Growing tired of my boyfriend

[struggles_inc]

I'm just really tired of him being uninterested in having a rich conversation with me. I talk about something and he's only engaged if we argue. When I share my interests with him, he gives me the cold shoulder. It seems like he's only interested in proving he's right, and so when we argue, even when his point is absurd, he will push it to extremes.
I don't really talk about it, but the topics he's interested in are very limited. He would talk to me - barely - about video games and anime, and even then we would most likely argue, because he doesn't like my opinions on certain aspects. I feel bored trying to talk to him about politics or culture or languages. I speak 6 languages, 4 of them fluently (a little flex here sorry), and I tried to engage him in learning. However, all he does is provide reasons to why he's not doing that. And when we talk politics, I just can't tolerate that for long, because he becomes aggressive.
I tried to get him to read more literature. Recently I've been rereading Dostoevsky because of Silent Hill 2, and I recommended my bf to read more. He never did.

I find myself talking to other men sometimes. Nothing intimate, of course. I just have some very intelligent coworkers, mostly middle aged, who have so many great experiences and knowledge to share. I know my boyfriend doesn't strive to become like those men and it makes me so fucking depressed. I don't care about looks, most of men I admire look really tired, but it seems that I have a taste for smarts. Something my boyfriend doesn't want to upgrade.

My mom tells me he's not my type. That I should dump him. I'm really tired of those conversations, too. So I have no one to share this information with. Please don't judge me for bringing this personal matter here. I'm sorry if I hurt someone's feelings.

I don't really know what to do or why I even shared that. He's just texting me right now, and as usual we're having a half-assed interaction again.

 

[uniqueusername4]

Do you want to break up with him? Maybe you could write a pros/cons list about the relationship. It should definitely improve/add value to your life, not take away from it. It sounds like you need more mental stimulation. I wonder if there is a reason he only talks about these few things? Is he on the spectrum? Sometimes autistic people can't read social cues that someone is tired of hearing about a topic and it is one they are really excited about, so they want to share with anyone who will listen.

 

[struggles_inc]

Do you want to break up with him? Maybe you could write a pros/cons list about the relationship. It should definitely improve/add value to your life, not take away from it. It sounds like you need more mental stimulation. I wonder if there is a reason he only talks about these few things? Is he on the spectrum? Sometimes autistic people can't read social cues that someone is tired of hearing about a topic and it is one they are really excited about, so they want to share with anyone who will listen.

I'm not sure if I want to break up. I want to be apart sometimes, when talking to him becomes overwhelming. This relationship does bring comfort and stability to my life, but it mostly does when it's strictly physical. Not sex exclusively, also cuddling and stuff. The relationship seems to work better when we don't talk.
I asked him to read about autism and compare some examples to his life, maybe see some parallels. Unfortunately he was adamant it's all bogus.

 

[untothedepths]

for warned, if this is a young relationship (as in years together) that disinterest and argument aspect could get worse, and have underlying implications on his personality. be wary to stick with it if you think a progression of this would make you miserable.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I agree with your mom. It sounds like you're not very compatible.

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

Most people have a very difficult time changing themselves. Can't change their own habits, can't maintain a news year's resolution, can't do their homework or clean up after themselves. Can't stop procrastinating. Even though they express that they themselves want to.

How much more difficult then is it to change someone else that doesn't even want to be changed?
An impossible task.

 

[marlyn]

I'm just really tired of him being uninterested in having a rich conversation with me. I talk about something and he's only engaged if we argue. When I share my interests with him, he gives me the cold shoulder. It seems like he's only interested in proving he's right, and so when we argue, even when his point is absurd, he will push it to extremes.
I don't really talk about it, but the topics he's interested in are very limited. He would talk to me - barely - about video games and anime, and even then we would most likely argue, because he doesn't like my opinions on certain aspects. I feel bored trying to talk to him about politics or culture or languages. I speak 6 languages, 4 of them fluently (a little flex here sorry), and I tried to engage him in learning. However, all he does is provide reasons to why he's not doing that. And when we talk politics, I just can't tolerate that for long, because he becomes aggressive.
I tried to get him to read more literature. Recently I've been rereading Dostoevsky because of Silent Hill 2, and I recommended my bf to read more. He never did.

I find myself talking to other men sometimes. Nothing intimate, of course. I just have some very intelligent coworkers, mostly middle aged, who have so many great experiences and knowledge to share. I know my boyfriend doesn't strive to become like those men and it makes me so fucking depressed. I don't care about looks, most of men I admire look really tired, but it seems that I have a taste for smarts. Something my boyfriend doesn't want to upgrade.

My mom tells me he's not my type. That I should dump him. I'm really tired of those conversations, too. So I have no one to share this information with. Please don't judge me for bringing this personal matter here. I'm sorry if I hurt someone's feelings.

I don't really know what to do or why I even shared that. He's just texting me right now, and as usual we're having a half-assed interaction again.

I think your mom is right. I think you might be happier single. Then you'll find a person who is more caring, more sensitive, more respectful. Someone who really loves you. Good luck

 

[star.trip]

I'm not an expert on relationships because they don't break up in the end. You just have to answer these questions for yourself:
Do you love him? Is the way he loves you, if he loves you, good for you? Are you happy with him?
What you have been recommended to make a list of pros and cons is very good, and listening to different opinions is another option. sometimes we are blinded and we are not able to see beyond (That's what love has).

 

[struggles_inc]

I'm not an expert on relationships because they don't break up in the end. You just have to answer these questions for yourself:
Do you love him? Is the way he loves you, if he loves you, good for you? Are you happy with him?
What you have been recommended to make a list of pros and cons is very good, and listening to different opinions is another option. sometimes we are blinded and we are not able to see beyond (That's what love has).

I love him, but he doesn't make me happy. In fact, most of the time, he makes me pretty sad.

 

[star.trip]

I love him, but he doesn't make me happy. In fact, most of the time, he makes me pretty sad.

now with this answer, you can decide what you want to do.
Best of luck. Best regards.

 

[undecided]

I'm just really tired of him being uninterested in having a rich conversation with me. I talk about something and he's only engaged if we argue. When I share my interests with him, he gives me the cold shoulder. It seems like he's only interested in proving he's right, and so when we argue, even when his point is absurd, he will push it to extremes.
I don't really talk about it, but the topics he's interested in are very limited. He would talk to me - barely - about video games and anime, and even then we would most likely argue, because he doesn't like my opinions on certain aspects. I feel bored trying to talk to him about politics or culture or languages. I speak 6 languages, 4 of them fluently (a little flex here sorry), and I tried to engage him in learning. However, all he does is provide reasons to why he's not doing that. And when we talk politics, I just can't tolerate that for long, because he becomes aggressive.
I tried to get him to read more literature. Recently I've been rereading Dostoevsky because of Silent Hill 2, and I recommended my bf to read more. He never did.

I find myself talking to other men sometimes. Nothing intimate, of course. I just have some very intelligent coworkers, mostly middle aged, who have so many great experiences and knowledge to share. I know my boyfriend doesn't strive to become like those men and it makes me so fucking depressed. I don't care about looks, most of men I admire look really tired, but it seems that I have a taste for smarts. Something my boyfriend doesn't want to upgrade.

My mom tells me he's not my type. That I should dump him. I'm really tired of those conversations, too. So I have no one to share this information with. Please don't judge me for bringing this personal matter here. I'm sorry if I hurt someone's feelings.

I don't really know what to do or why I even shared that. He's just texting me right now, and as usual we're having a half-assed interaction again.

You're obviously not a match. Walk away... simple !

 

[Spreadingmywings]

Alright lil bro



Fuarkkkkk i was literally about to take everything that was said srs too. Until that part.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I get the feeling if you truly wanted to leave, you'd have done so by now. And I doubt many people would make up their mind one way or the other on the basis of what a bunch of internet strangers say. But there's no right or wrong here - it's whatever you feel like you want to do. If the stability, familiarity and any other perks outweigh the negative, then it makes sense you'd take no action.

I've had the same situation more times than I can count, really. Where I'm in a not-great relationship but I'm either too lazy to leave it, or unwilling to start over and be alone in the interim. So I definitely understand sticking it out. And people shouldn't really act as if it's so easy to leave a relationship because for many, it isn't. Honestly, it can be something as dumb as having another person to talk to or watch TV with that prevents us from moving on sometimes.

It occurs to me that a good place to start might be to ask yourself if you'd rather be alone, or with someone else. Is it the solitude you want, or a better man?

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

I think this is normal with depression, I'm growing tired of everyone around and pushing them away.

 

[pyx]

do whatever you feel is best. you will likely end up hurting him by denying your own feelings and eroding the relationship through projecting your own disinterest onto him. there are innumerable ways to weigh the value of a relationship, but they all boil down to whether or not you feel satisfied or not. think long-term

 

[EvisceratedJester]

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Alright lil bro
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Fuarkkkkk i was literally about to take everything that was said srs too. Until that part.

All you care about are the looks of women's feet and having sex with Doja Cat, thus everything you say is invalid and shall forever be invalid. You are invalid as a person.