TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,955
In my other thread, I talked about how much I valued hugs and physical affection, especially from various people and people I hold a lot of high regard or value from. I am almost quick to say that "half hugs are just as bad (or even worse) than no hugs (rejection)", but it's more grey than anything. Sometimes it is worse than no hugs, partly due to the reason of insincerity and just out of pressure rather than willingness. Pretty much it means that people do it like they feel like they have to rather than wantingly just giving it - so they half-assed it. Then again, on the other hand, having no hugs at all gives the sense of emptiness and things missing. Here is a mini-story that inspired me to post about this.
Mini-story (latter part of the huggy-trolly wars, early 2018 until 03/07/2019):
Over the years, during the huggy trolly wars (see thread for more details) and my hugging adventures, crusades, or whatever you wish to coin it (against pro-lifers) and what not, it seems like during late 2018, or even early 2019, the war is turning against me and my efforts. While I haven't deployed my anime card against the anti-hug pro-lifers yet, I was coming closer and closer. There were more times where I wasn't able to get a full hug, but a half hug, a-frame hug (which is lame imho), anything that is seen a bit insincere but rather obligatory. When this keeps on, I oftenly go back home anxious and worrying about what the future held for me in terms of physical affection (not even sexual ones). If things get worse and had I not had my amazing encounter with my ladyfriend, things would escalate into a nastier war and consequences for me and them. I'll just leave the rest to your imagination, but let's just say the future would have been very bleak (socially, legally depending on what happens, and even long term).
Luckily, my ladyfriend has delivered the ultimate hug and that has officially ended the huggy-trolly wars (as well as resulted in a smol recovery in March 2019). I still hug when I can get some, but no longer weaponize or use trolling tactics or cause trouble because that "hug" I got from someone who means a lot to me, has put me at peace and allowed me to live on (until early 2020 at least).
Now you may wonder, but why do you still care about hugs when it has already been resolved? Well for me, the peace treaty, armistice I had was for any retaliation related events and getting even and stuff as a result of the rejection. However, that does not preclude the overall culture of physical affection changing (in the long term) into something that is more distant, cold, calculated, and transactional. In other words, while I won't ever retaliate as a result of rejection (hug), it doesn't mean that rejection still doesn't hurt me in the long term. It still does over time, and may be a big contributor towards CTB in the long term.
Mini-story (latter part of the huggy-trolly wars, early 2018 until 03/07/2019):
Over the years, during the huggy trolly wars (see thread for more details) and my hugging adventures, crusades, or whatever you wish to coin it (against pro-lifers) and what not, it seems like during late 2018, or even early 2019, the war is turning against me and my efforts. While I haven't deployed my anime card against the anti-hug pro-lifers yet, I was coming closer and closer. There were more times where I wasn't able to get a full hug, but a half hug, a-frame hug (which is lame imho), anything that is seen a bit insincere but rather obligatory. When this keeps on, I oftenly go back home anxious and worrying about what the future held for me in terms of physical affection (not even sexual ones). If things get worse and had I not had my amazing encounter with my ladyfriend, things would escalate into a nastier war and consequences for me and them. I'll just leave the rest to your imagination, but let's just say the future would have been very bleak (socially, legally depending on what happens, and even long term).
Luckily, my ladyfriend has delivered the ultimate hug and that has officially ended the huggy-trolly wars (as well as resulted in a smol recovery in March 2019). I still hug when I can get some, but no longer weaponize or use trolling tactics or cause trouble because that "hug" I got from someone who means a lot to me, has put me at peace and allowed me to live on (until early 2020 at least).
Now you may wonder, but why do you still care about hugs when it has already been resolved? Well for me, the peace treaty, armistice I had was for any retaliation related events and getting even and stuff as a result of the rejection. However, that does not preclude the overall culture of physical affection changing (in the long term) into something that is more distant, cold, calculated, and transactional. In other words, while I won't ever retaliate as a result of rejection (hug), it doesn't mean that rejection still doesn't hurt me in the long term. It still does over time, and may be a big contributor towards CTB in the long term.
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If anyone has thoughts on half-hugs and whether they like them (or not), feel free to share your thoughts and opinions.
