cant really explain it well but I hope you get what I'm trying to say regardless?<:]