R
rian 69
Member
- Feb 11, 2025
- 33
Fentanyl. No doubt we've all heard about the crisis and my guess is a bunch of us have a connection to someone who OD'd on it either accidentally, purposefully or the intent just won't be known.
I am new here - less than a week. I'll put my personal details aside except to say I am 69, was a lawyer who went on SS disability 15 years ago 90% cause of MH anxiety disorder/panic attacks lots and as always depression wrapped around it. It eased up a bit after then my Mom died (too soon after I moved back home) and she was not just my best friend but really my only true friend. No other family to speak of. Then Covid isolation and now just isolation.
I've had ideations forever. As my "brain"disease has progressed with all types of treatments tried and either useless or made things even worse, I am now not just thinking about and looking for a peaceful out choice but am much more inclined cause this is not a temporary problem and some recent events lead me to believe Alzheimer's is now on the table.
Back to fentanyl - there was a time many,many years ago (think high school, college, even law school and early law days when finding a credible source would not have been a problem. I was not a major drug user but, on occasion did partake. It sure seems to me that the PPH, here too, Fentanyl isn't mentioned or barely mentioned. Talk of doing all sorts of obtaining various components, chemicals, etc.
So for me fentanyl seems perfect if I had access to it. Clearly it's all around me (I live on east coast of US) but I'm not mobile, have no connections or even possible connections. I have talked to docs I know off the books about pain relief because getting scripts for real stuff is like almost impossible. Guess they're afraid that old people like me will all of a sudden become addicts e en though back in the day I had a bunch of delicate surgeries and getting oxys was not a big deal. The addiction stories were way overblown.
Just seems like there'd be more talk and interest in it as a peaceful and dependable exit and it really takes very, very little to do the trick.
Makes me wonder why, I guess. You hear bout going to Mexico or South America to maybe get lucky and find nembutyl and then guess how much you need and pray it makes it home without being found out.
And we talk (and I've tried various forms of so far useless and sometimes painful hanging) but not about the obvious. I just don't get it.
I am new here - less than a week. I'll put my personal details aside except to say I am 69, was a lawyer who went on SS disability 15 years ago 90% cause of MH anxiety disorder/panic attacks lots and as always depression wrapped around it. It eased up a bit after then my Mom died (too soon after I moved back home) and she was not just my best friend but really my only true friend. No other family to speak of. Then Covid isolation and now just isolation.
I've had ideations forever. As my "brain"disease has progressed with all types of treatments tried and either useless or made things even worse, I am now not just thinking about and looking for a peaceful out choice but am much more inclined cause this is not a temporary problem and some recent events lead me to believe Alzheimer's is now on the table.
Back to fentanyl - there was a time many,many years ago (think high school, college, even law school and early law days when finding a credible source would not have been a problem. I was not a major drug user but, on occasion did partake. It sure seems to me that the PPH, here too, Fentanyl isn't mentioned or barely mentioned. Talk of doing all sorts of obtaining various components, chemicals, etc.
So for me fentanyl seems perfect if I had access to it. Clearly it's all around me (I live on east coast of US) but I'm not mobile, have no connections or even possible connections. I have talked to docs I know off the books about pain relief because getting scripts for real stuff is like almost impossible. Guess they're afraid that old people like me will all of a sudden become addicts e en though back in the day I had a bunch of delicate surgeries and getting oxys was not a big deal. The addiction stories were way overblown.
Just seems like there'd be more talk and interest in it as a peaceful and dependable exit and it really takes very, very little to do the trick.
Makes me wonder why, I guess. You hear bout going to Mexico or South America to maybe get lucky and find nembutyl and then guess how much you need and pray it makes it home without being found out.
And we talk (and I've tried various forms of so far useless and sometimes painful hanging) but not about the obvious. I just don't get it.