I was diagnosed at an early age. I think it has helped me see the world for what it truly is, bad and good. It has also stifled my social life, work abilities, destroyed my romantic relationships. And made me an overly cynical asshole that almost no one understands. Who else on here has this gift/curse? And does it play a role in your ideation/plans?
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Johnnythefox
Que sera sera
- Nov 11, 2018
- 3,129
I am currently waiting for an appointment for a diagnosis, been a couple of months now. I have traits and behaviours which certainly identify as autistic, the major one being difficulty in forming and sustaining relationships. I think many people on here have autism and maybe are unaware, a positive diagnosis for me would certainly answer a lot of questions.
52shriek
Student
- Nov 6, 2018
- 112
Yup, mild Asperger's syndrome here. Mild enough that I could pass for functioning all my life (albeit in a weird, depressive way), but real enough that I want to kill people when they downplay it and tell me "oh get over yourself, so you have quirks, that doesn't make you special. Just deal with them like everyone else does".
I'm a bit skeptical, but a few people have brought it up before. I'm not sure what you mean by how has it changed your ideation/plans
I just mean does it tie in with a person's said psychological issues that add to the desire to ctb. With me it is a combination of all the above mentioned things. I love that I see the world differently, but It is also my single biggest curse. Overall I am tired of the fight.
52shriek
Student
- Nov 6, 2018
- 112
Yes, I feel like a lifetime of feeling misundertood has definitely made my depression worse. Well... Not so much misunderstood as inadequate, alienated, always feeling like I'm the one constantly making efforts to adjust to others while very few are willing to adjust to my own needs.
FornaxMM
Death is scared of me.
- Nov 25, 2018
- 17
I'm not autistic but I'm a psychopath which has made me a social outcast my whole life, The only friends I've been able to keep were autistic people who understood not being socially "Normal". I've been called crazy more times than i can count I've been told I should check into an insane asylum several times, I've been fired from multiple jobs for "Disturbing other employees", everybody isolates me and then they wonder why i want to die...
logic.
logic.
GhostedToast
Wants to disappear
- Sep 25, 2018
- 144
I have Aspergers. To me it's been getting exhausting making myself try to pass as normal and the career field that im interested in so help me if i don't try to act normal I'll probably not be able to make it. I've had meltdowns alot more recently and I'm to where i want to go before i end up experiencing a "burnout". Over time i feel I've started losing skills that I've developed in seeming normal. I didn't get diagnosed until 11 or 12, I'm 18 now and no matter what i do or what i try it feels like I'll never be able to fit in. I've been bullied most of growing up due to not fitting in and I've never really been able to form a close bond to my family to where it feels im closer to my dog. It playd in a bit with my plans because im tired of having to try to force myself to go into situatiins that are overestimating just to please others or nit be questioned to why i dont go out and do things.
Bluedew
Old and tired. Ready for this to be over !
- Nov 8, 2018
- 25
My feelings exactly ! I'm supposedly ASD
He said I might have mild autism. But I still think I might be schizoid. I can relate on being overly cynical and no one understands you part. I no longer care whether other understand or not. As long as I am right and do my part I dont give a f about them. I only answer to myself, my conscience.
52shriek
Student
- Nov 6, 2018
- 112
Apparently I'm going for an assessment in January, possibly towards an official diagnosis. The system here sucks though so I'm not expecting much. But at least I'd like to stick around until then.
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,925
I'm 28 years of age, and I have Aspergers syndrome, which is a developmental disorder on the autism spectrum disorder. Yes, it does wreck havoc on my social life, work life, as well as relationships with other people, and getting around in life (in general). I'd say it's been more of a curse than a gift for me as it's made my life difficult in a lot of aspects. I'm also too far gone (socially and developmentally speaking) to ever catch up or get on the level that normies are on (not that I'd want to anyways).
Jodes
Enlightened
- Nov 23, 2018
- 1,261
You and I must be kindred spirits.
Simba
Missunderstood Potato
- Dec 9, 2018
- 754
I have HFA/ Aspergers' syndrome too, and alot of people with autism don't really get me.. like i also have depression an suicidal thoughts an all an like when i was in school its like they didn't get me... All that ever mattered to me was wanting to have friends.. to belong somewhere.. but i don't always understand the social stuff an it just makes me feel more sad and depressed.. im 22 an i feel like life is passing me by, i really don't see a point in being alive if i cant even achieve friendships, it's not fair tbh... All i saw in school was everyone in their tiny little groups, and where am i???? im left to myself.. i did have a friend in 13th year of school but they took him away from me, even class assistant was like once "is this what you chose today? To be sad ?" She didn't understand, and SHE'S supposed to be a special ed class assistant ? i had another friend about 1 or 2 years ago and it was online he lived in USA an he understood me.... But now he hates me, apparently he was using me all along and i never even knew it... I have other problems too but it sucks that u don't even really know how to make friends.. like i know how to talk to people, but how the fuck do you even form a friendship ? How will you know if your friends an all that shit ? The ONLY one good thing about school, was that i did all of my SATs. That's it.
