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hereornot

hereornot

Freedom
May 16, 2024
183
Well, folks, I believe I'm heading towards my first attempt. This has always been an option since everything I built was consumed to save my mother's life by myself. She is borderline and schizophrenic, and who knows what else. They call it cluster B.

I had a comfortable and independent life until 2013. Without any involvement from my mother, whom I ran away from when I was 10 years old. Little did I know what awaited me as I was the only one doing everything to keep her alive 20 years later.

Oly those who have had to take care of a family member like that will know what it's like.

In addition to this, I have an only brother, who is gay, but he is also a person who does a lot of evil in secret and who portrays himself as a good guy.

My father died almost 3 years ago and this sad situation got even worse, with my brother co-opting my lawyer in the probate process of his death and the two of them stealing from me everything I would have rightfully received as an inheritance.

Yes, I could contest it, yes, they would probably end up in jail for what they did. And maybe they will.

But this weekend my money will run out and I can't stand living anymore, and I don't have any reason to do so, since none of the family members I have left are worth living for. I'd rather die than have these people as my closest people.

Let's get to the practical issues. My initial method would be total suspension, because I want it to be the first and last attempt.

However, I don't really like the physiological consequences after death, such as getting my pants dirty and having an orgasm after I'm dead. I wouldn't like to be the target of whoever finds me in this situation, especially if it's not the police or something like that.

One alternative is to put my head under the wheels of a truck or bus.

It would be much messier, but quick and guaranteed. At least that way no one would be pulling down my pants and touching my organs still hanging there.

What is your opinion about the two alternatives I chose?

For your information, I don't care about my family membros, they don't care about me, so what they think doesn't change anything.

And yes, this could be avoided, but there isn't enough time. I live in Brazil and justice doesn't work here. Those responsible for this situation may never be held accountable and will still profit from my death.

I also have nothing against gays, I've always respected them and I have no prejudice, but I learned through my brother, who is and doesn't admit it publicly, the worst of human nature. I hope his hateful behavior towards the world has nothing to do with this, but I can't say for sure. I just know that I've been his target all my life for the simple reason that I'm straight.

The question is whether I should commit suicide right away and get this over with by Sunday and free myself from this life full of bad people with the same blood as me, or starve to death and owe other people money because what I have for my subsistence ends this weekend.

I choose to get this over with right now.

In your opinion, hang or literally take the bus?
 
Last edited:
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J

Jeebo5021

Member
Oct 8, 2024
66
Hey
I can really relate. My Father died last year and I'm having to leave my job. It's made me realize how alone I really am.
I can understand why you want to do what your thinking of. The truck and bus option is a difficult way to go. It relies on other people to drive the truck or bus and it is possible that they could stop in time. Plus if it only damages you part way, it can be even worse and messy.
This board will help you through, no matter what you decide.
 
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hereornot

hereornot

Freedom
May 16, 2024
183
Hey
I can really relate. My Father died last year and I'm having to leave my job. It's made me realize how alone I really am.
I can understand why you want to do what your thinking of. The truck and bus option is a difficult way to go. It relies on other people to drive the truck or bus and it is possible that they could stop in time. Plus if it only damages you part way, it can be even worse and messy.
This board will help you through, no matter what you decide.
I think about not warning the drivers... I always think about avoiding traumatizing other people, but at this moment I'm trying for the first time to think only about my goal.

I've seen several videos of this on websites and I've seen how fast it is.

Thank you for comment. My feelings for your father.
 
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ladylazarus4

ladylazarus4

exhausted
May 12, 2024
226
I'd recommend to not use a bus. A train, maybe. But still, seems wrong to involve others.
 
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Z-A

Z-A

Let me go
Mar 3, 2024
345
Of course something that doesn't involve others in participating in your death. Nothing much to be said here.
 
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hereornot

hereornot

Freedom
May 16, 2024
183
I'd recommend to not use a bus. A train, maybe. But still, seems wrong to involve others.
The problem with the train is that it doesn't crush everything, it just cuts it and from what is reported the person still stays there for several seconds rolling their eyes and moving their lips...

I want to be unconscious immediately.
If anyone has another "hypothetical" suggestion, please feel free to do so.
 
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hematomatema

hematomatema

my name was lewis
Feb 29, 2024
156
The problem with the train is that it doesn't crush everything, it just cuts it and from what is reported the person still stays there for several seconds rolling their eyes and moving their lips...

I want to be unconscious immediately.
I mean, the bus won't necessarily kill you either. There's no guarantee that SI won't kick in at the last second, you shift your head just an inch, and not enough of your head or brain or other parts of your body are crushed. Then you won't be dead, you'll just be a vegetable. Hell, I'd be inclined to say it's more likely that you'd end up this way rather than dead.
 
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hereornot

hereornot

Freedom
May 16, 2024
183
If anyone has another "hypothetical" suggestion, please feel free to do so.
 
ladylazarus4

ladylazarus4

exhausted
May 12, 2024
226
try looking at the PPeH. You can find pdfs online.
 

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  • 162454_162400_The_Peaceful_Pill_Handbook_The_Essentials_Philip_Nitscjke_and_Fiona_Stewart_z-li...pdf
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,616
I hope that you find peace from the suffering, I wish you the best.
 
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