Ya know, it's funny, we say goodbye yet there's nothing "good" about it. The fact that my life has gotten to the point where this is the only option is severely depressing and mind numbing. If you ran 1000 simulations of my life and potential, this by far would of been the worst outcome, and yet it's the one that actually happened. I can no longer handle the hell I am forced to live in and tolerate the pain and agony. I guess, the only "good" that will come from this is that the suffering will finally be over.
At the time of writing, I had ingested 27 enteric 00 capsules containing approximately 27g of SN. Currently waiting for them to make their way down to my small intestine and work their magic. I have been taking copius amounts of Quetiapine since I got the script yesterday, and will be taking Dramamine, Pepto-Bizmol, Emetrol and Ibuprofen here in a little while. While I wait, I will be listening to ocean sounds to soothe me, and also listen to a song I recently discovered while watching Severance. It's called "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald", and is about 29 sailors who died. It is calming and has a catchy tune, but also is eerie at the same time as it's about people perishing, so I feel like it is the perfect song for the occasion.
If I do not post again by the next 12-24 hours, you will either know it was successful, or it took too long and I was found by my family before it could be completed and was taken to a hospital. And then most likely a psych ward stay after that.
Also, just wanted to thank everyone on here. It has been such a loving, caring and insightful community. The discourse I have had with members of this site has been very helpful and calming, as it allowed me to work out what my next attempt would be. I wish everyone the best of luck on their future endeavors.
Peace
At the time of writing, I had ingested 27 enteric 00 capsules containing approximately 27g of SN. Currently waiting for them to make their way down to my small intestine and work their magic. I have been taking copius amounts of Quetiapine since I got the script yesterday, and will be taking Dramamine, Pepto-Bizmol, Emetrol and Ibuprofen here in a little while. While I wait, I will be listening to ocean sounds to soothe me, and also listen to a song I recently discovered while watching Severance. It's called "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald", and is about 29 sailors who died. It is calming and has a catchy tune, but also is eerie at the same time as it's about people perishing, so I feel like it is the perfect song for the occasion.
If I do not post again by the next 12-24 hours, you will either know it was successful, or it took too long and I was found by my family before it could be completed and was taken to a hospital. And then most likely a psych ward stay after that.
Also, just wanted to thank everyone on here. It has been such a loving, caring and insightful community. The discourse I have had with members of this site has been very helpful and calming, as it allowed me to work out what my next attempt would be. I wish everyone the best of luck on their future endeavors.
Peace
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