TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,890
So recently as I've just come home from a long trip in Europe, I've managed to ascend and succeed in my long time goal, which is losing my virginity in such a way. This brings me a lot of hope and eased my woes. So here is a little background of my situation from the start. Over the last few years, I feared that I would never lose my virginity (including even outright paying for it) and it really bothered me a lot not only due to the stupid label of 'virginity' and being judged for it (yes that is a factor but not the main one), but rather never experiencing sexual intercourse and forever being unaware of what it feels like (emotionally and physically). Also, I figured that given how I lacked in physical attractive, social skills, and other things needed to be sexually successful, I came up with the plan of the most direct, easiest way to obtain my goal (which is to have sexual intercourse and lose my virginity). I am not going to debate or argue whether I could of or not by normal means. After all, I do believe that everyone pays for sex one way or another (whether it is via good physical attractiveness, money, status, etc.).
I have recently turned 29 years of age (in the month of October) and I didn't want to be a wizard or be a virgin in my 30's or 40's even. I am a very logical and direct person, so what I did was the most logic thing I could ever do, which is to pay for sex in places where it is legal and make sure that the person (escort) I wanted services is ok with that (both I and her consented and then I paid upfront and both me and her went at it). Luckily, it all worked out. I could get into all the ethical and moral debates about buying/selling sex, but I won't as that is another topic altogether. I am not religious at all so I have no qualms with that either. At any rate, after losing my virginity and experiencing what I wished to experience, I felt a peace of mind and some hope that at least I am still able to obtain what I wish to obtain and fulfill my curiosity, which greatly helped move forward. I would not be that wizard (30 year old virgin), or 'possibly' go through my entire life without experiencing sexual intercourse and die a virgin. Personally, I think sex work (as long as both parties consented to it and the provider isn't coerced, trafficked, and/or abused) should be legal as there are more benefits to having legal work than not. It is one of the only ways that someone who isn't able to compete with the vast majority of people who still want sexual experiences is able to get them. Also for the non-virgins, if they wanted to have some fun and fulfill sexual urges from time to time (or if that's what they do as a hobby), then it's more power to them so there is that benefit as well too.
Now that things are looking up for me, I have gotten much less suicidal than before and not really bogged down with much dread. I still like to keep my method for the future because part of having a method and an exit is relief for myself. My method is a firearm and ever since I obtained my own (almost a year ago), I always kept it hidden away from everyone I know IRL. However, my living arrangements will change in a few months and would likely be moving home with parents (even for the interim), so I need to find ways to hide my method and/or not lose it (just in case the future does get shitty). I have thought about storing my firearm with licensed gun dealers for a fee per month and then getting it once I move out on my own again in the future future. The only caveats I see to that (correct me if I'm wrong) is that once you hand over your firearm for storage at an FFL or any licensed gun dealer, you'd have to constantly fill out Form 4473's in order to get the firearm back to your possession and also, entrusting the storage of your firearm to an third party (gun dealers).
Finally with some special thanks, I'd like to give to @EatingRawCocoa for helping me out with advice and tips, this wouldn't have been possible with his advice and help. Also, if @TiredHorse is reading this or people who are in contact with him is able to relay this to him, let him know that I have achieved what I wish to achieve and have more hope for the future now and at more peace than before. I also want to thank him for being supportive and helpful all over the months and enjoyed his company.
I'll also stick around with this community as it's helped me during my recent darkest times of my life, back in 2018 and chunks of 2019. I also enjoy the company and atmosphere of this place. It's always great to be around like-minded people and those who can relate to our plights that most other people IRL wouldn't be able to.
I have recently turned 29 years of age (in the month of October) and I didn't want to be a wizard or be a virgin in my 30's or 40's even. I am a very logical and direct person, so what I did was the most logic thing I could ever do, which is to pay for sex in places where it is legal and make sure that the person (escort) I wanted services is ok with that (both I and her consented and then I paid upfront and both me and her went at it). Luckily, it all worked out. I could get into all the ethical and moral debates about buying/selling sex, but I won't as that is another topic altogether. I am not religious at all so I have no qualms with that either. At any rate, after losing my virginity and experiencing what I wished to experience, I felt a peace of mind and some hope that at least I am still able to obtain what I wish to obtain and fulfill my curiosity, which greatly helped move forward. I would not be that wizard (30 year old virgin), or 'possibly' go through my entire life without experiencing sexual intercourse and die a virgin. Personally, I think sex work (as long as both parties consented to it and the provider isn't coerced, trafficked, and/or abused) should be legal as there are more benefits to having legal work than not. It is one of the only ways that someone who isn't able to compete with the vast majority of people who still want sexual experiences is able to get them. Also for the non-virgins, if they wanted to have some fun and fulfill sexual urges from time to time (or if that's what they do as a hobby), then it's more power to them so there is that benefit as well too.
Now that things are looking up for me, I have gotten much less suicidal than before and not really bogged down with much dread. I still like to keep my method for the future because part of having a method and an exit is relief for myself. My method is a firearm and ever since I obtained my own (almost a year ago), I always kept it hidden away from everyone I know IRL. However, my living arrangements will change in a few months and would likely be moving home with parents (even for the interim), so I need to find ways to hide my method and/or not lose it (just in case the future does get shitty). I have thought about storing my firearm with licensed gun dealers for a fee per month and then getting it once I move out on my own again in the future future. The only caveats I see to that (correct me if I'm wrong) is that once you hand over your firearm for storage at an FFL or any licensed gun dealer, you'd have to constantly fill out Form 4473's in order to get the firearm back to your possession and also, entrusting the storage of your firearm to an third party (gun dealers).
Finally with some special thanks, I'd like to give to @EatingRawCocoa for helping me out with advice and tips, this wouldn't have been possible with his advice and help. Also, if @TiredHorse is reading this or people who are in contact with him is able to relay this to him, let him know that I have achieved what I wish to achieve and have more hope for the future now and at more peace than before. I also want to thank him for being supportive and helpful all over the months and enjoyed his company.
I'll also stick around with this community as it's helped me during my recent darkest times of my life, back in 2018 and chunks of 2019. I also enjoy the company and atmosphere of this place. It's always great to be around like-minded people and those who can relate to our plights that most other people IRL wouldn't be able to.
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