Story Going to Beachy Head Tonight

[Kit1]

I am going to go to Beachy Head tonight to spend a few hours there and hope I am not going to be found by the patrols (happened once before at night time). I will leave the car somewhere else not to be seen.

I am not planning in ending my life - though the temptation is there, I really cannot afford to end my life as that would be unfair on the children. Hoping to return home tomorrow morning.

However if I don't post again within a couple of days, please consider me gone - really hoping that I will make it back.

Thank you for all the people who have listened, shared their stories and advise and just listened. When I said that this site replaced the NHS or my GP (in my case) - actually aleveryone who took the time to listen, share your stories and advise and be there for each other replaced my medical care.

I hope and wish that every single one of you will be okay - whatever okay means to you. Take care, dear friends.

 

[Dot]

Jst wn2 ask -- if u d/ nt wn2 end ur lfe wld vistng a plce whre u mght end ur lfe b a gd idea

Wht r ur motvatns fr vistng

 

[Forever Sleep]

I hope you get what you want out of your trip. I do understand. I travelled to a bridge once. Not with the idea of doing it. Almost as a test to see how I would feel. Plus, how easy it would be to get over the barrier etc. I hope you can feel whatever you need to feel there. I expect many of us will be around if you feel you want to chat.

 

[Kit1]

I am not intending to end my life today. Tempted, but my children will always come first. But I have been really struggling for the past few weeks and I need a point to hit the reset button and sitting alone just listening to the waves and winds and seeing the sea might help me calm down - the danger is if I dissociate and then I will be gone (and not out of choice). Thank you for your support and for reaching out.

For some reason, I cannot log on to the forum when I am outside the house - not sure why. So unfortunately I will not be able tomupdate or reach out once I leave the house - which I am planning to do so in a couple of hours.
Just going to take a quick nap before I leave..,
Just going to take a quick nap before I leave..,

 

[Dot]

For some reason, I cannot log on to the forum when I am outside the house - not sure why. So unfortunately I will not be able tomupdate or reach out once I leave the house - which I am planning to do so in a couple of hours.

Ur moble phne netwrk mght hve blockd th/ ste

U shld b abl t/ accss wth a free vpn app

 

[Kit1]

Back home. Beachy Head was beautiful today - dark, clear sky with so much visibility of the stars. Very cold.

Dot, you were right about accessing the forum. Inwas able to access it through vpn. Thank you for the advice.

Wish I could have died out there. However my children will always first and I will continue to try and keep alive for asmlong as they need me.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

You're a good mom

I'm glad it was so beautiful up there, I hope it has given you some energy to go on for now.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Sounds like a beautiful night! Your so strong and such a great mom!!

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm glad you got to enjoy the stars. It must have taken a lot of strength to return to your children and like everyone else has said- you're a good Mum for doing it. I hope you can find some time to be kind to yourself today.