Help Friends not interacting with me

[HowSoonIsNow]

Idk what I've done but I feel like they're ignoring me or getting tired of me, idk if I did something wrong or I'm just being annoying....my friend took an entire day to answer me, I'm sad but idk if I should take this personally since I have BPD.

 

[Chischek]

Hmmm a day is not that long really, I have a few people in my life that I get along with but sometimes it takes me ages to reply (weeks/months), it doesn't mean I'm tired of them or annoyed at them. Maybe they are busy? Try to distract uourself with something you like... do you have any hobbies you enjoy?

 

[aneurysm]

my friend took an entire day to answer me

I take weeks.

one little trick I have found is that when I am sad that someone doesn't respond to me, I call or text someone who usually spam me but whom I ignore. Like, if you have someone who often try to reach out to you but that you usually ignore, reaching out to that person is where healing is.

... thought I know it's easier said. I hope you feel better soon <3. Also, you can still reach out to people here.

 

[HowSoonIsNow]

Hmmm a day is not that long really, I have a few people in my life that I get along with but sometimes it takes me ages to reply (weeks/months), it doesn't mean I'm tired of them or annoyed at them. Maybe they are busy? Try to distract uourself with something you like... do you have any hobbies you enjoy?

I bought a bass last week but I kinda suck at it yet, it's keeping me busy while I'm not feeling okay to work

I take weeks.

one little trick I have found is that when I am sad that someone doesn't respond to me, I call or text someone who usually spam me but whom I ignore. Like, if you have someone who often try to reach out to you but that you usually ignore, reaching out to that person is where healing is.

... thought I know it's easier said. I hope you feel better soon <3. Also, you can still reach out to people here.

I feel very embarrassed if I spam someone gjbkgkkkk but I'll give it a try next time, thanks for the kind words

 

[Disappointered]

I totally relate to this. As others stated, a day isn't usually considered very long. But I think, objectively, if someone doesn't respond after three days that's considered rude. If they are already friends and usually respond within a day then three days would be good evidence that something is way wrong. Even one day would bother me if it was unusual though.

 

[HopelessFight]

I have BPD as well and have the same issue. I just cannot see the difference between someone not responding because they have legit reasons (like really being busy) or being ignored. It's extremely tough to deal with.

 

[whywere]

I totally agree with some of the other folks here as far as I too have BPD and it makes it darn tough not only to deal with but to keep friends. Now maybe, just maybe one day is not too long, BUT and here is where the kicker might come in, as far as if someones friend(s) KNOW that one has BPD, then if they are true friends they might want to adjust just a little to accomdate a person some. I do not have any friends, except all my global family here, but when I have had jobs before I have told people around me about my BPD. Yes, a few would not be so nice too me after knowing about my BPD, BUT at least I knew from the get go who I could trust and work with on the job. Walter

 

[Sherri]

Well if they are not replying quickly they could be busy if not it happened to all of us, you have no idea the amount of friends I've lost since depresssion came, people expect us to be joly all the time. If we are not they get bored with us easily. Just my personal experience,

 

[Capr1k1d]

Agree with everything people have said above. I find the same now too, especially if people who I care about don't respond. I assume there's an issue, and if you're not careful, by asking you do make an issue. Its very hypocritical of me because up until this point, I was one of the worst at replying, normally if I was busy or forgotten to charge it! I think in one of the questionnaires I was made to complete something like this was asked, so I imagine it's one of the symptoms. I know I spend much more time on social media now. Hard as it is, try not to worry. Hope that helps

 

[HowSoonIsNow]

I totally relate to this. As others stated, a day isn't usually considered very long. But I think, objectively, if someone doesn't respond after three days that's considered rude. If they are already friends and usually respond within a day then three days would be good evidence that something is way wrong. Even one day would bother me if it was unusual though.

I'm oversensitive, I admit it haha

I totally agree with some of the other folks here as far as I too have BPD and it makes it darn tough not only to deal with but to keep friends. Now maybe, just maybe one day is not too long, BUT and here is where the kicker might come in, as far as if someones friend(s) KNOW that one has BPD, then if they are true friends they might want to adjust just a little to accomdate a person some. I do not have any friends, except all my global family here, but when I have had jobs before I have told people around me about my BPD. Yes, a few would not be so nice too me after knowing about my BPD, BUT at least I knew from the get go who I could trust and work with on the job. Walter

Yea, sometimes I wish that people remembered that in the end I'm someone dealing with an extreme mental illness

Agree with everything people have said above. I find the same now too, especially if people who I care about don't respond. I assume there's an issue, and if you're not careful, by asking you do make an issue. Its very hypocritical of me because up until this point, I was one of the worst at replying, normally if I was busy or forgotten to charge it! I think in one of the questionnaires I was made to complete something like this was asked, so I imagine it's one of the symptoms. I know I spend much more time on social media now. Hard as it is, try not to worry. Hope that helps

I'm trying to distance myself from people to avoid this kind of suffering:/

 

[stygal]

I don't know, I sometimes find it hard to keep a conversation going...it feels like everything has been said already and also I don't want to come off as too pushy (having to talk to that person all the time) that's why it takes me a long time to respond.

 

[HowSoonIsNow]

I don't know, I sometimes find it hard to keep a conversation going...it feels like everything has been said already and also I don't want to come off as too pushy (having to talk to that person all the time) that's why it takes me a long time to respond.

Makes sense!

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Idk what I've done but I feel like they're ignoring me or getting tired of me, idk if I did something wrong or I'm just being annoying....my friend took an entire day to answer me, I'm sad but idk if I should take this personally since I have BPD.

Here's a hug from afar. But I have to admit I'm not familiar with that first word in your title. What is this "friends"?

 

[Disappointered]

I'm oversensitive, I admit it haha

I'm also oversensitive. it causes problems for me and others. well, there aren't many others left so mostly just me.

Anyway, if after 3 days still no response, something is wrong. Could be something other than you or could be the person is intentionally ignoring you because they don't like/respect you. after 3 days you've every right to try to get to the bottom of it and cut them loose if need be.

 

[Capr1k1d]

I'm oversensitive, I admit it haha

Yea, sometimes I wish that people remembered that in the end I'm someone dealing with an extreme mental illness

I'm trying to distance myself from people to avoid this kind of suffering:/

If nothing else, you have people on here willing to respond - I've only just logged on and seen you'd responded and the first thing I've done is reply and look at the number of other people that have too. I don't know if its similar to you but I struggle with social media and WhatsApp in general in that I spend a lot of time on them at the expense of other things. All that is going on in the world with covid doesn't help either as it cuts down the things you can do to distract you. Its something I need to work on too. Maybe try only looking at your phone at certain times each day. That way if people don't reply straight away it won't seem as long? Sadly people who don't want to know when times are bad arent worth knowing, hard as it can be to take and some people just don't know what to say. Equally I've found that some people who weren't necessarily my best friends have really come through and made an effort to understand or at least listen, so don't cut yourself off from people. I know its a bit of a long reply but I hope it helps. Take care

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

When I think of some friends I first think how long it's been since I messaged them and they didn't reply. But I'm practising patience and unconditional love and all that stuff. Currently I have two in mind; one is about a year, the other maybe six weeks. Any day now...