Going to have abortion tomorrow, i hope i die of complications in a way. then i won’t have to ctb.

[Final Escape]

Today is the day b4 my abortion. I'm more anxious about having to see the father, since he's taking me there. The guy is a dick but at least he's willing to pay for it. I guess I hope I can work through it, and hopefully I can prevent this in future. I'm kind of embarrassed going to the clinic being as old as Iam lol! I'm gonna be the oldest lady there probably. I've unfortunately had previous abortions in my 20's because birth control with hormones didn't work well for me. The real issue is not having had a stable commitment with anyone who would be a good provider and ok with having a kid in the event I got pregnant. Iam not a fan of single motherhood but I had a broken picker so I chose men unwisely. Anyway, I'm not looking forward to the shit feelings after abortion. There's a sudden drop in hormones and you go through an emotional period because u feel different afterwards. You don't leave unscathed after an abortion although it solves your immediate problems.

 

[ScaredOfLife]

I'm sorry you have to go through that again. I will keep you in my thoughts.

 

[Lara Francis]

My thoughts are with you.x

 

[TheSternal]

So sorry to hear that FinalEscape. I know you had regrets about your previous abortions in other threads and how you disagree with some things about abortion. Maybe keeping this child is what is actually best. You can give your child up for adoption to a loving family and give it the life most of us never had. You'll be able to die then knowing your child is growing up to live a great life.

Im very pro choice on suicide but don't let it change your view on the possibility of your baby growing up to live a life full of happiness. I know some of us here haven't experienced that life but many other people have and do.

 

[Fucking loving it]

I get this.

 

[Brokenanddeadinside]

Really sorry you have to go through that.

 

[Final Escape]

So sorry to hear that FinalEscape. I know you had regrets about your previous abortions in other threads and how you disagree with some things about abortion. Maybe keeping this child is what is actually best. You can give your child up for adoption to a loving family and give it the life most of us never had. You'll be able to die then knowing your child is growing up to live a great life.

Im very pro choice on suicide but don't let it change your view on the possibility of your baby growing up to live a life full of happiness. I know some of us here haven't experienced that life but many other people have and do.

I can't even get myself off the couch I'm so depressed and fatigued. If I were to keep the baby I would probably have to be commited to a mental health crisis center. I don't have the energy and support to go through this. On top of it I'm resentful about being pregnant by that guy I never even wanted to have sex with, it was a pressured situation. After this abortion I might attempt suicide because I'm struggling badly with life in general. The abortion will probably push me over the edge because of the after effects. Sorry I'm so selfish and bitter, unable to see anything positive about this at all. I'm extremely stubborn and difficult to talk out of my abortions even though I'm aware I'm hurting myself and an unborn baby. The anger about the whole thing is overwhelming. Maybe it's not just anger, but I have some difficult, reluctant feelings about becoming a mother.

 

[TheSternal]

FinalEscape I know how you're feeling being so depressed and fatigued that it sucks the life out of you. I'm so sorry about what you are experiencing, I sent you a private message. Everything you're feeling is understandable and I just wanted you to know that I support you!

 

[typx]

Thank you for not condemning another child.

 

[MEoDP]

Thank you for making that responsible decision. It really irks me when people mindlessly have kids. There are all sorts of people out there who have absolutely no business becoming a parent. that includes people who themselves are living unfulfilling lives and forcing children into it.

Even if the abortion process doesn't kill you,at the very least you'll be able to CTB without having to worry about leaving behind a child in need.

 

[Tiburcio]

Apart of the typical people encouraging to do stupid choices like keeping the baby (...), I'm glad to see there is some people who have sense about the matter and knows this is the right thing.

 

[MEoDP]

Apart of the typical people encouraging to do stupid choices like keeping the baby (...), I'm glad to see there is some people who have sense about the matter and knows this is the right thing.

I once made a thread about this on r/childfree about why I strongly believe that abortion is the more ethical choice over giving a child to adoption. I've deleted my account however so its no longer available,but summary of it is,by choosing to give a child to adoption(or worse...the foster care system),you expose them to the risk of ending up a failure in life and suffering. I've said before that I was once an Adamant Antinatalist,and it is because there's no denying that giving birth is essentially gambling with another person's life. you have no idea how the birth itself will turn out (kid could be born disabled),or whether they'll find true happiness in life.

I can understand people who've reached self-actualization having children,but too many people out there are so stupid and ignorant that they'll give birth in even the shittiest of circumstances. (i.e Poor people having children,people having kids during a freaking war,parents choosing to keep a baby they know will be born disabled,etc.)

 

[Tiburcio]

I once made a thread about this on r/childfree about why I strongly believe that abortion is the more ethical choice over giving a child to adoption. I've deleted my account however so its no longer available,but summary of it is,by choosing to give a child to adoption(or worse...the foster care system),you expose them to the risk of ending up a failure in life and suffering. I've said before that I was once an Adamant Antinatalist,and it is because there's no denying that giving birth is essentially gambling with another person's life. you have no idea how the birth itself will turn out (kid could be born disabled),or whether they'll find true happiness in life.

I can understand people who've reached self-actualization having children,but too many people out there are so stupid and ignorant that they'll give birth in even the shittiest of circumstances. (i.e Poor people having children,people having kids during a freaking war,parents choosing to keep a baby they know will be born disabled,etc.)

I see. I'm a full antinatalist but I better won't share anything, some people I won't name think my thoughts are too... "dark" for this place.

 

[MEoDP]

I see. I'm a full antinatalist but I better won't share anything, some people I won't name think my thoughts are too... "dark" for this place.

Great to meet someone who can also resonate with the philosophy. I'd like to show you something on PM tomorrow,related to the topic,I think you'd be interested. It would probably turn into a time consuming discussion however and I wanna play my games soon so I'll leave it for tomorrow.

 

[Tiburcio]

Great to meet someone who can also resonate with the philosophy. I'd like to show you something on PM tomorrow,related to the topic,I think you'd be interested. It would probably turn into a time consuming discussion however and I wanna play my games soon so I'll leave it for tomorrow.

I don't know, I don't have body for discussing about anything and not will at all, and every discusdion have a negative impact on me which is the last thing I need. Bad to say I have to refuse it, sorry.

 

[MEoDP]

I don't know, I don't have body for discussing about anything and not will at all, and every discusdion have a negative impact on me which is the last thing I need. Bad to say I have to refuse it, sorry.

Alright,its cool. I just wanted to show a conversation I had on reddit that made me...hesitate a little on the belief. While I'm overall not convinced by the guy(I think the result was largely my fault for not arguing well enough),I felt the points he brought up were interesting to ponder about.