Lady Laudanum
Here for a bad time, not a long time
- May 9, 2024
- 808
I've been entrusted to deliver @GuessWhosBack 's final remarks to this forum. I'll also add some of my own input but I'll be intentionally vague about certain details. Don't worry, it's good news. Although I hate to see him go and I'll miss him, I hope I never see that punk ass bitch again on this forum 
He's in recovery and mentioned multiple times that he was no longer suicidal, so I think it's safe to assume that he's doing well. He was reluctant to check himself into the psych ward at first and for the first few days he was ambivalent about whether that was the right decision. Then, he made a breakthrough last week. He was able to tolerate the medication that he was prescribed, engage fully with therapy, and even meet someone that might become a lifelong friend in real life. His parents, who he likely thought didn't care about him, stepped up for the first time - better late than never. In the past few days, he actually had a good time in the psych ward and got along with the staff members as well as most of the patients. He'll be stepping away from SS indefinitely despite the fact that he met some really awesome people on here, because he considers that a necessary step in his recovery. I wish that motherfucker all the best and I hope he conquers the fucking world.
A few days before he voluntarily went to the psych ward, he sent me a DM, told me that he resigned from his job, and revealed his plans to CTB as well as his method, which was highly lethal but also gruesome. I told him that I respected his decision, but that it was not the outcome anyone would want for him. He seemed to have his mind made up at that time, and it is not my place to talk someone out of suicide if they're making a rational and informed decision. However, out of the blue, he messaged me and asked me whether I would voluntarily check myself in at the psych ward if I was in his situation. This was when I figured that he likely had second thoughts about his decision to CTB. I answered as honestly as possible, and said yes, even though I knew that he could end up with even more trauma from the psychiatric ward if he listened to my advice. I knew that I could potentially make the situation worse, but as soon as he seemed like he started having second thoughts, I knew there was a possibility of getting through to him.
He agreed to go to the psych ward voluntarily, under the conditions that I stay sober, take recovery from my own issues seriously, and give therapy another real chance - actually engage with therapy instead of simply going through the motions. I kept my promise and I intend to continue doing so. I know he can't verify whether I've actually been taking care of my physical and mental health, but I'm genuinely also ready to try my best to recover, because this is probably the best chance I will ever have in this life. He told me that it would take a miracle for him to come out of this whole situation alive, but now he's the one who left me behind on this forum to pursue recovery. How the tables have turned. Maybe a miracle did happen. Or maybe it wasn't a miracle, but just a testament to how resilient this stoopid idiot is.
People can call me pro-life and hate me for doing this all they want. I don't care and I know I did right by him. I saw that he had a potential second thought about CTB, and I knew that it was not SI. I knew that a small part of him wanted to entertain the possibility of turning things around and living a full life. He was a true friend and I'll willingly be shunned by the entire forum if it means that he's going to be ok. I have very few close friends but there is a whole lot I'm willing to do for people that really matter to me. Ruining my reputation on this forum is an inconsequential price to pay if it means I convinced him to do something that saved his own life.
I used to jokingly say that I had an evil plan to keep recommending new books to him, so that he never gets to CTB after finishing his reading list. Well, it looks like my evil plan worked after all, in a slightly different way. I win, bitch. But you win too. Enjoy your fucking prize and have a goooooooood life, you crayon eater. I knew you could do it all along, and I'm grateful for the privilege of being your friend for the past few weeks. Maybe one day we'll run into each other on a forum related to careers in STEM, without even knowing it. Whatever happens, I hope you're out there living your best life despite all the hardships you've been through. I have faith that you can weather the storm and live out the remainder of your life in relative peace. Love you bro. Godspeed, motherfucker.
He's in recovery and mentioned multiple times that he was no longer suicidal, so I think it's safe to assume that he's doing well. He was reluctant to check himself into the psych ward at first and for the first few days he was ambivalent about whether that was the right decision. Then, he made a breakthrough last week. He was able to tolerate the medication that he was prescribed, engage fully with therapy, and even meet someone that might become a lifelong friend in real life. His parents, who he likely thought didn't care about him, stepped up for the first time - better late than never. In the past few days, he actually had a good time in the psych ward and got along with the staff members as well as most of the patients. He'll be stepping away from SS indefinitely despite the fact that he met some really awesome people on here, because he considers that a necessary step in his recovery. I wish that motherfucker all the best and I hope he conquers the fucking world.
A few days before he voluntarily went to the psych ward, he sent me a DM, told me that he resigned from his job, and revealed his plans to CTB as well as his method, which was highly lethal but also gruesome. I told him that I respected his decision, but that it was not the outcome anyone would want for him. He seemed to have his mind made up at that time, and it is not my place to talk someone out of suicide if they're making a rational and informed decision. However, out of the blue, he messaged me and asked me whether I would voluntarily check myself in at the psych ward if I was in his situation. This was when I figured that he likely had second thoughts about his decision to CTB. I answered as honestly as possible, and said yes, even though I knew that he could end up with even more trauma from the psychiatric ward if he listened to my advice. I knew that I could potentially make the situation worse, but as soon as he seemed like he started having second thoughts, I knew there was a possibility of getting through to him.
He agreed to go to the psych ward voluntarily, under the conditions that I stay sober, take recovery from my own issues seriously, and give therapy another real chance - actually engage with therapy instead of simply going through the motions. I kept my promise and I intend to continue doing so. I know he can't verify whether I've actually been taking care of my physical and mental health, but I'm genuinely also ready to try my best to recover, because this is probably the best chance I will ever have in this life. He told me that it would take a miracle for him to come out of this whole situation alive, but now he's the one who left me behind on this forum to pursue recovery. How the tables have turned. Maybe a miracle did happen. Or maybe it wasn't a miracle, but just a testament to how resilient this stoopid idiot is.
People can call me pro-life and hate me for doing this all they want. I don't care and I know I did right by him. I saw that he had a potential second thought about CTB, and I knew that it was not SI. I knew that a small part of him wanted to entertain the possibility of turning things around and living a full life. He was a true friend and I'll willingly be shunned by the entire forum if it means that he's going to be ok. I have very few close friends but there is a whole lot I'm willing to do for people that really matter to me. Ruining my reputation on this forum is an inconsequential price to pay if it means I convinced him to do something that saved his own life.
I used to jokingly say that I had an evil plan to keep recommending new books to him, so that he never gets to CTB after finishing his reading list. Well, it looks like my evil plan worked after all, in a slightly different way. I win, bitch. But you win too. Enjoy your fucking prize and have a goooooooood life, you crayon eater. I knew you could do it all along, and I'm grateful for the privilege of being your friend for the past few weeks. Maybe one day we'll run into each other on a forum related to careers in STEM, without even knowing it. Whatever happens, I hope you're out there living your best life despite all the hardships you've been through. I have faith that you can weather the storm and live out the remainder of your life in relative peace. Love you bro. Godspeed, motherfucker.
Last edited:
, or anything else they want to chat about. I may not be able to solve anyone's problems but I can sure sympathize ... 
