Feeling hopeless

[soda_pressed]

I feel I have no where left to turn, so I'm going to write this here.

I want to die so badly, but I feel if I ctb it would kill my family.
But I hate living so much, so I feel forced to live for them.

Most of my friends have left me because of depression and illnesses, I have literally two left.
I feel sick between a rock and hard place (living and killing myself).

Does this happen with anyone else?

 

[Weems]

I'm in the same situation. Goddamn I know it's gonna hurt for my parents and brothers.

 

[Lara Francis]

I feel I have no where left to turn, so I'm going to write this here.

I want to die so badly, but I feel if I ctb it would kill my family.
But I hate living so much, so I feel forced to live for them.

Most of my friends have left me because of depression and illnesses, I have literally two left.
I feel sick between a rock and hard place (living and killing myself).

Does this happen with anyone else?

Hi.
This will sound a familar situation for many.
I really do relate to how you feel as I share your thoughts.
I am glad that you found us and hope we can help and you no longer feel alone and without a place to turn.
As unfair as it is,i think many people (including friends) become scared and run from things they dont understand ie depressson and do not know what to say or do.
I dont think we should feel forced to live for others with the exception of having dependant children.
I am a widowed single parent and live each day for my son.It is a constant struggle because i want to die too.
What things have you tried or have you made a definate decision to ctb ?

 

[StillWaiting]

I wish to be out of my misery but I cant find the energy to find a method that will work perfectly for me.
I dont really have friends to talk either.
No one wants to deal with people who suffer from depression because it is tiring to deal with them and they dont benefit from people like us.
I am just waiting for something to force me to. Nothing feels real anymore.

 

[Karma]

The first thing I said to myself when I read this title was

"Aren't we all"

And it's true, I have the same issue, I only have one loved one left and no friends so I am borderline gone just hanging on for a short bit at this point.

But I know it won't last for long, so for now i'm waiting till I have nothing / no one and can go in peace.

 

[Roger]

The first thing I said to myself when I read this title was

"Aren't we all"

And it's true, I have the same issue, I only have one loved one left and no friends so I am borderline gone just hanging on for a short bit at this point.

But I know it won't last for long, so for now i'm waiting till I have nothing / no one and can go in peace.

You and me both.

 

[soda_pressed]

Hi.
This will sound a familar situation for many.
I really do relate to how you feel as I share your thoughts.
I am glad that you found us and hope we can help and you no longer feel alone and without a place to turn.
As unfair as it is,i think many people (including friends) become scared and run from things they dont understand ie depressson and do not know what to say or do.
I dont think we should feel forced to live for others with the exception of having dependant children.
I am a widowed single parent and live each day for my son.It is a constant struggle because i want to die too.
What things have you tried or have you made a definate decision to ctb ?

Unfortunately. I feel like a lot of people can't be bothered with friendships the minute things get tough.
You sound like a very kind and considerate person for trying to continue living for your son.

I've suffered from depression since I was 14 and I'm 21, tried therapy in different forms, was put on meds for a bit but nothing really helped.
Made the decision to ctb but I've had two failed attempts

 

[JoeFailure]

Hi.
This will sound a familar situation for many.
I really do relate to how you feel as I share your thoughts.
I am glad that you found us and hope we can help and you no longer feel alone and without a place to turn.
As unfair as it is,i think many people (including friends) become scared and run from things they dont understand ie depressson and do not know what to say or do.
I dont think we should feel forced to live for others with the exception of having dependant children.
I am a widowed single parent and live each day for my son.It is a constant struggle because i want to die too.
What things have you tried or have you made a definate decision to ctb ?

I'm sorry to hear that and can't imagine how it must feel to have lost your partner. Not saying it makes it better or anything, but I kind of wish I had a purpose like a child to make me want to stay here more.

Unfortunately. I feel like a lot of people can't be bothered with friendships the minute things get tough.
You sound like a very kind and considerate person for trying to continue living for your son.

I've suffered from depression since I was 14 and I'm 21, tried therapy in different forms, was put on meds for a bit but nothing really helped.
Made the decision to ctb but I've had two failed attempts

I'm sorry you feel like that at your age, and I don't know your other circumstances, but I'd give anything to be that age again. But I do understand about depression, I had it too at that age and while I didn't try to ctb, and that's probably good because I was really dumb and would've ended up paralyzed or something, I was struggling. While I made very questionable decisions after, I did end up blossoming more in other ways after that as I explored the world more.

Those friendships unfortunately may not be real. But at least you know now and you would have so much time to find your real friends. There are people who are real, tried and true friends. I'm lucky enough to have a couple. One of them I didn't meet until later in my 20's and he and his wife are awesome. I didn't tell them about my financial situation but when I moved to Chicago last year, they immediately said to stay with them and don't worry about rent until I found a place. And that was a place that cost like $2400 a month.

Point is I guess, if you stick around, you will meet more and more people and will hopefully meet at least a couple of the right ones. But that's without knowing anything else that's going on with you.