suffering
Too p*ssy to end it, too suicidal to leave
- Aug 17, 2018
- 398
I'm trying to get back to work because I'm too much of a coward to ctb (I have a background in engineering) and have applied to tens of jobs world wide. No answer.
Back in the days (7 years back) I used to be showered with offers and I had quite good self esteem. Now I feel like the IT world has transformed itself (maybe it was like this forever?) into
1. Big players (governments, big corporations, banks, old money etc) - big time manipulators
2. The fakers (project managers etc) - who suck c**** from category 1 and manipulate with a smile of their face
3. The losers (developers, engineers, etc) - code monkeys, usually from poorer countries, workaholics, etc - who are not even aware of their condition.
I used to be proud to be an engineer...
I'm too aware to carelessly go back to [3] again and the competition is too high for small money and high effort. I'm too honest (and with quite a "rebel" CV - I worked with gaps, tried projects on my own etc) to be considered for [2] - I would also fall into a prejudiced category because I wasn't born into the right geographical coordinates.
I check my e-mail every day. "No new messages". Yesterday I got one though - "we will be considering other applicants".
Why won't they just let me die? Why don't they just shoot me?
Back in the days (7 years back) I used to be showered with offers and I had quite good self esteem. Now I feel like the IT world has transformed itself (maybe it was like this forever?) into
1. Big players (governments, big corporations, banks, old money etc) - big time manipulators
2. The fakers (project managers etc) - who suck c**** from category 1 and manipulate with a smile of their face
3. The losers (developers, engineers, etc) - code monkeys, usually from poorer countries, workaholics, etc - who are not even aware of their condition.
I used to be proud to be an engineer...
I'm too aware to carelessly go back to [3] again and the competition is too high for small money and high effort. I'm too honest (and with quite a "rebel" CV - I worked with gaps, tried projects on my own etc) to be considered for [2] - I would also fall into a prejudiced category because I wasn't born into the right geographical coordinates.
I check my e-mail every day. "No new messages". Yesterday I got one though - "we will be considering other applicants".
Why won't they just let me die? Why don't they just shoot me?